…he was really great
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The Doclopedia #2,129
That Time We Did That Thing: On The Mountain
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By Mark Ford
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Doc asked me to come by for a mug of his fiendishly strong tea and to “run an idea past me”. Since my liver and kidneys were in decent shape (I’m a pretty serious caffeine addict in my own right), I decided to swing on by.
“Hey, Doc! What’s this idea that we couldn’t talk about over text?”
“It’s about Sasha, and you’re going to hate it.”
That confused me. “Why on Earth would I hate helping out the smartest sentient being in this half of the multiverse, Doc?”
“Because you always hate it when I do this. Mark, go tell it on the mountain.”
For those of you that have read it, Hitchhiker’s Guide has a line about how unpleasant being drunk is to a glass of water. That feeling doesn’t hold a one kilowatt spotlight to what went galloping through my skull at that moment. It was as if an armored division, the Hounds of Hell, and a squad of dyspeptic
camels had chosen to invert, compress, and twist my consciousness into a little, tiny cube, and then jump on the cube. Memories of events I had never experienced and “someone” else had filled the resulting vacuum. I was a spectator in my own head. There didn’t seem to be much I could do except
enjoy the show.
“Strategic systems engaged, Doctor Cross.”
“Thank you, Mycroft. Your link to Sweetie is ready.”
“Thank you, Doctor. Initiating update protocol.”
The “update” was more of a psychedelic hash of multiversal information that I could only grab tiny fragments of. The who’s and what’s of the Milky Way galaxy and the associated analogs that Doc had some sort of connection to streamed through “my” head like a water fountain powered by a water
cannon on steroids. It took all of my will to shut out that deluge (an unlimited information stream would be candied crack to me!) and concentrate on what Doc and this other fella in my head were doing.
“Doctor, my host is beginning to retain some of the information flow. My presence contains a significant risk of permanent damage.”
“Let me worry about that, Mike. The reason I chose Mark is that he is just awakened enough to handle the blow-back, but not enough for uplift to the next level. If he manages to retain some of your update, even as dreams, we may be able to recruit him after all.”
“Calculations complete. Very well, Doctor. I cannot recommend being hidden here much longer.”
“Your permanent complex will be ready soon. If we don’t have proper defenses for you, the Unravelers will certainly make a try to grab you, and that would be disaster. Begin neuralization process.”
Things went black.
One hour later…
I was waking up after being mugged by the Sandman. I opened my eyes and immediately regretted it. Not a fan of red-hot needles in my eyes.
“Back among the living, I see.”, said Doc with a grin that made me think of used car dealers and casket salesmen. “You must have needed the sleep.”
“Drinking YOUR tea? If I didn’t know better I’d say that mug wasn’t just tea. I’m sticking to coffee from now on. I’m afraid that I need to cut this short. I seem to have developed a brain-flattening headache.”
“Another time, then. See you again soon, Mark!”
“Only if I can figure out how to stop the headaches I always seem to get when I come over.”
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The Doclopedia #2,130
How I Did It!: Prevented President Reagan
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While it is impossible to change history here in our reality, if you go out a bit into alternate timelines, it’s easy to change their history. Well, sometimes it’s easier than others.
Over on Earth 1-L, I decided to keep Ronald Reagan from ever becoming president, therefore preventing both Bushes and Trump from getting into office.
This was surprisingly easy. First, I went back to a few months before Reagan started getting all buddy buddy with J. Edgar Hoover and made the very much in the closet head of the FBI an offer he couldn’t refuse. Faced with being outed in glorious color and excellent sound, Hoover retired due to “health issues”. Step One, done. Ronnie was not going to be an FBI informant and student of Hoover.
The lack of Hoover as mentor might have been enough to prevent a Reagan presidency, but I decided to make sure, so I arranged for him to get a starring role in a movie. In 1948, Reagan go rave reviews and an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. More roles came his way and, instead of his film career waning in the 1950s, it was stronger than ever. So strong, in fact, that when he would have been running for governor of California, he was in Europe filming a television series about Cold War spies.
Reagan’s television career remained strong until the late 1970s. By then, the Nixon impeachment and all that was revealed during it, pretty much meant that no Republican would get elected for at least a decade. If Reagan had any ideas about running, he forgot them, switched back to being a Democrat and put more of his time and effort into producing television shows. He never held public office. Ronald Reagan died in his sleep at age 90, in 2001.
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