…innocently, mind you
The Doclopedia #2,366
Average Joes: Joe McKenna, Security Guard
NAME: Joseph T. McKenna
AGE: 28
LOCATION: Los Angeles, California
DESCRIPTION: Joe is 5’11” tall, weighs 155 pounds and looks like a typical California surfer, which he is. He’s not married and lives in a house near the beach with 3 other surfers.
“I took this job to save up for a trip my buds and I are gonna take to Australia. Got some hella gnarly waves down there. I figure I’ll work here another three months, then head out. I won’t miss this place, either.
Why? Dude, strange shit goes on around here. Like, one night, they brought something in on a extra long trailer pulled by a hugs semi truck. Now, I don’t know for sure what was under the tarps covering it, but it sure looked like it might have been a body. I mean, the head end looked head shaped and the feet end looked feet shaped and it kinda looked like arms on the sides. Anyway, they backed it into Warehouse D over there, that really big one, then the doors shut and that was it.
Then, another time, I see about a dozen pigs come runnin’ out a door there on Warehouse A, just as a couple of the guys in white lab coats are goin’ in. I get the red light to close the gate, so I hit the button and the gates slam shut and the and the pigs and the 20 Internal Security guys all go running off in another direction. It took them almost an hour to round up all those pigs, because those porkers were smart. They were dividing into smaller groups and ambushing the I.S. guys and shit like that. Finally, a chopper flew over and gassed all of them asleep.
And that’s just like, you know, some of the strange shit I’ve seen. So yeah, even though they pay really well, I’m outta here in October.”
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