…well, actually, it was a bull
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A Short Lecture
How To Watch Birds
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We are told that, among hobbies, bird watching has long been among the top five. Who tells us this? Not the birds, of course, since they cannot speak English and they have no need to make a hobby of watching each other. It is experts in hobbying, no doubt, who compile such statistics.
Be that as it may, and it probably will be, bird watching is a very popular pastime. Bird watchers seem to always be excited to get out in the great outdoors so they can catch a glimpse of this year’s chickadee or a migrating grouse or perhaps a loon, although I would suggest a visit to any gathering of elected officials to see all the loons you want.
So what exactly is needed to become a successful bird watcher? I mean, other than a few birds and a desire to tramp about in the wild. Well, after several minutes of watching some of them, I’ll tell you.
First of all, you need good outdoorsy clothing and footwear. No three piece suits or evening gowns. I mean, there’s no rule to say that you can’t dress that way, but you’ll look foolish and it may frighten the birds. For that matter, it may frighten the bird watchers. No, get yourself fitted out in proper outdoor wear. And don’t forget your hat. Those appear to be required for proper avian viewing.
Next, you’ll need binoculars, preferably expensive ones so both your fellow birders, as they call themselves, and those chickadees know you mean business.
You’ll need a field guide to birds in your area, because nothing is more embarrassing to a birder than identifying a Smith’s Yellow-winged Warbler as a Jones Yellow-winged Warbler. Why, you might as well just go to a farm and watch chickens, you impostor!
Finally, you need a booklet called a “birder’s log”, so that you can record what birds you have seen where and when. This is very important because birders love to get together and read each others logs while waxing ecstatic about spotting a rare South American Coughing Duck or a Wilson’s Western Quail.
As to actually finding birds to spot, I would suggest starting out with those around your home or perhaps a nearby park. My log book shows that in my local park, I spotted 64 pigeons, 37 sparrows, 5 crows that may have been plotting a murder, and a hawk that made off with pigeon number 65.
Moving over to the pond in the park, I logger 9 seagulls, 51 ducks, two swans, and 7 geese of the species Fast Moving Foul Tempered Bastards. Those last are why I finished my bird watching day dulling the pain of goose bites with another bird, Wild Turkey.
Good day.
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