...on vacation The Doclopedia #3,454 This Ain't Good!: Those Are Exterminator Bots “Fuck me sideways! We've got 9 Exterminator Bots heading this way from the northeast. Looks like they're moving about 15 klicks an hour, so they'll be at the gate in about 20 minutes. That ain't gonna be good. Got any ideas, Nakishi? We … Continue reading The Dancing Elks Go To Hawaii
A Dog And A Cat Going Off A Cliff
...on skateboards The Doclopedia #3,453 This Ain't Good!: People Showing Up “People are showing up here? What the fuck, Ahmed? You said your uncle's house would be empty for the whole weekend. Why are there people here? I don't know, but you'd better check them out. Josh, you go tell all our friends to clear … Continue reading A Dog And A Cat Going Off A Cliff
I Probably Ought To Stay Away From Camelot
...she said she wasn't married The Doclopedia #3,452 This Ain't Good!: Finding A Bomb “Sarge, you need to get over here. Tate has found a bomb, and it looks like a big one. Yeah, I'll take a look. Holy shit! That must be 50 gallons of binary explosive! That could vaporize this entire block. What, … Continue reading I Probably Ought To Stay Away From Camelot
Learning About Women
...still doing it The Doclopedia #3,451 This Ain't Good!: Being Chased By Cops “Oh, Eddie, this ain't good at all! Them cops is hot on our tail and they've probably raidioed for other cars. I knew we shoulda used Sam's motorcycle. We coulda lost these cops by goin' through them narrow allies back in Chinatown. … Continue reading Learning About Women
The Outrageously Violent, Yet Also Inspirational, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And Her Trip To the Mall
...co-starring her good buddy, Porky Polanski The Doclopedia #3,450 Sort Of Cool Magical Rings: Detect Alcohol If there is any amount of alcohol around within 90 feet, this clear glass ring will detect it when activated. The area where the alcohol is will glow bright yellow. Please note that the ring does not identify the … Continue reading The Outrageously Violent, Yet Also Inspirational, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And Her Trip To the Mall
Hats Full Of Joy
...and weed The Doclopedia #3,449 Sort Of Cool Magical Rings: Move Heavy Thing Although very useful, this black steel ring can only be used twice a day. Activating it allows the wearer to physically move something weighing up to 2,000 pounds as far as 5 feet. Note that if the object moved is unstable, it … Continue reading Hats Full Of Joy
Number 1,733,452,880 In A Series
...collect 'em all, kids! The Doclopedia #3,448 Sort Of Cool Magical Rings: Speak With Squirrels Like it says on the tin, this grey and white ring lets the wearer converse with squirrels of all types, including chipmunks, tree squirrels, ground squirrels, prairie dogs, and marmots. While squirrels are not the most intelligent creature, they can … Continue reading Number 1,733,452,880 In A Series
Washing Up After Trouble
...gotta stay clean The Doclopedia #3,447 Sort Of Cool Magical Rings: Hot Waterball The effect of this bright blue ring is similar to a Fireball spell, except that this is a ball of 210 degree water, just below the boiling point. It does damage to every one within 10 feet of it when it explodes. … Continue reading Washing Up After Trouble
Fish And Poker Chips
...why? The Doclopedia #3,446 Sort Of Cool Magical Rings: Enhanced Skipping Wearers of this pink and purple ring will find that they can skip merrily along at 3 times normal speed for 100 yards.While you may look foolish, it can come in handy to either escape trouble or distract somebody. Note that there is no … Continue reading Fish And Poker Chips
Doc Tempest And The Scarlet Vampire
...from the April 1966 issue The Doclopedia #3,445 Sort Of Cool Magical Rings: Protection VS Foul Smells This green and yellow ring will protect the wearer from most foul smells. Skunks, excrement, rotting flesh, the farts of your friends...you will not smell them at all. This sort of ring is highly prized by adventurers, because … Continue reading Doc Tempest And The Scarlet Vampire
The First Wild Party Of The Summer
...June 11, 1970 The Doclopedia #3,444 Places Along The Winding Road: Goblinia Coming either right before (if one is traveling east to west) or just after (if one is going west to east) the Monsterwoods, this underground country is a terrible place that will test even the most hardened adventurers. The Road spirals down roughly … Continue reading The First Wild Party Of The Summer
Godzilla VS Gail Simone
...my money is on Gail The Doclopedia #3,443 Places Along The Winding Road: Lakwyn Note: Continentwide, all halfling countries end in “wyn.” The northernmost wyn in the Known Lands, Lakwyn is closer to the Outlands than it is to other countries. The Lake People are on their Eastern border, while the Land of Shepherds lies … Continue reading Godzilla VS Gail Simone
Them Ice Cream Fairies Is Crazy!
