…damn, now I’m hungry
The Doclopedia #3,533
Mad, Bad, And Dangerous To Know: Uncle Fred
(A tip of the old bandana to Caroline King for inspiring this theme.)
So yeah, my Uncle Fred is as nutty as a squirrel’s breakfast. Mom & Dad say he’s been that way since he was a teenager. Most people were afraid of him, because he was not only inclined to be a criminal, he could get really violent. By the time he was 17, he’d killed three cops and a couple of bikers at a bar in Jersey City. He managed to escape capture and get out of town. Nobody heard from him for 4 or 5 years. Not like they wanted to.
Anyway, he pops up at my Grandfather’s funeral, looking different and telling the family he needs $3,000.00 and if they give it to him, he’ll leave and never bother them again. Well, they were all pretty afraid of him, so they got the three grand together and he took off. He was 22 and nobody in my family has had contact with him since, like, over the next 20 years.
But about 10 years ago, a bunch of guys escaped from a armored bus taking them to that supermax prison out near Waco. Bus ran over a land mine that flipped it over, then 20 armed thugs shot up the cop car escort. 14 convicts escaped, including that old inventor guy, Doctor Robotix. Cops found 10 of the guys, but Robotix was never recaptured.
But we all know what happened next. Robotix built a bunch of exoskeleton suits and five people piloted them and robbed banks, gold reserves, and tech industry warehouses. Eventually, three of the suits got disabled and the convicts inside them were dead from electrocution, because Robotix and the team leader didn’t want anyone talking.
And that team leader? My Uncle Fred. Dad identified him from about 7 seconds of video footage from the big firefight.
Three months later, a new team of three suit pilots hit a big drug cartel warehouse down in Columbia. They killed around 33 people and the government said they made off with 2.5 billion dollars.
I asked Dad if he thought Uncle Fred would take his cut and retire, but he said he doubts it.
Support this blog on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/DocCross
