...for characters level 6-9 The Doclopedia #2,594 A Few New Monsters: Trader Gnome Nobody knows where Trader Gnomes came from, not ever ordinary gnomes. The first reported interaction with one took place 460 years ago, during the Year of the Green Moon. At that time, the legendary adventurer Helanis of Povia met one just before … Continue reading Module S-55: The Trail Through The Devilwood
Month: December 2022
Suddenly, Possums!
...about 30 of them The Doclopedia #2,593 A Few New Monsters: Treasure Monkeys Treasure monkeys are not, per se, monsters. They are just naturally occurring animals they really like shiny objects or anything interesting looking. About the size of raccoons, they live in very large family groups of up to 60 individuals. Mostly found in … Continue reading Suddenly, Possums!
Drink The Potion BEFORE The Fight!
...you dummy ... The Doclopedia #2,592 A Few New Monsters: Waterball Waterballs are a form of water elemental that has a spherical shape and can leave a body of water, roll for many miles, and then enter another body of water. As they roll along, they will sometimes engulf a creature and drown it. The … Continue reading Drink The Potion BEFORE The Fight!
Handsome Joe Has A Nice Dream
...it involved bellyrubs The Doclopedia #2,591 A Few New Monsters: Mana Vampire These highly specialized vampires subsist on the mana, or magical energy, of humanoids who use or cast spells. Losing mana won't kill anyone, but spellcasters who lose enough of it may not be able to cast spells for weeks.Mana vampires are undead, but … Continue reading Handsome Joe Has A Nice Dream
A New Stinky Cheese
...tasty, but smells like feet and goats The Doclopedia #2,590 A Few New Monsters: Carnivorous Mice Carnivorous mice resemble normal field mich, but are slightly larger and lighter in color. They also have very sharp teeth and large eyes that give them excellent night vision. Both the teeth and the eyes are important because these … Continue reading A New Stinky Cheese
Yoyo Goes To The Races
...snowboard races The Doclopedia #2,589 A Few New Monsters: Mimic Slimes This is a new form of slime with the shapeshifting abilities of a mimic. It is unknown if they simply evolved this ability, got it from eating a mimic, or are the results of some wizardly experiment.Whatever the case, these creatures can form themselves … Continue reading Yoyo Goes To The Races
A Golden Score
...about 50 pounds of it The Doclopedia #2,586 Old Posts, Annotated: It’s In The Bag! Notations are italicized The Brown Paper Bag “Now listen, Eddie, cos this is real simple. (It's never real simple.) You an’ Tony are gonna get in his car and drive out to Long Island to the address I give you. … Continue reading A Golden Score
The Rare And Beautiful Fast Flying Leaf Birds Of Potawango Island
...they really do look like leaves The Doclopedia #2,585 Old Posts, Annotated: Top Ten Lists! Notations are italicized Bad New Product Ideas 10: Vegetable Goo In A Can (Tastes exactly like you think it wouls.) 9: Artificial Rutabaga Flavored Whipped Topping (Proof that Satan exists.) 8: Ultra Thin Toilet Paper (No. Just no.) 7: Frozen … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Fast Flying Leaf Birds Of Potawango Island
Blue Johnny Sang His Song
...he sang it to the cops The Doclopedia #2,584 Old Posts, Annotated: The Stuff That’s Made Of Dreams Notations are italicized Wonder Dust From a lecture given by High Wizard Prelby Smatterkin at the Royal School of Wizardry (Who is kind of an old goofball.) “Now it is at about this time in the lecture … Continue reading Blue Johnny Sang His Song
Hamster Hoedown!
...yee haw! The Doclopedia #2,583 Old Posts, Annotated: A New Breed Of DogNotations are italicized Northern Squirrel Dog In many parts of Canada, hunting squirrels is a popular pastime with rural folks. (Along with drinking heavily, watching hockey, and trying to imitate US nitwits.) That’s why, sometime around 1890, a group of hunters started looking … Continue reading Hamster Hoedown!
Will YOU Be The Next Victim?
...maybe, maybe not The Doclopedia #2,582 Old Posts, Annotated: The Undead Notations are italicized. Ragnar, The Ultimate Skeleton Ragnar was the most feared of all the Howling Horde. (And that's saying something, because that whole horde is big and batshit crazy.) He stood 7’3″ tall, was as strong as any 3 normal men and feared … Continue reading Will YOU Be The Next Victim?
