...the cat had a car waiting The Doclopedia #2,531 You Name It D10 Tables: Places 1: Eugene, Oregon 2: Nice, France3: Hong Kong, China 4: Katy, Texas 5: Aberdeen, Scotland 6: Los Mochis, Mexico 7: Dakar, Senegal 8: Tartu, Estonia 9: Birdsville, Australia 10: Cambria, California
Month: October 2022
We Do Not Do Deliveries!
...unless they total over $500,000.00 The Doclopedia #2,530 You Name It D10 Tables: Body Parts 1: Left arm 2: Kidneys3: Head 4: Right foot 5: Tongue 6: Left leg 7: Right ear 8: Heart 9: Butt 10: Both pinky fingers
Red Metal Baby Toy In Space
...it's been a long time coming The Doclopedia #2,529 You Name It D10 Tables: Common Items 1: Roll of toilet paper 2: Box of cereal3: Screwdriver, flathead 4: Small purse 5: Pair of socks, men's size 10 6: Bag of potato chips 7: Small flashlight 8: Wool hat 9: Light bulb, 60 watt 10: Road … Continue reading Red Metal Baby Toy In Space
Oh Hell No! The Salad Pixies Are Drunk!
...they've been at the sherry, Martha The Doclopedia #2,528 You Name It D10 Tables: WTF? 1: Chicken wearing a top hat 2: Transmission from a 1950 pickup3: Six slick sticks 4: A bowl of cat food 5: Your mom 6: Small bag of thimbles 7: One pink sneaker 8: Three ounces of olive oil 9: … Continue reading Oh Hell No! The Salad Pixies Are Drunk!
Teasing The Foot Biters
...using big fake feet The Doclopedia #2,527 You Name It D10 Tables: Booze 1: Vodka 2: Beer3: Wine, white 4: Bourbon 5: Wine, red 6: Rum, dark 7: Scotch 8: Gin 9: Tequila 10: Stout
8 Samosas And A Glass Of Tea
...YUM! The Doclopedia #2,526 You Name It D10 Tables: Birds 1: Bush tit 2: Albatross3: California valley quail 4: Magpie 5: Palm Cockatoo 6: Cassowary 7: Night heron 8: Pekin duck 9: Owl 10: Hummingbird
Is This The Seal Life?
...is this just family? The Doclopedia #2,525 You Name It D10 Tables: Food 1: Chili, no beans 2: Blueberry muffin3: Clams, fried 4: Pickled beets 5: Watermelon 6: Cheeseburger 7: Hot dish 8: Biscuits & gravy 9: Potato chips, barbecue 10: Slice of whole wheat bread
Building The Zeppicopter
...narrated by Sir Dorfner Twadloo The Doclopedia #2,524 In Case Of Emergency: Activate This Device INSTRUCTIONS: You are about to activate a sub-quantum disruptor. This will cause everything for 2,000 meters around it to become dislocated from our reality while also interacting with up to 300 other realities. The effects are truly terrifying and may … Continue reading Building The Zeppicopter
The Dancing Elks In “Las Vegas Holiday”
...from Big Damn Pictures, 1944 The Doclopedia #2,523 In Case Of Emergency: Put On This Ring Yes, my friend, in an emergency, this ring can save your life, for it allows you to teleport to any spot on the planet that you can see or picture in your mind. Why, the great wizard Varil Veedo … Continue reading The Dancing Elks In “Las Vegas Holiday”
Is This The Way To The Stargate?
...I sure hope so The Doclopedia #2,522 In Case Of Emergency: Read This Out Loud If you are reading this, Young Servitor, you are probably being beset by hordes of the Unenlightened, most likely Cezzliks. While the Blessings of the Great Gooey God are with you always, reading the following will prove very effective in … Continue reading Is This The Way To The Stargate?
