Chapter 202: In Which Our Hero, Stranded In Istanbul (Not Constantinople), Joins Up With A Merry Band Of Fruit Sellers.

…gotta love merry fruit sellers

Introduction: In many realities, a species of creature known as the Pitipati exist. Nobody knows exactly where they come from, but they aren’t a native species. They are about a foot tall, look like a cross between a kitten & a baby panda, have opposable thumbs, are quite intelligent and are hated by a large number of people no matter what worlds they live on.

The Doclopedia #537

 Those Furry Little Bastards!: Modern Version

 Frank Giacone, New York State Emergency Management Specialist, New York City…

 “The Pitipati? Oh fuck yes I hate those furry little bastards! Look over there, at that barricade. You know what’s on the other side? Fucking lions, tigers, bears and every other goddamn animal that used to be in the Central Park Zoo, the Bronx Zoo and about a dozen private homes and collections! And the fucking Pitipati are helping them hide! Did I mention the fact that those little fuckers also rigged that whole area with non-lethal boobytraps? Yeah, well, they sure as hell did. Christ, it may be months before that area is safe for humans again.”

 Jean Andrews, Housewife, Omaha, Nebraska…

 “Oh, good Lord, there they go again! Those creatures are so dangerous, I don’t know why the government can’t stop them. Why, just yesterday, they went in Mr. & Mrs, Mullins house while they were out shopping and they moved all of the furniture into the back yard. Even worse, they shed fur all over it and poor Mr. Mullins has allergies. And last Sunday, they turned loose about a thousand field mice over at the Episcopalian church right in the middle of the service. I just don’t know…JIMMY, DO NOT PET THAT THING! GET AWAY RIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN!”

 David Pacheco, Forest Service Ranger, Humboldt County, California…

 “To tell the truth, most of us have mixed feelings about the Pitipati. On one hand, they annoy legitimate hikers & campers, mostly by playing pranks on them. On the other hand, we’ve busted record numbers of poachers and marijuana growers after we’ve found them tied up here in the forest next to their kills or weed. The furry little guys also take pictures & videos of the crimes in progress using stolen cameras & cell phones. Really helpful, even though you might get back to your vehicle and fing it up on blocks with the tires stacked up next to it.