…watermelon, mostly
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A Short Lecture
How To Walk In The Woods
First of all, you need to ask yourself why you want to walk in the woods. Are you getting outside for some exercise? You could probably get plenty of exercise just walking around your neighborhood, especially if you live in a rougher section of town. Of course, even in a more upscale neighborhood, you can get a good workout running from dogs or people handing out religious tracts, to say nothing of avoiding some of your neighbors.
It could be that you want to walk in the woods to commune with nature. Personally, I’ve found that communing with nature often involves biting insects, poison oak or ivy, and the occasional woodland creature that makes those neighborhood dogs look like slackers. Nature is all well and good and beautiful, but decidedly safer if you watch it on television.
There is also the chance that a walk in the woods helps you to think. Just be sure that while pondering life’s big questions, or the small questions, if you are not feeling up to the big ones, you don’t find yourself pondering “Where the hell am I?” Getting lost in the woods is no fun at all, both for the reasons listed in the previous paragraph and the fact that you could make the front page of the newspaper as “Local Woodswalker Gets Lost”, which will be both embarrassing and a source of great humor once your family gets you back unharmed.
On the whole, I cannot recommend walking in the woods. What I can recommend is walking to your local drinking establishment that caters to hunters and fishermen. The walk there will be exercise, the décor will be filled with images of nature, a well poured drink will aid your thought processes, and you won’t get lost.
Good day.
The Dociverse Blog 