...they don't bark very loudly, but they do it often. The Doclopedia #1,184 Send In The Clowns: Azgoloth, The Last Clown From the diary of Diana Turner Late Spring, 2058? Dear Diary, I don't think I'll last much longer. Haven't eaten in three days. Last night I was on the mountain top, huddled in a … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful 27 Spotted Barking Hamster Of Potawango Island
Tag: fiction
The Seasonally Cheery, Yet Really Rather Darkly Foreboding, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Strange Case Of The Reindeer’s Nose
... featuring her younger cousin, Mabel Maroon The Doclopedia #1,182 Send In The Clowns: Stabby, The Killer Clown Stabby (real name: John Stabakowski) was a deranged young man from Encino, California, who wanted nothing more in life than to be a beloved children's birthday party clown. Unfortunately, his choice of “Stabby” as a clown name, … Continue reading The Seasonally Cheery, Yet Really Rather Darkly Foreboding, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Strange Case Of The Reindeer’s Nose
Drunken Cows Abused My Eland
...and they crapped on my lawn! The Doclopedia #1,181 Send In The Clowns: Boffo, The Clockwork Clown Way back in 1870, in San Francisco, a rather mad inventor named Volmer Heely built an amazing clockwork man. The intricacy of the inner workings of his creation were decades ahead of anything else anywhere in the … Continue reading Drunken Cows Abused My Eland
The Royal Report On Dealing With Dragons
...it's only one word: DON'T! The Doclopedia #1,180 The Truth About Monsters: Ents The physical description of Ents that Professor Tolkien gave us in The Lord of the Rings is spot on. These “tree shepherds” are roughly humanoid looking trees themselves. Any sort of tree can be represented, with the deciduous species being the … Continue reading The Royal Report On Dealing With Dragons
Chapter 146: In Which Our Hero Saves A Fair Maiden From The French, Then Tosses The Evil Cardinal Off A Cliff
...sadly, God was not on the cardinal's side The Doclopedia #1,179 The Truth About Monsters: Owlbears Few monsters are as strange looking and as misunderstood as the Owlbear. It's half a ton of grizzly bear with the head of an enormous owl, walks upright and, when it can find a mate, reproduces by laying … Continue reading Chapter 146: In Which Our Hero Saves A Fair Maiden From The French, Then Tosses The Evil Cardinal Off A Cliff
Three Young Ladies In Search Of Adventure
...or cheap drinks The Doclopedia #1,178 The Truth About Monsters: Hydras Let's face it, anything with more or less than one head is scary. Something big and reptilian with SEVEN heads is pretty much guaranteed to terrify you, possibly into soiling yourself. Enter the creatures known as Hydras. They got the name from that … Continue reading Three Young Ladies In Search Of Adventure
The Girl With The Green Nipples Goes Crazy
...she may have been a bit stressed out The Doclopedia #1,176 The Truth About Monsters: Orcs The simple fact is, Orcs are mostly hard working beings who just want to live their lives with as few problems as possible. You know, just like every other sentient humanoid species with half a brain. The problem is, … Continue reading The Girl With The Green Nipples Goes Crazy
The Somewhat Rambling, Yet Aways Entertaining, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Class Trip From Hell
...co-starring her pet hyrax, Morty Ok, I know, it's been a while since I posted the last part of Sparrow, Sunny and the Return of Magic. Here is the rest of the story. WARNING! Longass post ahead! Part Three of: Sparrow, Sunny and the Return of Magic The guy was a short, balding Latino, maybe … Continue reading The Somewhat Rambling, Yet Aways Entertaining, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Class Trip From Hell
I Was There When The Hogs Ran Wild
...of course, I was an innocent bystsander Dog Con 7 Day 18: In which we deliver our friends home and then possibly initiate the end of civilization (not our world, but...) before getting back to Casa Cross. 2:30 pm We all woke up for breakfast when the bus was still 2 hours out … Continue reading I Was There When The Hogs Ran Wild
Harry Potter And The Horny Hungarian Horntail
...NOT a book for kids Dog Con 7 Day 17, Con Day 4: In which critters strut their stuff, games are purchased, games get played, seminars are attended, Daisy has a birthday, critters strut their stuff and pie gets eaten. 8:00 pm We are all on the bus and getting ready to leave … Continue reading Harry Potter And The Horny Hungarian Horntail
We Put The Art In Fart!
...but nobody appreciates us Dog Con 7 Day 16, Con Day 3: In which we see an all goat musical review, indulge in more gaming, eat more food, do more LARPing and perform our annual Old Time Radio show. 11:45 pm Another quick update of our day. Breakfast at Waffles From Outer Space. … Continue reading We Put The Art In Fart!