...total fruitcakes The Doclopedia #3,442 Places Along The Winding Road: Polidan Situated at the southern end of Lake Trisus, Polidan is a large and powerful country in the Western Plains. With two major rivers running through it, including the mighty Onissus River that runs south from the lake, Polidan is a major hub for shipping. … Continue reading Them Ice Cream Fairies Is Crazy!
All Max Wanted Was Cheese
...maybe a nice brie The Doclopedia #3,441 Places Along The Winding Road: The Hellwoods This is a place that does not at all live up to it's name, but nonetheless is avoided by travelers, even though going around it adds many days to travel time. Most local folk will tell you that the Hellwoods are … Continue reading All Max Wanted Was Cheese
Green Hair Day
...short or long The Doclopedia #3,440 Places Along The Winding Road: Grungar Nobody knows for sure how long the Great Winding Road is, but a good guess might be 25,000 miles, since it is known to wind across the continent from north to south and east to west several times.The following entries were compiled by … Continue reading Green Hair Day
We Put A Fox In A Box With 8 Rocks, 6 Socks, 4 Locks, 2 Glocks, 5 Smocks, And 7 Ham Hocks
...we forgot the frocks The Doclopedia #3,439 Important Notices: About The Floating Woman We interrupt this broadcast to bring you news about the woman who has been floating through the air above Dallas for the last two days. While she previously floated between 900 and 1,200 feet up, she has within the last hour dropped … Continue reading We Put A Fox In A Box With 8 Rocks, 6 Socks, 4 Locks, 2 Glocks, 5 Smocks, And 7 Ham Hocks
Helping Out Around The Dungeon
...sweeping up bones, resetting traps, etc. The Doclopedia #3,438 Important Notices: About Smart Dogs Citizens! The World Council urges you to calm down. The recently arrived sapient dogs, the so called “Smart Dogs”, are not a danger to humans, ordinary dogs, or any other creatures. They are merely very intelligent dogs who are able to … Continue reading Helping Out Around The Dungeon
Good Cows
...just the best The Doclopedia #3,437 Important Notices: About The Giant Kangaroo WARNING! The Giant Kangaroo that was first sighted 4 days ago in western New South Wales is now in South Australia and fast approaching Adelaide. This 70 meter tall beast is incredibly dangerous and has so far proven almost impossible to hurt, let … Continue reading Good Cows
The Big Dog News
...not for small dogs The Doclopedia #3,436 Important Notices: About A Local Food Stall Friends, do not visit Po Yung's food stall on Sunrise Road. He does not use fresh vegetables and his meats are overly salted. He is a very bad cook and overcharges. I know all of this because he was my husband … Continue reading The Big Dog News
Serpent Surprise
...it was a bigass serpent The Doclopedia #3,435 Important Notices: About The Escaped Sex Droid ALERT! ALERT! A Class 3 Sex Droid has gone rogue and escaped from Lady Sylvia's Pleasure House. If you see this droid, do not engage with it in any manner. Consider it horny and dangerous. Report any sightings to Public … Continue reading Serpent Surprise
A Little Game Called Death
...a Jake Hunter novel The Doclopedia #3,434 Important Notices: About Bad Beer Dear Loyal Customers, Frank's Liquors is very sorry that the last shipment of Buddly Beer turned out to be flat and skunky. It was disgusting and we are glad you let us know. We've contacted our distributor for a refund and replacement. Please … Continue reading A Little Game Called Death
Purple Goons Going Crazy
...the green ones are okay The Doclopedia #3,433 Important Notices: About Your Damned Cat Okay, Paul, you've gotta do something about your damned cat, Emmie! She got out again and came over and terrorized Brutus. People on the sidewalk were laughing at him! How do you think it makes a 155 pound Rottweiler feel when … Continue reading Purple Goons Going Crazy
Slinks Chan Goes Undercover
...in New York The Doclopedia #3,432 Those Furry Little Bastards: On Mars 4-L Simon Okunda: Truth to tell, I'm surprised they took 130 years to get here. They've visited Earth, what, 14 times since 1410? We were expecting them a century ago. But they're here now and being amazingly restrained. Aside from a few Basic … Continue reading Slinks Chan Goes Undercover
We Should Not Have Teased The Bulls
...they were very crankyThe Doclopedia #3,431 Those Furry Little Bastards: On 1950's Earth 3-W Don Whitebread, Insurance Salesman: Well, by golly, I think they're some Commie experiment to disrupt society here in the USA. I'm already seeing increased insurance claims being files. Now, they aren't for anything huge, but starting small is how the commies … Continue reading We Should Not Have Teased The Bulls
Not A Doclopedia Post?
...how did this happen? The Building A Village series has started for my podcast. Go over to my Patreon or stay here and vote on what happens next. The turns will appear once a month on my podcast starting June 5th. On my Patreon, it's FREE to vote and the first episode every month is … Continue reading Not A Doclopedia Post?
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