...could it be her? Critter Con 15 Day 3: In which we visit a house covered in pennies, find Giant Jesus sitting down on the job, eat coyote ice cream, see literally cool wildlife, eat steak, and do some dungeon crawling. Since the trip from Holbrook to Amarillo takes almost 8 hours, we had Sweetie … Continue reading What Is That Purple Glow I See On The Horizon
Tag: humor
Uncle Doc Talks To You About Grifting The Rubes
...mostly, very wealthy rubes The Doclopedia #2,350 Stop And Think!: Before You Put On That Power Armor Look, buddy, I know you want to suit up and go fight crime and aliens and stuff, but maybe take a minute to think this through.First off, you're not Tony Stark, so you'll need to keep your identity … Continue reading Uncle Doc Talks To You About Grifting The Rubes
Watch This Space!
...just keep watching The Doclopedia #2,349 Stop And Think!: Before You Enter That Dungeon This place is called “The Dungeon of the Hungry Undead” for a reason. What the hell do you think those hungry undead eat, buttered scones? Pizza? Fish and chips?NO! They eat LIVING FLESH! You know, the stuff that you, your fellow … Continue reading Watch This Space!
Handsome Joe Eats A Pile Of Pancakes
...with syrup! The Doclopedia #1,395 The Over And The Under: Who Is Who In The Under? From Asimi Fane, an Underling: I'm not sure I know what you mean. Are you asking who tribal or village elders are? For that, you'd need to ask each tribe or village. Here in my village, my gramper is … Continue reading Handsome Joe Eats A Pile Of Pancakes
A Raccoon Named Boone Went To The Moon Last June To Sing A Looney Tune
...who knew he could croon? The Scottish Pixie Event (Note: This is not actually that strange an occurrence at our house. Additionally, for those not in the know, Daisy, Sasha, Silky, Luke & Misty are dogs. Max is a mutant rabbit and Daisy's boyfriend.) So I'm at the laundromat when I get this text... Daisy: … Continue reading A Raccoon Named Boone Went To The Moon Last June To Sing A Looney Tune
Chapter 134: In Which Our Hero, Forced To Wear A Suit Made Of Feathers, Must Free Young Kate From The French
...and she's allergic to feathers The Doclopedia #1,383 Amazing Ordinary Stuff: Cat Tree Why give your cats some plywood and shag carpet monstrosity to play/sleep on when you can give them an actual, living, cat tree? Thanks yo modern genetic manipulation, these 7 foot tall trees grow very well indoors and have plenty of wide … Continue reading Chapter 134: In Which Our Hero, Forced To Wear A Suit Made Of Feathers, Must Free Young Kate From The French
We’ve Got Minks In The Pickle Barrel!
...GODDAMNIT! A whole barrel of pickles, ruined! The Doclopedia #1,381 Amazing Ordinary Stuff: Melon Baller If you like sports, then you need a melon baller! Just place any melon into it, select the type of ball you want and press the button. In just2 to 4 minutes the outside of any melon can look like … Continue reading We’ve Got Minks In The Pickle Barrel!
The Secret Origin Of Ian Skinner!
...one of my Patreon backers! The Doclopedia #1,379 Amazing Ordinary Stuff: Ice Cream Scoop Do you love ice cream? I mean, REALLY love ice cream? Well an ice cream scoop is just what you need! This device will keep you up to date with the latest ice cream news. New flavor invented somewhere? Favorite … Continue reading The Secret Origin Of Ian Skinner!
Thuggish Prawns Humiliated My Anemone
...so I ate the little bastards The Doclopedia #1,378 Amazing Ordinary Stuff: Candles Yes, folks, these are the direct opposite of can'tdles, those great teaching devices we use on pets, children and really stupid adults. The difference is, if you light a candle for a pet or human, it will magically reinforce the thing you … Continue reading Thuggish Prawns Humiliated My Anemone
Grouchy Jackdaws Teased My Meadowlark
...until he was forced to pull a gun on them Support this blog on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/DocCross The Doclopedia #1,352 Strange Bandanas: The Donald Duck One I own hundreds of bandanas. Many of them have strange stories connected to them. Here is one… It looks like a simple white bandana with pictures of Donald … Continue reading Grouchy Jackdaws Teased My Meadowlark
The Tenderly Romantic, But Also Rather Sappy, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Sausage Factory
...co-starring her neighbor, Mister Dinwiddy The Doclopedia #1,351 Strange Bandanas: The Blue Tiger Striped One I own hundreds of bandanas. Many of them have strange stories connected to them. Here is one… While the Blue Tiger Striped bandana has no strange powers, I did get it by a rather strange turn of events. I was … Continue reading The Tenderly Romantic, But Also Rather Sappy, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Sausage Factory
Chapter 883: In Which Our Hero, Heartbroken And Drunk, Still Manages To Con Three Frenchmen Out Of 1,000 Francs.
...of course, the Frenchies were drunk, too. The Doclopedia #1,350 Strange Bandanas: The Hawaiian Print One I own hundreds of bandanas. Many of them have strange stories connected to them. Here is one… Oddly enough, I got this lovely tropical print bandana in Hawaii, on Maui. It was sold to me by a roadside … Continue reading Chapter 883: In Which Our Hero, Heartbroken And Drunk, Still Manages To Con Three Frenchmen Out Of 1,000 Francs.
