...he was happy because his dog told him Satan loved him The Doclopedia #564 How To Murder...: A Cartoon Character Well, good luck with that. We here at the FBI have kept records of attempted murders of toons since the Bureau was founded. We have thousands of them on the book and that doesn't include … Continue reading The Story Of The Happy Little Boy
Month: May 2012
The 10 Things You Should Do Before Riding A Moose
...Number 1: Sober up! The Doclopedia #563 How To Murder...: A Clockwork Woman She was very, popular, Miss Lina Muller, the Clockwork Woman. People all over Europe, would flock to see her and hear her speak. She was declared a Marvel of Science and proof that the human imagination had no limits. Her father, Professor … Continue reading The 10 Things You Should Do Before Riding A Moose
Danger Filled Doughnuts!
...it's a sweet & creamy form of peril The Doclopedia #562 How To Murder...: A Hero If you're thinking that heroes must be damned hard to kill, you're right, buddy. Not that it can't be done, mind you, but it takes a whole lot of prep and planning. As an example, let's take a look … Continue reading Danger Filled Doughnuts!
Bean Planting For The Total Idiot
...First Step: find a bean. The Doclopedia #561 How To Murder...: A Wizard The main problem with trying to do a hit on a Wizard is that they have about a hundred ways to set up a warning system. Magical wards that make noise as you pass them, enchanted barriers that can detect homicidal … Continue reading Bean Planting For The Total Idiot
The Midnight Creeper & The Midnight Rider Meet The Midnight Rambler on the Midnight Special
...do I need to tell you what time it was? The Doclopedia #559 Calling All Frogs: The Terrible Treefrog When you think about it, it's kind of funny that a 4' 10” wiry framed little super villain called The Terrible Treefrog would be one of the most successful villains of all. Many villains were … Continue reading The Midnight Creeper & The Midnight Rider Meet The Midnight Rambler on the Midnight Special
Return Of The Sweet Smelling Bitches
...they be woofin', I be lovin' The Doclopedia #556 Calling All Frogs: Braised Giant Frog With Jeevoo Sauce Naturally, you want a fully mature male Yellow Legged Giant Frog of the Quoo Lake region. The females are, of course, unclean and the Red Legged Giant Frog is fit food only slaves and the Unenlightened. … Continue reading Return Of The Sweet Smelling Bitches
The Rare And Beautiful Blue Stinking Poppies Of Potawango Island
...breathtakingly beautiful, but WHEW! The Doclopedia #555 Calling All Frogs: Sewer Frogs In one of the many steampunk universes, a group of young genius criminals/heroes operate out of the Old Sewers of 1902 Paris. The Old Sewers were abandoned when the new, steam pump driven sewer system went into use. There are miles of … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Blue Stinking Poppies Of Potawango Island
Madness Takes It’s Tollhouse Cookie
... Mmmm, madness cookies! The Doclopedia #553 Calling All Frogs: Chameleon Frogs These small (4 inch long) frogs are native to the forests of Simdolis, which are located in the far west of the Greenwood. They are very common to this area, but due to their magical chameleonic powers, seldom seen. Chameleon Frogs cam not … Continue reading Madness Takes It’s Tollhouse Cookie
Mr. Porkwaffle Wrestles A Very Large Lizard
...Lizard: 1, Porkwaffle: 0 The Doclopedia #551 Calling All Frogs: The Great Frog Of Goognor Goognor is a small and mostly swampy kingdom. Those who live there are small and thin by human standards. They live in many simple villages on the islands in the swamps. In general, no other country would give a dragon's … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Wrestles A Very Large Lizard
Lucy Gets A Hamburger!
...because it's her birthday! The Doclopedia #549 The Colors: Brown On June 3rd, 2002, all of the totally brown cows in the world went on a killing rampage against humans and other cattle. They seem to have developed vastly increased intelligence, telepathic powers that allowed them to stun large numbers of their prey at … Continue reading Lucy Gets A Hamburger!
The Astounding Adventures Of Doctor Tempest In The Land Of The Mammoths
... from the February, 1888 issue The Doclopedia #547 The Colors: Grey The Grey Army of Baron Drogarsky made it's first move for domination of Europe in the spring of 1892, using armored troops riding on the massive Steam Powered Walkers and the giant Trackless Locomotives. The latter were particularly horrifying, since they both looked … Continue reading The Astounding Adventures Of Doctor Tempest In The Land Of The Mammoths
The Funky Chickens Go To Hollywood
...where the refused roles in "Battleship" The Doclopedia #545 The Colors: Purple The Purple Woman is one of the most intriguing things in all of paranormal research. The way she can fade into and out of view suggests that she might be a ghost, but her very definitely human physiology suggests that she might … Continue reading The Funky Chickens Go To Hollywood
Never Hand A Monkey To A Drunk
...it'll piss the monkey off Woohoo! New Doclopedia theme! The Doclopedia #542 The Colors: Red Red is the fur color of the male Zertbeast, the apex predator of the great plains on the northern landmass of the planet Torsek 3. These big males weigh about 2,000 pounds and can be up to 15 feet long, … Continue reading Never Hand A Monkey To A Drunk
Duck Jackets
...for the well dressed waterfowl The Doclopedia #540 Those Furry Little Bastards!: Fantasy Version Karak, barbarian swordsman “I'll make this short, scribe, then you will leave me to my ale and foul mood. I am Karak, of the Northern Horde! My people live in a cold, rough and godless land. I slew my first opponent, … Continue reading Duck Jackets
The New England Mad Scientists Newsletter
... lots of Mad Scientists there The Doclopedia #538 Those Furry Little Bastards!: Ancient Version Sekht, Egyptian priest “Sadly, Pharaoh, I must report that work on your great pyramid has almost ground to a halt. It seems that the Pitipati have absconded with most of our slaves as we slept last night. No, we … Continue reading The New England Mad Scientists Newsletter
Chapter 202: In Which Our Hero, Stranded In Istanbul (Not Constantinople), Joins Up With A Merry Band Of Fruit Sellers.
