…titmice are not mice and they have no tits
The Doclopedia #815
It’s In The Bag!: The Black Plastic Garbage Bag
“Oh my lord! Jimmy Eversol, you scared five years growth off of me! Hon, you need to cough or something when you walk up behind a person. Oh there, it’s ok. You just startled me. How are you doing today? And your mama, is she still nursing that cold? Well, you tell her I said to keep drinking lots of that lemon water.”
“Oh, why thank you, but I can handle this bag myself. Oh, no, no…well, ok then. Thank you. Uh, yes, it was pretty heavy, wasn’t it? Yes, I’d say nearly 75 pounds. Yes, I triple bagged, too. Oh, just old things from the freezer in the garage. Mostly old, umm, elk meat that Ted let get all freezer burned. No good any more. Couldn’t even get Champ to eat it. Heh heh.”
“Oh, ahh, no, Ted didn’t take his truck up to the elk lodge this year. Something was wrong with the engine and he didn’t think it could make the 400 mile trip all the way up there. He got a ride with his friend, Ollie Withers, this morning around 4:30. As always, they’ll be gone a whole week.”
“Champ? Oh, well, Ted didn’t take him this year because the poor old dog was, umm, sick from eating something. Oh, no, he’ll be ok. In fact, I’ll be leaving in a few minutes to take him to the vet. And, well, umm, then we’re going to go visit my cousin Ellie, who lives down near Provo. Haven’t seen her in a couple of years.”
“Why, of course you can ask me something, Jimmy. You go right ahead. Oh, oh, so you could hear that last night? Oh, well, Ted and I did have a little argument last night, but it was mostly just us blowing off steam about little things. We must have gotten pretty loud, eh? Oh, your window was open? Well, it was a nice night, wasn’t it? Anyway, we yelled a bit and then just stopped talking. You’ll find out how it is some day when you get married.”
“Oh, well, thank you for moving the garbage can onto the curb. I had forgotten that they started picking up early. Well, I’ve got to get going to the airpo…I mean, vet’s office. After that, Champ and I have a long way to go. You have a really good day now, Jimmy, and thank you for your help. Bye now!”
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