We Never Did Find Hector’s Underwear
...I think a squirrel stole them The Doclopedia #2,521 In Case Of Emergency: Eat This Cookie Greetings from Z Branch, 003. No doubt you are in quite a fix just now, so do read these instructions carefully.This cookie contains a highly effective compound that we were able to extract from a mutant fellow from Canada. … Continue reading We Never Did Find Hector’s Underwear
Spontaneous Digestion
...much more frightening than combustion The Doclopedia #2,520 In Case Of Emergency: Pour This On The Floor Okay, so we'll assume you are being chased through a building and it's not looking good. Well, as long as whomever or whatever is chasing you is not flying, this potion should help you. Just pour it on … Continue reading Spontaneous Digestion
Adventure S-1: Rescue Of The Goblin Princess
...for levels 3-5 The Doclopedia #2,519 In Case Of Emergency: Throw This Grenade Soldier, in your hand you now hold a VDD 315 Mark 5 Extreme Destruction Grenade, commonly referred to as a “Hellblaster”. Once you have pulled the pin, you must throw the grenade a minimum of 80 feet away from you, then immediately … Continue reading Adventure S-1: Rescue Of The Goblin Princess
Pudgy McFudgy And The Magic Plate
...a story for dull children The Doclopedia #2,518 In Case Of Emergency: Drink This Potion Good Sir, Madame, or Other: Despite the no doubt perilous nature of your emergency, please read the following before drinking this potion. If your answer to one or more is yes, then proceed to drinking it.1: Are you in a … Continue reading Pudgy McFudgy And The Magic Plate
A Sandwich Of The Highest Order
...and toasted, to boot The Doclopedia #2,517 It's All Fun & Games Until...: Aliens Eat Peaches No, Excellency, it was nothing the Terrans did. They were most gracious hosts. No, the fault lies in our food testing devices. They worked perfectly well in detecting things that would harm us in all of the expected ways, … Continue reading A Sandwich Of The Highest Order
Yoyo Cross And The Very Fancy Skateboard
...it cost $700.00 The Doclopedia #2,516 It's All Fun & Games Until...: You Wake Up In The Wrong Body Here you go, Kelly. Have a drink of water. No, no, please don't scream again! I swear, it's me, Hannah. No, really. Look, okay, I know this is way WAY strange, since I'm now in the … Continue reading Yoyo Cross And The Very Fancy Skateboard
This Episode Brought To You By Tastee Soap
...the soap that tastes like a meal The Doclopedia #2,515 It's All Fun & Games Until...: The Bomb Doesn't Go Off Why didn't the bomb go off, Henri? The bomb was supposed to distract them so we could have a smooth getaway! Now we've got about 50 fucking commie special forces assholes shooting at us, … Continue reading This Episode Brought To You By Tastee Soap
Truck Fump
...hard The Doclopedia #2,514 It's All Fun & Games Until...: Your Dad Sees The Bill So, this is my life now. Yard work in the front yard, back yard, both side yards, wash Dad & Mom's cars, clean out and organize the garage, wash dinner dishes, babysit my youngest sibs, and whatever else Dad tells … Continue reading Truck Fump
I Got Them Old Green Blues
...not the old blue greens The Doclopedia #2,513 It's All Fun & Games Until...: You Piss Off The Mountain Goats No, grandmother, we did not get up to the top of Ka'tchana. We almost got there, but then we encountered several mountain goats. We thought to just go far around them, but Otanta said that … Continue reading I Got Them Old Green Blues
Chapter 63: In Which Little Sally, Ned The Cat, And Two Drunken Nuns Save Our Hero From Certain Doom
...it was sacramental wine what got the nuns plastered The Doclopedia #2,512 It's All Fun & Games Until...: The Car Transforms No, Nick, I'm telling you, THE CAR TRANSFORMED INTO A ROBOT! Yes, a fuckin' robot! 15 feet tall and weird looking and PACKING MAJOR HEAT, NICK! So yeah, me and the guys ran like … Continue reading Chapter 63: In Which Little Sally, Ned The Cat, And Two Drunken Nuns Save Our Hero From Certain Doom
A Very Cool Move
...and totally unexpected The Doclopedia #2,511 It's All Fun & Games Until...: The Cats Go Crazy It was the cats, officer. They went insane. Yes, at least 30 of them. Yes, old Mrs. Flagler has 9 that live in her house, bit she feeds at least two dozen feral cats, too. Like I told your … Continue reading A Very Cool Move
Keep The Dice God Happy
...or you'll always roll fumbles The Doclopedia #2,510 Assorted Non-Player Characters: “Pigs” Valente Edward “Pigs” Valente, is a mid level mob guy in Las Vegas. He got his nickname early on by investing in his cousin Richie's hog farm. That investment earned him a couple of million bucks, so nobody teases him anymore.Pigs is the … Continue reading Keep The Dice God Happy
Please Insert Your Card
...no, not there The Doclopedia #2,59 Assorted Non-Player Characters: Fancy Fancy Jodao is a white female Persian cat that shares a home with the Jodao family in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. She is 4 years old, has blue eyes and is quite spoiled by her humans.She's also one of the top field agents fot the … Continue reading Please Insert Your Card
The Candy Gnomes Are Getting Too Old For This Shit.
...really, they are The Doclopedia #2,508 Assorted Non-Player Characters: Fazil Al Wazid If you are a tired and hungry traveler, the tents of Wazid are always open to you, assuming you have but the smallest amount of coin, of course.Located at the large Oasis of the Two Serpents, this comfortable waystation can offer clean beds, … Continue reading The Candy Gnomes Are Getting Too Old For This Shit.
We Buy Used Cryptids!
...if they are in good condition The Doclopedia #2,507 Assorted Non-Player Characters: Asmarak Quaseel Fenlod Asmarak is a busy woman, so you'd better damned well know what you want when you walk into her body modification salon on Turmoris 3. You probably also want to have a good chunk of money at your disposal, because … Continue reading We Buy Used Cryptids!
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