...if we do it right The Doclopedia #2,371 DUCKS!: Eddie Eddie is a male mallard duck who has chosen to live in the small pond found on the grounds of Orange Hill School, in Citrus Valley, California. He has lived their since 2003. He has never had a mate and he does not migrate. The … Continue reading This Might Get A Bit Messy
Month: May 2022
Two Pork Pies, Please
...and a bottle of beer The Doclopedia #2,370 DUCKS!: Dolly Duck In Tooniverse 1-C, Dolly Duck is one of the biggest stars of stage and screen. She's famed for her wildly slapstick dance numbers and her rapid fire patter songs. She often acts opposite the likes of Millicent Mallardi, Reginald Gosling, and Sid Sealy.Dolly was … Continue reading Two Pork Pies, Please
A Day In The Forest With Alice
...Alice is a grizzly bear The Doclopedia #2,369 Average Joes: Joe Petrozzi, Cab Driver NAME: Joey S. PetrozziAGE: 39LOCATION: St. Louis, MissouriDESCRIPTION: This Joe is 5'10”, about 200 pounds, big and beefy. He has dark brown hair and brown eyes. He's married to Lena, with whom he has 3 kids.“I'm born right here in St. … Continue reading A Day In The Forest With Alice
Silver Sea Lion Serenade
...not really very melodic The Doclopedia #2,368 Average Joes: Joe Adams, Pulp Author NAME: Joe R. AdamsAGE: 74LOCATION: Astoria, OregonDESCRIPTION: At 74, partially bald and gray haired, Joe Adams looks like somebodies grandfather, which he is, 9 times over. 5'9”, a bit on the chubby side, and with a full handlebar mustache, he is married … Continue reading Silver Sea Lion Serenade
It’s All Fun & Games Until The Clowns Start Mutating
...then, shit gets real The Doclopedia #2,367 Average Joes: Joe Two Bears, Trapper NAME: Joe Two BearsAGE: 45LOCATION: St. Marys, MontanaDESCRIPTION: This Joe is a Native American and Montana native. He stands 6' tall and has graying black hair and brown eyes. He lives in a small cabin about a mile outside of town, with … Continue reading It’s All Fun & Games Until The Clowns Start Mutating
Sneaking Around At Night In Boston
...innocently, mind you The Doclopedia #2,366 Average Joes: Joe McKenna, Security Guard NAME: Joseph T. McKennaAGE: 28LOCATION: Los Angeles, CaliforniaDESCRIPTION: Joe is 5'11” tall, weighs 155 pounds and looks like a typical California surfer, which he is. He's not married and lives in a house near the beach with 3 other surfers.“I took this job … Continue reading Sneaking Around At Night In Boston
Doc Tempest And The Robot Revolt
...from the June, 2035 issue The Doclopedia #2,365 Average Joes: Joe Olsen, Gardener NAME: Jonas L. OlsenAGE: 40LOCATION: Austin, TexasDESCRIPTION: Joe is a 6'4”, 250 pound native son of Austin, Texas. He has short brown/gray hair, a mustache, and brown eyes. He has a wife and 4 kids. He's been a gardener for 25 years.“Yeah, … Continue reading Doc Tempest And The Robot Revolt
Let’s Play With The Spiders!
...I know at least 4 people that just left this page The Doclopedia #2,364 Average Joes: Joe Huang, Discount Wizard NAME: Joe F. HuangAGE: 67LOCATION: New York, New YorkDESCRIPTION: Joe is a Chinese American man who is 5'6” tall and a bit chubby. He is almost totally bald. He has one brown eye and one … Continue reading Let’s Play With The Spiders!
Chapter 944: In Which Our Hero, Angered By Corrupt Officials, Burns Down The Town Hall, Steals The Money, And Gives Most Of It To The Poor
...there was a small surcharge The Doclopedia #2,363 Average Joes: Joe Pozlowsky, Special Delivery Man NAME: Joseph K. PozlowskyAGE: 33LOCATION: Chicago, IllinoisDESCRIPTION: Joe is 5'8” tall, heavy set, muscular, and average looking. He is married with 3 kids, two dogs, a cat, and a rabbit.Joe works for Green Star Special deliveries, and when they say … Continue reading Chapter 944: In Which Our Hero, Angered By Corrupt Officials, Burns Down The Town Hall, Steals The Money, And Gives Most Of It To The Poor
New Sport: Combat Golf
...it will make millions The Doclopedia #2,362 Out In The Woods: The Trail Gets Hard Before you leave on your journey, my son, I must tell you that the faster trail is not the easier trail. The easy trail is a merchant's trail, and covers 200 miles, stopping at many towns and villages. It is … Continue reading New Sport: Combat Golf
My Life Among The Flowers & Herbs
...until summer heat fries them all The Doclopedia #2,361 Out In The Woods: The Squirrels Are All Big And White Now, you gotta promise us that you won't tell our parents about what we tell you, okay? Okay, so, me and Snug and Barry and Moe here were out in the woods one day when … Continue reading My Life Among The Flowers & Herbs
Don’t Slide Down The Mountain, Charlie!
