…yuck, just yuck
The Doclopedia #272
Altered (United) States: Vermont “Love Is In The Air”
In 1955, Vermont resident Darlene Hensdale, an avid gardener and award winning rose grower, began working on a new type of rose. If things went well, she would soon have a climbing rose with small flowers in three mixed colors. Sure enough, in 1961 she patented the “Fireworks” rose, whose small and profuse yellow flowers were streaked with vivid orange and red. It was a huge hit and won many awards. It was also being sold by three of the nation’s top rose nurseries. Soon, gardens everywhere, but especially in Vermont, had at least one of the climbers.
Nobody knew they had a mutant in their midst.
See, Darlene fertilized these roses with horse manure from her friend Henry Barnwell’s farm. Which had an excellent horse pasture that was watered mostly by runoff from up the hill…which was polluted by illegally dumped toxic pharmaceutical wastes.
Which made those “Fireworks” roses turn into beautiful little pollen factories whose product caused people to mellow the hell out and love their fellow man.
Actually, exposure to the pollen caused people to love pretty much everything. Animals, the environment, life…everything. Now, the effects could vary from person to person. Some whacked out psycho motherfucker might just get calm and relaxed, while some good hearted person might just start acting saintly good. It hit horny people pretty hard, which is why you can sometimes see couples screwing right out in the open.
Which the mellow and loving Vermonters just smile at.
It turns out that the longer and or earlier you are exposed to the pollen, the longer the effect lasts. By the time the US government started investigating things, most of the people in Vermont (and a goodly number of people in other states) were set for the rest of their lives. Even better, many of the roses had been shipped to other countries, where the effects were just as profound.
Eventually, all this crazy love stuff started to bother people whose businesses were not helped by a loving and non-violent/non-competitive populace. This included most of the world’s governments. Worldwide bans were placed on the “Fireworks” rose and a systematic eradication began in 1980.
Of course, by then, all that pollen had found it’s way to other types of roses, and roses are big time cross pollinators. By 1985, the eradication programs were halted and governments all over the world just mellowed out and loved each other.
Love is all you need.
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