…mostly, very wealthy rubes
The Doclopedia #2,350
Stop And Think!: Before You Put On That Power Armor
Look, buddy, I know you want to suit up and go fight crime and aliens and stuff, but maybe take a minute to think this through.
First off, you’re not Tony Stark, so you’ll need to keep your identity secret. Without billions for security and related stuff, you’ll be fending off revenge seeking assholes constantly.
Second, you are not exactly in the best physical shape. You need to lose about 30 pounds, work out for a few months, get that trick knee taken care of, and maybe eat something healthier that fast food and donuts. As it stands right now, a 7 year old girl with a golf club could seriously fuck you up, assuming you didn’t have a heart attack trying to fight her.
Finally, are you 100% sure this armored suit will work properly. I mean, sure, your lasers work just fine, but you bought those off the shelf from Lasers Inc and bolted them onto the suit. The stuff you created yourself might need 1 or 10 shakedown cruises before going into actual battle. Remember your homemade mini missiles? 5 duds out of 7 missiles is not a good average, homie. I’m not so sure about you using that hacked version of Siri for your onboard assistant/OS, either. It kept saying “I could not find that” yesterday.
I mean, you do you, pal, and I’ll be right here at HQ in the barn monitoring the police calls for you, but you really ought to rethink this.
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