...he slid down the mountain anyway The Doclopedia #2,360 Out In The Woods: You'll Come To A Cabin Y'all stay away from that cabin, ya hear? That's where Talkis Toron lived, and where he ate all them people he killed. 14 of 'em, it was. Maybe more than that, nobody knows for sure. When the … Continue reading Don’t Slide Down The Mountain, Charlie!
Power Dog Fights The Rocket Gang
...writing and art by Yoyo BC The Doclopedia #2,359 Out In The Woods: There's A Treasure Hahaha! You hear that, Slim? These fellers are goin' to go out into Piney Ridge and look for Mexican Jack's treasure. Hahaha!Now listen up here, boys, it's been 20 damned years since old Mexican Jack and his gang stole … Continue reading Power Dog Fights The Rocket Gang
Loud Pink Fish
...and they never shut up The Doclopedia #2,358 Out In The Woods: Are Fairies Listen well to me, bold adventurers. While it is true that you can cut 4 days travel off of your journey by going through the Fairywood, instead of around it, there are rules you must follow to the letter! Stray from … Continue reading Loud Pink Fish
The Rare And Beautiful Honking Chipmunks Of Potawango Island
...just merrily honking as the run about The Doclopedia #2,357 Out In The Woods: You'll Hear Strange Music Do you hear it, amigo? Tonight it sounds like violins and cellos. Last week, it was like gentle piano music, but with an echo. Always, it is different, always it is strange. People coming to these woods … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Honking Chipmunks Of Potawango Island
Not In This Issue: Nudity, Crude Humor, Disrespectful Attitudes, And Dangerous Opinions
...you might just want to skip this issue The Doclopedia #2,356 Out In The Woods: There's A Giant Bear Hell yes Big Joe is out there! Biggest damned bear I've ever seen. Bigger than them Kodiak bears by a good 500 pounds, and taller, too. Here in a bit, I'll take ya out and show … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Nudity, Crude Humor, Disrespectful Attitudes, And Dangerous Opinions
Bionic Hogs From Hell!
...they came to Earth for our garbage The Doclopedia #2,355 Stop And Think!: Before You Drink That Potion I dunno, Dr. Frantelli, I'm thinkin' ya might not want to drink that ancient potion after all, what with it sittin' here in this chamber for 500 years. That just don't seem like a good idea.Yeah, I … Continue reading Bionic Hogs From Hell!
The Kitty Cats Vacation In Spain
...lovin' those seafood tapas The Doclopedia #2,354 Stop And Think!: Before You Rip Off That Rich Person Ladies, I'm thinking that this may be a mistake. Maybe it's too risky for us to both milk this rich fellow for his money as mistresses and steal all the money in his secret vault. I mean, is … Continue reading The Kitty Cats Vacation In Spain
Pistols In The Parlor
...very unusual The Doclopedia #2,353 Stop And Think!: Before You Have Sex With A Diety Look, Brotos, you know that I would never presume to tell you what to do, but do you REALLY want to enter into the Sex Den of Padloth? I mean certainly, his current form is exceptionally virile and handsome, but … Continue reading Pistols In The Parlor
Blue Plums
...tasty, but strange looking The Doclopedia #2,352 Stop And Think!: Before You Storm That Castle No, really, Bartus, think about it a minute. When the sun comes up in a couple of hours, we and 8,000 other poor conscripted fools are going to run up that hill and attack that castle. Well be expected to … Continue reading Blue Plums
Bopping Through The City By The Bay
...ahh, San Francisco in the 70s The Doclopedia #2,351 Stop And Think!: Before You Go Back In Time Okay, I'm going to repeat this again one more time: As far as we've been able to discover, you can't change history in any real way. You might alter somebodies personal history, but you can't kill Hitler … Continue reading Bopping Through The City By The Bay
Uncle Doc Talks To You About Grifting The Rubes
...mostly, very wealthy rubes The Doclopedia #2,350 Stop And Think!: Before You Put On That Power Armor Look, buddy, I know you want to suit up and go fight crime and aliens and stuff, but maybe take a minute to think this through.First off, you're not Tony Stark, so you'll need to keep your identity … Continue reading Uncle Doc Talks To You About Grifting The Rubes
Watch This Space!
...just keep watching The Doclopedia #2,349 Stop And Think!: Before You Enter That Dungeon This place is called “The Dungeon of the Hungry Undead” for a reason. What the hell do you think those hungry undead eat, buttered scones? Pizza? Fish and chips?NO! They eat LIVING FLESH! You know, the stuff that you, your fellow … Continue reading Watch This Space!
Iron Chef: Battle Sausage Biscuit
...Iron Chef South won it I now have a Ko-Fi page, so you can donate money to help me keep writing!https://ko-fi.com/doccross4591 The Doclopedia #2,348 A California Kid & Spider Story: The Junkyard Job: Part 7 It was nearing midnight on Sunday, roughly 50 hours after they had finished the junkyard job and about three hours … Continue reading Iron Chef: Battle Sausage Biscuit
My Life In The Land Of Geeks
...I've been here so long. The Doclopedia #2,347 A California Kid & Spider Story: The Junkyard Job: Part 6 It was 8:15 PM on the night of the job and the California Kid was sitting in a pickup truck on top of a hill overlooking the junkyard and surrounding area a mile away. He had … Continue reading My Life In The Land Of Geeks
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