...50% alcohol The Doclopedia #3,230 What's Behind Door #3: The King Of Swords! Yes, human, your choice of the third door has won you the King of Swords! You will find that no ordinary sword can defeat it. Surely you shall use it for doing what is good and righteous, like protecting the common folk. … Continue reading Hot Grog! →

...for his health The Doclopedia #3,229 What's Behind Door #3: A Year's Supply Of Butt Wax! Congratulations, Maxine, you've won a year's supply of Butt Wax! Large or small, this will shine up them all. You'll never leave home with an unwaxed butt again. Another fine product from Johnson & Wang, makers of Nipple Polish … Continue reading Muggy Winks Goes South →

...Jimmy will pay you outside The Doclopedia #3,228 What's Behind Door #3: A Smart Dog! Great news, George, you've won a Smart Dog! This puppy is guaranteed to have an IQ equal to the average 10 year old human. Easy to train and helpful around the house, you'll love your new best friend. Smart Dogs: … Continue reading Put That On The Table And Leave →

...somewhat messy, but tasty The Doclopedia #3,227 What's Behind Door #3: A Pair Of Quicky Shoes! Congratulations, Denise, you've won a pair of Quicky Shoes! These high tech shoes will let you move at twice your normal speed for up to an hour at a time. They're a great way to get places fast and … Continue reading Pudding In Your Pockets →

...without all the messy bits The Doclopedia #3,226 What's Behind Door #3: A Brick! Yes, Stan, it's a brick, but not just any brick. This is a Premium Grade brick from Brick-Co international, the world leader in brick technology. You'll be the envy of all your neighbors with this beauty, courtesy of Brick-Co!

...and now she's rockin' out The Doclopedia #3,225 What's Behind Door #3: A Vacation In Siberia! Oh, look! Is wonderful vacation at Club Vlad in Siberia. Airfare, accomodations, meals and clothing generously provided by Russian government. You will enjoy fresh air, bracing temperatures, and healthy work program. Remember, comrade, if you've been bad, you go … Continue reading Mrs. Wangdoodle Eats The Wrong Gummies →

...title: the Battle for Helm's Derp The Doclopedia #3,224 What's Behind Door #3: A RoboBroom! Congratulations, Bob! You've won a brand new Mark 3 RoboBroom from RoboMax! This semi-sentient modern wonder will keep your floor looking neat and tidy. Now available in 5 colors. Another great product from RoboMax!

...or over there, if you like The Doclopedia #3,223 What's Behind Door #3: A Bucket Of Fogfish! Yes, Debbie, it's a 3 gallon bucket of water containing 5 Bugeyed Fogfish! Imported directly from south Alfarica, these odd looking fish will be right at home in any aquarium. And we're also giving you a 5 pound … Continue reading Start Here →