...don't. just don't. The Doclopedia #3,263 This Is For You: The Proper Potion “Yes, yes, I made a mistake with the last potion. I'm sorry. It would seem my apprentice put the Potion of Great Leaping into the bottle meant for the Potion of Ethereal Form. At least you weren't hurt too badly from running … Continue reading Uncle Doc Talks To You About Tolerating Idiots →

...it's hard to explain The Doclopedia #3,262 This Is For You: Dynamite “Okay, the first rule of dynamite is get the fuck away from it before it blows up. Far away. You two need to come back in one piece. I'm not worried about Amy. The second rule of dynamite is to keep one stick … Continue reading Positively Negative →

...might as well do it elegantly The Doclopedia #3,261 This Is For You: An Old Map “Here ya go, Captain. This is the map them Johnny Rebs was tryin' to take to that son of a bitch Coldwell. I don't know a damn thing about old stuff like this, but that notation up top says … Continue reading Swan Diving Into The Shenanigans Pond →

...yuck The Doclopedia #3,260 This Is For You: The Big Score “Look, Professor, the Kid and I wouldn't normally get you involved this deep, but you know who we need to get these to and you can deal with them better than anyone else. Yeah, that's a shitload of uncut diamonds alright. Now, look, the … Continue reading Ewok Earwax →

....OW! The Doclopedia #3,259 This Is For You: An Axe “I regret that you must undertake the Palath Saa, Terran, but it is the only way our leaders will accept that your species is worthy of negotiating with. This axe will be your only weapon, unless you find others among the remains of failed warriors. … Continue reading Like A Spork In The Eye →

...we were rooting out commies The Doclopedia #3,258 This Is For You: $300.00 “Well, your mother is sitting in the kitchen, mad as a wet hen, so she's not coming out to say goodbye. Oh, yeah, she'll be okay in a day or two. Remember how mad she was when Cori joined the Army? She … Continue reading I Was A 55 Gallon Trash Can For the FBI →

...posing properly The Doclopedia #3,257 This Is For You: A Magic Feather “Listen to me. You need to leave now! Father will be here to haul you down to the dungeon soon. Your hired man told him the truth about you and he can't let you get back to the Council of Kings with what … Continue reading Puzzled Pugs →

...cherry tomatoes, at that The Doclopedia #3,256 This Is For You: A Gold Coin “Here, take this. You'll need it to get into Vardo's secret casino. Just dress to the nines, put Edie on your arm and hand this coin to the guy sitting next to the out of order elevator in the Venus Arms … Continue reading Nasty Tomatoes Insulted My Watermelons →