Blue Plums

…tasty, but strange looking

The Doclopedia #2,352

Stop And Think!: Before You Storm That Castle

No, really, Bartus, think about it a minute. When the sun comes up in a couple of hours, we and 8,000 other poor conscripted fools are going to run up that hill and attack that castle. Well be expected to climb up tall ladders while dodging arrow fire from both sides, huge rocks tossed by catapults and trebuchets, boiling oil of water or water mixed with shit, and who knows what else.

Then, assuming that our bloody ladders don’t get pushed over, we’ll have to fight it out with some other poor bastards on top of that wall. If our army is very, very lucky, maybe 2,000 of us will survive the day with only bad wounds and missing limbs.

I, for one, do not like those odds.

But if you and I were to walk off into the woods there for a piss, we could follow the creek down to the valley, sneak through those miles of orchards, then take the Pilgrim’s Trail to Warston. After that, we just head south to Coldira and live out our lives in peace.

So, what do you say, my friend? Go? A fine choice.