I’ll Kick The Vampire While You Pimpslap The Lich

…that plan was ill concieved

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The Doclopedia #2,075

Rocking The Steampunk: The Astounding Particle Man

Nobody knows the true identity of the Particle Man, nor do they know what sort of mad experiment caused his body to become a mass of sand grain sized particles. What we do know is that he was first sighted in Bilbao, Spain, on September 1, 1891, where he robbed three banks in one day. He was impervious to police bullets because they just passed right through him. He had accomplices waiting outside the banks to take the money and drive off in steam carriages while he held off the law. Once they were gone, he would simply slide down a storm drain like so much sand.

The Particle Man became more daring and insane as the weeks went by, robbing, assaulting and killing with impunity. The police tried everything to stop him, but nothing worked. Then the inventor Professor Cruz created a powerful wind machine that he thought might work. A trap was laid for the Particle Man in Valencia.

On the afternoon of May 3, 1892, Particle Man appeared on a long pier to steal diamonds that had been announced in the newspapers as arriving from Africa. Cruz activated his “Wind Cannons” and Particle Man was blasted into a cloud of particles and thrown high into the air, where winds from the north dispersed him even more and blew him out to sea. He was never seen or heard from again.

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The Doclopedia #2,076

Rocking The Steampunk: The Spiders From Mars

When the Martian Invasion came in 1889, the main focus was on stopping the Tripods. But up in Scotland, they had to deal with the Spiders from Mars.

These creatures were the size of a rhinoceros and could move much faster than a running man. They could lay down webbing as they ran, thus both slowing pursuit and trapping a meal. The bite of the Spiders was not venomous, but could do terrible damage. Fortunately, they were not impervious to ordinary weapons, a fact that the Scots took full advantage of.

Using everything from cannons to rifles to fire and swords, it only took the people of Scotland six weeks to kill an estimated 7,000 Spiders. Most of the Spiders were burned, but a few of the bodies were preserved for scientific study. You can see one of them in the museum at the University of Edinburgh.