…delicious fish fertilizer
CritterCon #19
Con Day One/Wedding Day
(Note: Various commentary by those other than me is in italics.)
In which we have a wedding and party, do many Song & Dance Breaks, see skateboards fly, witness magical daytime fireworks, segue into a mini-Woodstock, eat a world of food, drink strong drink, sober up and go play games, watch a whole other World Cup, and then go to a very chill party.
The Highest Points
Folks, there is no way I can do this wedding report justice AND keep it brief, so I will be assisted by other of our group.
The Wedding
Grace: It was weird and funny and lovely. Tucker was beautiful and Evan looked dashing. All the men looked pretty damned fine in their outfits. I kind of liked wearing the Indian wedding clothes. Doc did very well giving the ceremony, although very few of us understood Klingon. And don’t let him tell you he didn’t choke up twice!
Mara: Watching Himself dance his sister down the aisle was both funny and sweet. My guy is a dashing fellow anytime, but today he looked just a bit better.
Spike: I had read that a full Klingon wedding included bat’leths, but I was surprised they popped up in this hybrid ceremony. The happy couple knew what they were doing, which is good, because Mary was sure they would hurt each other.
Tucker: Son of a bitch, that was fun! I wonder if we can get married every year?
Evan: Best advice I got pre-ceremony? “Have a shot of bourbon and make sure you take a piss.”
Gabe: Hearing almost half a million gaming geeks shout “Qapla’!” at the end of the ceremony is a memory I’ll never forget.
The Party
I have partied with rednecks, college kids, bikers, Sailors & Marines, extrateresstrials, superheroes, toons, Mexican raccoons, and about 100 other groups, but all of those parties paled before this one. Fuck me sideways, it was fun!
Omar: My whole family was there and they had the time of their lives. Seeing my Auntie Gabbi dancing with several different people was alone worth the price of admission. Duke and his band got a real workout, but they were great the whole time. And holy hell, the food! I’ve never been so glad that Santa Claus can eat so much.
Avis: I want to thank Mara and Amy for the pills they gave us that help those of us of a certain age party like teens without injuring ourselves. And I got to dance with Sherlock Holmes!
Grindy: It was pretty wild watching the screens showing the people out in the “Punchbowl” dancing and partying along with those of us inside.
Cupcake: I love my family and friends and there is no place better to gather them than a party. Kudos to Grandma, Grandpa, Blue, Mara, and everyone else who put this thing together. And HUGE thanks to Mrs Hudson for getting the nursery set up so we new moms (including her) could do a bit of partying unencumbered by our little ones.
Yoyo: I FUCKING LOVE MY FAMILY! I also ate WAY too much, but damn, there was great food everywhere.
Ruzio: As a capybara, I am very family oriented and come from a huge extended family. That said, in their wildest dreams, my family could never come up with something like this! They even put in a large pool for us water loving species to relax in between Song & Dance Breaks and visits to that incredible salad bar.
Song & Dance Breaks
There were 16 of them over a 4.5 hour party. Not in order, they were…
Sing, Sing, Sing by the Benny Goodman Orchestra
All Along The Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix
New San Antonio Rose by Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys
Viva La Vida by Coldplay
Your Sister Can’t Twist (But She Can Rock And Roll) by Elton John
Whiter Shade Of Pale By Procul Harem
In The Mood by the Glenn Miller Orchestra
I Only Have Eyes For You by The Flamingos
The Time Warp from the Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack
They Can’t Take That Away From Me by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
Roll Over Beethoven by the Electric Light Orchestra
Sympathy For The Devil By The Rolling Stones
Raise Your Glass by P!nk
Yesterday by The Beatles
Waterloo Sunset by The Kinks
She Bop by Cyndi Lauper
The Incredible Skateboard Flyover
Duke: One minute after the ceremony ended with a humongous “Qapla’”, the portal opened up and not 300, but 500 skateboarders flew not 500, but 900 feet through the air while doing stunts like handstands, dance moves, and even jumping from board to board. During all of it, fireworks drones spelled out congratulations to the newlyweds. It was fucking incredible and my older brother (and 499 other boarders of 16 species) is batshit crazy.
Spotsy: WOW! Uncle Yo and Auntie Grins and their friends are crazy!
Luna: That was incredible! And totally nuts. I thought Momsy’s eyes were going to pop out.
Gabe: Holy shit!
Brian: I would say that I’ve now seen everything, but I know the Cross family too well.
Magical Fireworks And A Segue For The Ages
The party had about 30 minutes to go when our resident wizards, Grace and Luna, apparated out to the center of the big “Punchbowl” clearing, cleared everyone back for about 100 feet, then started up a magical fireworks display that was absolutely amazing.