The Yellow Mystic
...not as mystical as you might think, really The Doclopedia #2,581 Old Posts, Annotated: More Assorted Books Notations are italicized. How To Build A Robot Army First off, I give Dr. Angelo Crimari (Class of 1974, Frankenstein Academy) top marks for stating right up front that building a robot army is not cheap. (Average cost … Continue reading The Yellow Mystic
Adventures In The Garden
...if you have a low bar set for "adventure" The Doclopedia #2,580 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Big ChaseThis is the part where I describe the ensuing chase and my escape from Texas.We start heading west, but the freeway is too full of traffic and we can see red lights in the … Continue reading Adventures In The Garden
Not In This Issue: Lemon Curd, Shopping Tips, And Preserving The Patriarchy
...sucks about the lemon curd The Doclopedia #2,587 Old Posts, Annotated: Stuff In My Pockets Notations are italicized A Small Dog Biscuit This is a gourmet dog biscuit, one of 30 baked for Sasha (2012-2022 A great dog and renowned Mad Scientist.) back in 1920 by none other than Georges Auguste Escoffier. When you have … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Lemon Curd, Shopping Tips, And Preserving The Patriarchy
RPG Card Game: The Boardgame
...I have no idea The Doclopedia #2,579 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Football Game Diary, we call her “Hurricane” Pansy because despite having a heart of gold, everything she does leaves chaos and destruction in her wake. Also, she's a bit crazier than is average for the Cross clan.Which is why we … Continue reading RPG Card Game: The Boardgame
Probable Claws
...arrest that cat The Doclopedia #2,578 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Governor's Rally Amarillo, TexasDiary, my life just keeps getting better and better.We get to Amarillo about 3:45, and there are streets blocked off and people all over because the fucking governor is having a campaign rally. Davey drops me off and … Continue reading Probable Claws
Superduck!
...the duck of steel The Doclopedia #2,577 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Stampede Lubbock, Texas Short and sweet this time.Train stopped at Abilene around 3:00 pm. Another rail rider told me that from here, it would be non-stop to Nebraska. I got off.Slept from 7:00 pm until two hours before sunrise in … Continue reading Superduck!
Having A Positive Altitude
...mine is around 14,000 feet The Doclopedia #2,576 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Historical Monument Fredericksburg, Texas Got here about 11:00 am. Was running low on funds, so ran the old “hey, you want to buy a couple of pounds of great weed” scam on not one, but two groups of local … Continue reading Having A Positive Altitude
Selected For Your Pleasure
...or not, we don't care The Doclopedia #2,575 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Congressman's Daughter Austin, Texas Diary, a lot of shit has happened in the last couple of days, so I'm going to just hit the highlights.After evading two carloads of football players and a police car outside Mount Pleasant, I … Continue reading Selected For Your Pleasure
The Adventure Of The Sober Scotsman
...one of Sherlock Holmes trickiest cases The Doclopedia #2,574 Why I Can't Go To Texas Anymore...: The Visit With Grandma Mount Pleasant, TexasWell, diary, my very pleasant week of visiting my grandparents here in this part of Texas has come to an abrupt end. It seems that the young lady that I dallied with on … Continue reading The Adventure Of The Sober Scotsman
I Need Cheese
...a nice camembert will do The Doclopedia #2,573 Are You Kidding Me?: About The Money FAKE? COUNTERFEIT? ALL OF IT? This is a nightmare. We're on the hook for 50% of that five million. Crocetti is not going to just let us walk away from this. Jesus, we're dead. We can't even pass it, because … Continue reading I Need Cheese
Flower Orcs
...much nicer than the other orcs The Doclopedia #2,572 Are You Kidding Me?: With This Dog You're kidding me, right? If I marry you, the dog comes with you? Annika, that dog is ugly, stupid, and if he moved any less, you could just swap him out for a stuffed toy dog. He's like, 60 … Continue reading Flower Orcs
A Foolish Bit Of Frippery
...or a frippy bit of foolishness The Doclopedia #2,571 Are You Kidding Me?: About What Happened Last Night Oh no, Glynis, please tell me things didn't happen the way I sort of remember them. Tell me I didn't make a complete fool of myself at Tony's wedding. Oh no! The whole bottle? Dancing on a … Continue reading A Foolish Bit Of Frippery
Drums For Bums
...and I don't mean butts The Doclopedia #2,570 Are You Kidding Me?: Again, Chan No, Chan, I'm not believing a word you say. I know when I'm being told bullshit. You are not kidding me. And really, couldn't you come up with a better story? I mean, dead people walking around, killing the living? That's … Continue reading Drums For Bums
Episode #76: The Big Feel Up
...rated PG The Doclopedia #2,569 Are You Kidding Me?: With That Outfit No, really, dude, you look like an idiot. I don't care if it's what Grandpa wore to the high society parties, it makes you look like some doofus out of a silent movie. Everyone is going to laugh at you. I'll be embarrassed … Continue reading Episode #76: The Big Feel Up
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