The Incredible Adventures Of The Fabulous Four
...starring Daisy, Sasha, Luke & Silky The Doclopedia #1,349 Girls Just Wanna Have Guns: Lady Patience Stanton Name: Patience Amanda Catherine Stanton Age: 31 Profession: Monster Hunter Her Guns: .45 caliber pistols, sawed off shotgun, stake firing airgun Lady Patience has been hunting monsters since she was 16 years old, the same year the … Continue reading The Incredible Adventures Of The Fabulous Four
Dogs And Hogs Writing Blogs About Frogs
...often in heavy fogs The Doclopedia #1,348 Girls Just Wanna Have Guns: Sherry DiNova Name: Sherrylyn Alice DiNova Age: 29 Profession: Dispenser of Justice Her Guns: Matched pair of Sigorovich Mk X Dart Throwers In the year 2120, Earth is ruled by megacorporations, corrupt military and police, crooked politicians and the propaganda of the media. … Continue reading Dogs And Hogs Writing Blogs About Frogs
The Absolutely Crazy, Yet Still Totally Believable, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Strawberry Jam Incident
...co-starring her best old pal, Wendy Wheatgrass Hot Damn, it's more Doclopedia entries! The Doclopedia #1,350 Fun Magic Spells: The Wall of Marshmallow Spell This spell creates a wall up to 30 feet wide, 10 feet tall and 3 feet thick. As stated, the wall is made up of marshmallow. The outside is dry … Continue reading The Absolutely Crazy, Yet Still Totally Believable, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Strawberry Jam Incident
The Dancing Elks Present: Holiday Happenings On Ice
...how the hell do they dance on ice with those hooves? A very quick post, just so y'all know I'm not dead. The Doclopedia #1,348 Fun Magic Spells: The Following Fart Cloud Cast this second level spell on someone and their next fart comes out as a noxious green cloud that follows right behind … Continue reading The Dancing Elks Present: Holiday Happenings On Ice
Mr. Porkwaffle Tries To Climb A Tree
...with very humorous results CritterCon 10 Day Two So last night, after watching two movies from Earth 1-D (Fall of a Jedi Knight: A Star Wars Story and Tarzan and the Jewels of Opar), most of us sat around talking until just after one in the morning. This explains why we all slept in … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Tries To Climb A Tree
The Yellow Blouse Of Seduction
...and other stories of powerful apparel The Doclopedia #1,346 The Numbers: 520 520 miles was how far the chase by police and the FBI went in pursuit of Jimmy Ray Waller, noted bank robber, cop killer and general psychopath. He started his spree in Huntsville, Alabama, where Jimmy robbed two banks in rapid … Continue reading The Yellow Blouse Of Seduction
The Rare And Beautiful Dripping Yellow Pine Trees Of Potawango Island
...they drip flavored water Support this blog on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/DocCross The Doclopedia #1,345 The Numbers: 200 There were 200 corpses reanimated when the Russian Government set off a new form of EMP device in 1995. The test took place in Siberia and nobody much gave a thought about that old abandoned cemetery in … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Dripping Yellow Pine Trees Of Potawango Island
Junior Muskrat Buys A Snazzy New Hat
...with a feather in it The Doclopedia #1,344 The Numbers: 42 Carol Miller was 42 when she was exposed to a strange gas that gave her the power to turn totally invisible. Nothing can detect her on any level, including sound, smell or weight. She can go anywhere she can find an open door or … Continue reading Junior Muskrat Buys A Snazzy New Hat
Scornful Titmice Chastised My Otter
...not that he really gave a fuck, because otter. The Doclopedia #1,343 The Numbers: 15 15 years is the travel time, even using a Jump 7 Drive, to Yadoris 4, the outermost world of the Terran Empire. Few ships make the trip, which was initially done by the Independent Colony Ship “Maggie's Mob”. The crew … Continue reading Scornful Titmice Chastised My Otter
The Very Scary, But Delightfully Goofy, Story of Mostly Purple Patty And The Cat Who Thought He Was A Rabbit
...featuring Zelda, the very confused kitty Holy Frijoles, it's a brand new Doclopedia entry! (Note: Patreon backers get to see the next two early. Click the link below and you can, too.) Support this blog on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/DocCross The Doclopedia #1,342 The Numbers: 6 The walled town of G'Tain has been attacked 6 times … Continue reading The Very Scary, But Delightfully Goofy, Story of Mostly Purple Patty And The Cat Who Thought He Was A Rabbit
The “Holy Shit, We Nearly Missed Posting In June” Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Singing Echidna
...co-starring her second cousin, Clarence Philpot How I Spent Christmas Eve, 2015 (A series of tweets) Santa Claus just called and said he is gonna stop by for a quick visit. Cool! Oh fucking swell! Santa just showed up and he's shitfaced. I told him to just drink milk, not scotch! AIIIEEE!!! He's pissing … Continue reading The “Holy Shit, We Nearly Missed Posting In June” Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Singing Echidna
Mr. Porkwaffle Creates Art
...quite by accident HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! As a gift to all you mothers out there, here are TWO Doclopedia entries! The Doclopedia #1,340 Enchanted Household Items: Recliner Of Astral Travel You remember how Doctor Strange can cause his astral form to leave his physical body and move around all over, including … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Creates Art
Spanky The Wonder Squirrel
...don't ask how he got his nickname. Support this blog on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/DocCross A Note From Your Humble Narrator As you might have noticed, posts to this blog have been rather scarce these last couple of months. That's because my shitty day job, for which I have to wake up at 4 … Continue reading Spanky The Wonder Squirrel