But it gets better! 10 minutes into it, a rotating stage appeared and I heard Blue saying…
Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Welcome to Mini-Woodstock 2026! Opening our show are TITANIUM DOG!”
And the crowd went wild. I’ll note that Titanium Dog was Sasha’s favorite NHT metal band.
Other acts included Led Zeppelin, The Leghumpers, Grateful Dead, The Beatles, and Catscratch. It was a hell of a 4 hour show.
Tucker: I started crying when they played “Neuter Boy.” I remember Mom singing along with that on the radio.
Cupcake: Mom would have loved all this.
Blue: I’m pretty sure she did.
Food & Drink…So Much Food And Drink
Food? Oh hell yes! We has American standards, Asian from a dozen countries and twice that many regions, Mexican, Cuban, Brazilian, Cajun, 8 kinds of barbecue, more African dishes than you can imagine, French, Italian, Spanis, Portuguese, German…the list goes on and on. Even with Annie’s metabolic enhancers, we all ate to much.
And I didn’t even mention the desserts.
Ginie: It was all SO GOOD!
Peter: It just went on and on. Delicious!
Omar: I think I actually found my limit on sushi.
Alex: My tummy was round like Uncle Omar’s!
And then there were the drinks. If it was any sort of drink, alcoholic or not, it was available. I may have had 3 or 6 drinks too many.
Letty: They had butterbeer! Damn, it is good.
Blue: Damn it, Grandpa, now I’m liking those dirty lemon martinis.
Grace: Non-alcoholic whiskey sours for the win!
Dr. Ellen: The watermelon and blueberry cocktails were great!
Buck: As always, Doc’s selection of stouts was on point.
I should point out that we had other substances available if guests went a different route. We blew through about 30 pounds of catnip, for example.
At Long Last, Sobriety
One advantage of having Mad Doctors in the family is that they can whip up some Soberall, give you a hit of it, and you go from drunk to sober in about 5 minutes.
Which is what happened to many of us. Of course, it does turn your pee purple for a couple of hours afterward.
There Are Games And Then There Are Games
Partied out, sober, and full bellied, we did as our gamer instincts told us and went off to the recently started convention to play games. I personally played 4 boardgames and jjoined a rotating player RPG for an hour.
But there was bigger game to be seen: The 2026 Reality Quests World Cup. It was on roughly 2,500 video screen around the area, as well as two huge screens outside. This first round had 64 teams go in and 32 come out. This year, the teams were not grouped by continent/region. They are…
Team Incredible Space Lemurs
Team Tough Girls
Team Crazy From The Heat
Team Seriously Loca
Team Falling Rocks
Team Blazing Guns
Team Mumbai Girls
Team Wind From Heaven
Team Mothra
Team Edinburgh Wrecking Crew
Team Siberian Mammoths
Team Ukraine Triumphant
Team Hawaiian Storm
Team North Island Girls
Team Girls With Cats
Team Jersey Devils
Team Crazytown
Team 9.5
Team Dominator X
Team Secret Weapon
Team Mysterious Heroes
Team Powerhouse
Team Nile Crocodiles
Team Lion Lords
Team Champions Of The Favela
Team House Of Pain
Team Death
Team Kings Of The Jungle
Team Chile 5000
Team 128
Team Fred
Team Four Bad Cats
Team Fantastic Warrior Dogs
Team Tiger One
Team Thai You Up
Team Korea Questers
Team Gojira
Team Kong
Team Norway Knights
Team Questbusters
Team Straight Outta Ireland
Team Birmingham Baddies
Team Gotham City
Team X-24
Team Edinburgh Wrecking Crew
Team Scandal At The Disco
Team Penguin Punks
Team Marsupial Mafia
Team Sydney Six
Team Demon Dolphins
Team Seal The Deal
Team South Island Boys
Team Guardians Of Guam
Team Seattlites
Team Invasive Bastards
Team Deepdish
Team Cornfield Commandos
Team Shotgun Monkeys
Team Cutie Pie
Team Asparagus
Team Pew Pew Pew
Team Power Dog
Team Rowdy Redheads
Team 69
As I write this, they’ve been at it 90 minutes in the “City Of Flaming Zombies” scenario, which morphs into the “Welcome To Cartoon Hell” scenario at the 2 hour point. After 2 hours of that one, half the teams should be eliminated.
A Relaxing Party
Well, we are back in our rooms for a bit of unwinding. At 9:00 there will be a party for about 100 old timers. It looks to be pretty chill, with soft lighting, comfy chairs, and delicious drinks. I hope I don’t fall asleep.
More constuff tomorrow.
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