...gotta love merry fruit sellers Introduction: In many realities, a species of creature known as the Pitipati exist. Nobody knows exactly where they come from, but they aren't a native species. They are about a foot tall, look like a cross between a kitten & a baby panda, have opposable thumbs, are quite intelligent and … Continue reading Chapter 202: In Which Our Hero, Stranded In Istanbul (Not Constantinople), Joins Up With A Merry Band Of Fruit Sellers.
Welcome To The Big Box Store
...where we sell big boxes! The Doclopedia #536 Worst. Smells. EVAR.: Were-rat Musk “Why do we charge so much more to hunt down were-rats, you ask? Well mate, there's four reasons, ain't there? Number One: They live down in the bleedin' sewers. 'Ave you ever been in the sewers, mate? It's not a stroll through … Continue reading Welcome To The Big Box Store
Never Poke A Wild Boar With A Stick
...he might just be asleep, not dead The Doclopedia #534 Worst. Smells. EVAR.: Dead Orcs To be honest, orcs don't smell all that great when they're alive, but once they die, they turn the Stink dial up to 11. It's pretty terrible. The big problem is that orcs tend to die...well, actually, get killed...in … Continue reading Never Poke A Wild Boar With A Stick
Three Girls In A Yellow Hotrod
...just looking for some trouble The Doclopedia #532 Worst. Smells. EVAR.: Demon Grease Any wizard or potionmaster on any of the magical Earths will tell you that they deal with some pretty nasty smells in the course of their work. They will also tell you that the worst smelling ingredient for a spell, potion or … Continue reading Three Girls In A Yellow Hotrod
The Rare And Beautiful Gossamer Bonobos Of Potawango Island
...they are beautiful, but fling poo. The Doclopedia #531 Women By The Numbers: 300... ...years old was the age of Preeda Ramajani when she came to the American city of Gothtropolis in search of “interesting blood”. She had heard all about the various so called “superheroes” and their villainous counterparts and she could hardly wait … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Gossamer Bonobos Of Potawango Island
Handsome Joe Goes To School For A Day
...and scores better on a test that most of the human kids The Doclopedia #529 Women By The Numbers: 64... ...pounds is how much weight Maygo Goldenflower lost during her journey to deliver an offering to the Demon of Smoke and Death. True, she had been very obese at the start, weighing nearly twice as … Continue reading Handsome Joe Goes To School For A Day
Goldfish Are $1,500.00 An Ounce?
...I may have misheard that. The Doclopedia #528 Women By The Numbers: 33... ...is the number of pounds of C-4 that Mrs. Kathy Brinswell used to blow up her husband, his favorite bar, all of his buddies and a shitload of cars, pickups and motorcycles. The official death toll was 27 people and 3 dogs. … Continue reading Goldfish Are $1,500.00 An Ounce?
My Diary: The Years Of Sin 1968-2012
...I'm pretty fond of sinning The Doclopedia #527 Women By The Numbers: 16... ...was the age at of SoVeen Prek Volunon became Empress of the 23 Worlds and Savior of the Sacred Way. Upon her ascension to the throne, she was made Commander In Chief of the 2.5 billion being strong Imperial Fleet, something she … Continue reading My Diary: The Years Of Sin 1968-2012
Hare Club For Men
...my first month, I got an albino jackrabbit! I was going to do a horror theme, but my brain would not cooperate. Instead, you get Women By The Numbers, a theme which requires me to tread very carefully. The Doclopedia #526 Women By The Numbers: 1... ...was the number of superpowers that Natalie Mardou had … Continue reading Hare Club For Men
Flash, The Imaginary Cat, Eats A Mackerel
...well, it was just sitting there So, no Doclopedia updates yesterday or today due to being busy and my brain needing a rest. I'll put some up VERY early tomorrow. In the meantime, I'll toss out the net and ask you all to post some comments suggesting new Doclopedia themes. Don't be shy … Continue reading Flash, The Imaginary Cat, Eats A Mackerel
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