The Day The Newts Attacked Austin
...it barely made the nightly news Dog Con 7 Day 15, Con Day 2: In which there is gaming, seminars, mud, more gaming, food and a haunted house 10:30 pm The steampunk party last night was great, with a wonderful bunch of evil bastards present and fine music, food and drinks. Now for … Continue reading The Day The Newts Attacked Austin
The Sausage Fairies Come Out At Night
...which is good, because they're kinda strange Dog Con 7 Day 14, Con Day 1: In which we review the wedding & party, everybody just plays the hell out of games, then parties like it's 1889 8:30 pm The wedding went off perfectly, with Morris the Cat officiating. For cats, having Morris do … Continue reading The Sausage Fairies Come Out At Night
Ground Control To Major Mom
...wait, what? Dog Con 7 Day 13: In which we review the bachelor party, wake up in Critter City, grab con stuff and then take part in the best wedding of two imaginary cats that you will ever hear about. 11:00 pm Lulu here again, folks, with a rather too short bachelor party … Continue reading Ground Control To Major Mom
Mr. Porkwaffle Has A Problem with Mice
...so he tries to build a better mouse trap Dog Con 7 Day 12: In which we leave Hawaii, get back to the Southern Californian mainland, Spike & I get mocked & laughed at and we have the wildest bachelor & bachelorette parties EVER! 11:45 pm Lulu here, folks. I'll be your reporters … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Has A Problem with Mice
Gnome Or Mister Nice Guy
...see what I did there? Dog Con 7 Day 11: In which we hike in a rain forest, view an interesting collection, see the coolest Giant Jesus yet and have a birthday party. 11:30 pm We went up to the island of Kauai today and took just a hell of a hike up the … Continue reading Gnome Or Mister Nice Guy
Eating Your Way Across America!
... start with a fish taco in San Diego Dog Con 7 Day 10: In which we depart for warmer climes, view many pineapples, stand on an erupting volcano and enjoy a night on the beach. 12:45 am At 10:00 yesterday (Sunday) morning, after yet another bigass breakfast, we messed about with space … Continue reading Eating Your Way Across America!
Blue Ink Node
...nope, no clue Dog Con 7 Day 9: In which we finally see that animated Giant Jesus, Silky wins a prize, many of our party spend too much time in a book store and we visit a gold museum. Very tired after a very long day in Fairbanks, Alaska. Quick capsule reviews of the … Continue reading Blue Ink Node
The Rare And Beautiful Wandering Muskrats Of Potawango Island
...they wander about doing good deeds Dog Con 7 Day 7: In which we reach Alaska, a moose gets rescued and we have an amazingly mosquito free marshmallow roast. 8:00 pm We rolled across the border of Canada and into Alaska about 10 am this morning. Another state I can cross off my … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Wandering Muskrats Of Potawango Island
No Say Drugs Just To
...I am SOOOO stoned Yes, Gentle Readers, I'm starting another "500 Doclopedia Entries in 365 Days" death march. Tune in daily for new high strangeness. The Doclopedia #1,132 Monsters Of The Circle Sea: The Eye Beast Nobody knows where the Eye Beast came from, but it has been haunting the Circle Sea in the area … Continue reading No Say Drugs Just To
Doc Tempest: The Wall Of Voodoo
...from the May, 1999 issue The Doclopedia #1,131 Monsters Of The Circle Sea: Giant Sea Snakes If you were to sail 200 miles due south of Black Pig Island, you would find the low and swampy island cluster known as the Snake Islands. It is here that the Giant Sea Snakes come to mate, … Continue reading Doc Tempest: The Wall Of Voodoo
My Life Among The Crazy People
...AKA my friends and familyThe Doclopedia #1,127Strange Bandanas: The Purple Paisley OneI own hundreds of bandanas. Many of them have strange stories connected to them. Here is one...Oh, the stories I could tell of my faithful purple paisley bandana! There was that time, in 1964 East Berlin, when I used it to escape the hot … Continue reading My Life Among The Crazy People
Mr. Porkwaffle Joins The Circus
...as a knife thrower. Hilarity ensued. The Doclopedia #1,122Creature Features: It Came From Kansas!1959, OK StudiosStarring: Rick Munson, David Hall, Annie Early, Rhonda Patterson, Kevin Early, Joe LaswellRunning Time: 102 minutesLow budget sci-fi movie set in a small town in north central Oklahoma. Road construction in southern Kansas accidentally releases a 10 foot tall lizard man … Continue reading Mr. Porkwaffle Joins The Circus
The 87 Things That You Need To Know About Crocodiles
...#6: Never pull their tail The Doclopedia #1,121Creature Features: The Son In Law Of FrankensteinMade in 1967 for less than fifty thousand dollars, “The Son In Law of Frankenstein” was written, produced, directed and starred legendary budget movie maker SamRay Wood in the title role. Other money saving casting came in the form of Nancy Olden, … Continue reading The 87 Things That You Need To Know About Crocodiles
Not In This Issue: Cheeseburgers, Skateboards Or Vikings
...maybe next month The Doclopedia #1,120A Child's Book Of...: SurvivalFrom the introduction...Listen up, kid! This book will help you survive out in the world. It's going to be tough, but if you learn the things in this book, you'll be able to live and grow up.You've probably been given this book by a nursebot or maybe … Continue reading Not In This Issue: Cheeseburgers, Skateboards Or Vikings
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