...Duke stole his toy And we finish up another go at the alphabet! The Doclopedia #2,744 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Zero This is how many valuable lessons the average RPG Player Character and Player learn in any given adventure or campaign. GM's will be conflicted by this. On the one hand, they know you'll fall for … Continue reading Yoyo Investigates A Crime →

...the Chicago type The Doclopedia #2,743The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Yellow Snow Don't eat it or fall into it. Don't you listen to Frank Zappa? Oh, and if that area of yellow snow is more than a few inches across, be on your guard. If it's several feet across, just start running.

...goddamnit, autocorrect! The Doclopedia #2,742 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: X Marks The Spot Yeah, it marks the spot on a map that promises fortune and glory, but when you get there, the GM will be laughing as she runs you through a gauntlet of terror and serious injury. Also, there is never an actual X showing … Continue reading Just Ducking Around →

...undersea treasure The Doclopedia #2,741 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Werecreatures RPG monster books are full of all sorts of werecreatures, from werewolves to weretigers to wererats. They are popular foes to go up against in a fight, provided you don't get bitten by one and take on the curse.It should be noted that GMs will also … Continue reading Octopuses Guardin’ →

...starring hairless animals The Doclopedia #2,740 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Vacant Villages Are you REALLY just going to enter a village that is devoid of inhabitants? Are you crazy? It doesn't matter if the place has been deserted for 200 years or if everyone disappeared 15 minutes before you got there. Vacant villages are the sort … Continue reading Fast And Furless →

...no thanks The Doclopedia #2,739 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Unknown Dangers Some dangers are a given, like going into dungeons, or facing a horde of pissed off goblins, or whacking a sleeping owlbear with a stick. But your GM's job is to also set up unknown dangers, such as mislabeled potions, or various cunning traps, or … Continue reading Half A Glass Of Rat Milk →

...for characters Level 5-8 The Doclopedia #2,738 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Trees Some trees will grab you and eat you. Some trees will befriend you. Others will be home to various members of the fae. And, of course, some trees are just ordinary trees. This last kind are the ones you'll burn down when you accidentally … Continue reading Module L-1: The Black Heart Of Death →

...from the November 1996 issue The Doclopedia #2,737 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Strange Music While this could just indicate that your GM has odd tastes in background music, most likely, it means weird shit is about to happen.It could just be musical orcs getting ready to attack, but it could also mean that your PCs are … Continue reading Doc Tempest: Be Seeing You →

...do NOT go there The Doclopedia #2,736 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Rats Rats are common in fantasy RPGs. A dozen 10 inch long rats are an easy kill and no big challenge. A dozen 10 foot long rats is another thing altogether.

...I mean the century The Doclopedia #2,735 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Quiet A place being quiet may or may not be cause for alarm. A place being TOO quiet, is almost always cause for alarm. A GM going quiet and smiling is absolutely cause for alarm.

...they liked it The Doclopedia #2,734 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Peril RPG adventures can be filled with all sorts of perils as you go through them. They can be quite thrilling to overcome.RPG players can also face peril by never bringing snacks or by touching somebody else's dice.

...obviously, you did not take a microdose The Doclopedia #2,733 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Overthinking Very often, this is a thing that players will do during a game. Sometimes, it's useful, but most of the time it just turns a 4 hour game into a 6 hour game because you are trying to find out why … Continue reading Dogs Wearing Hats, Cats Riding Bikes, Bunnies Selling Candy →

...in a conga line The Doclopedia #2,732 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: No This is a word you will often hear your GM saying after you do something or say something that totally trashes their scenario/game world/last bit of sanity. Often, this is said as they weep and/or reach for hard liquor.

...at a casual walk, but still... The Doclopedia #2,731 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Magic Items When it comes to magic items, they are usually either very powerful with few charges, not to powerful with plenty of charges, or somewhere in between and cursed. Sorry, but we don't write the rules.

...a Roger Corman film The Doclopedia #2,730 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Little People Halflings, brownies, pixies, fairies, there are lots of little people out there. Halflings are nice enough and serve some great food & drink. Other little people may be helpful, or they might be pranksters, or they might just be a pain in the … Continue reading F, The Creature Out of Time →

...the sheep call him a baaaadass The Doclopedia #2,729 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Kings Kings come in three flavors: Kindly, despotic, and a puppet controlled by some evil asshole. The first two can be fine to work for, depending upon whether you are noble problems solvers or amoral murder hobos. The puppet kings are best avoided, … Continue reading Bold Moooves, Mr. Bull →

...co-starring her pet reindeer, Bing The Doclopedia #2,727 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Idiots NPCs you meet that won't help you or give you information? They're idiots. Dimwitted monsters? Also idiots. Town guards, minor castle functionaries, people you cheat out of whatever? Idiots!You, every time the GM asks you “Are you sure?” and you go ahead? Idiots.

...hard to find The Doclopedia #2,726 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Hauling Ass Something you should do when the odds are against you, but probably won't. This could make your GM laugh, cry, pour another drink, or all three.

...who knows where The Doclopedia #2,725 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Gold A wonderful substance that you'll either have too much of, or too little of. If the former, trust the GM to make sure you get rid of it by buying things. If the latter, the GM will offer up dangerous ways to earn more.

...we favor no pants The Doclopedia #2,724 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Fireball DO NOT CAST THIS WHEN YOU ARE ALL IN A SMALL SPACE!Go back and read that again.Again.Now remember it and maybe the other players will never hate you.

...try again next month The Doclopedia #2,723 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Enemies In Disguise You'll meet these folks right before that dagger enters your liver, or sometimes when you wake up and find most of your stuff gone.

...in California The Doclopedia #2,722 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Dungeons Sometimes they lead to fortune and glory, sometimes to death, sometimes to deeper and far worse places. They can also lead to player tears and GM laughter, or vice versa.

...didn't Elton John do that one? The Doclopedia #2,721 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Carnivorous Plants Not those little Venus Flytraps or Sundews you might be thinking of. Oh, no, these could be trees that snatch you up and bite off a leg, or vampire grass, or vines that entangle and devour. Might be a good idea … Continue reading All The Young Gorillas Love Alice →

...we do the tap The Doclopedia #2,720 The Roleplayer's Alphabet: Blademaster A person you fighters might hope to become, but more likely, the guy you'll meet who kicks your asses in a sword fight. You might try just buying him off not to kill you.