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The Doclopedia #2,575

Why I Can’t Go To Texas Anymore…: The Congressman’s Daughter

Austin, Texas

Diary, a lot of shit has happened in the last couple of days, so I’m going to just hit the highlights.

After evading two carloads of football players and a police car outside Mount Pleasant, I managed to get to Pam & Lisa’s place around 5 in the morning. Slept for 9 hours, woke up to a new shirt, a hot meal, and two lesbians ready to cut and dye my hair, “just to be safe”.

During the cut & dye, saw a news report of a “suspicious motorcyclist” who caused a three car accident a few miles south of Mount Pleasant. No mention of drunken rednecks driving those cars.

My hair now shorter and back to red from the bleached blond it had been, I took my hostesses to dinner and promised them when they move to San Francisco next year, I’ll throw them a party.

Left Rockwall on Wednesday morning, headed to Austin with Lisa’s brother, Matt. He was hauling a load of frozen chickens. We chatted most of the way about James Bond movies.

Rolled into Austin around noon, thanked Matt and slipped him a tenner. Called up Elena and we made plans to go out to dinner and then hang out.

Hung out for the day, until that night, when shit went crazy again. I’m on a corner near a couple of bars, waiting for Elena’s cousin Ray to give me a ride to the bus station, when I hear a drunken female voice scream “That’s him! That’s the guy that left me in Central Park in my underwear back in May!” How nice to leave out the part where she got drunk, whacked out on drugs, and took off her own clothes before running out of a party where all I did was talk to her. But she’s the problem child of a United States Congressman, so they need a fall guy. I notice she’s with several good old boys and a girlfriend manages to get a pretty good photo of me before I hauls ass around the corner, run half a block and manage to dive into the backseat of Ray’s ride.

Decided to pass on the bus and instead sleep near a truck stop. Managed to get on a westbound car hauler a few minutes ago. No idea where I’ll get off.

Oh, and she identified me partly by my face and partly by the one of a kind John Lennon t-shirt I was wearing. Damn.