I Was A Naked Mole Rat For The CIA

…true story

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The Doclopedia #2,287

​​​People: Mr. K

When Old West trouble comes to Round Valley, Colorado, the man known only as Mr. K. rides out to stop it.

Description: Tall and lean, always has a couple days growth of whiskers, never dresses in any colors but gray & black. His hair comes down past his collar and is jet black. His eyes are dark brown. He has scars on his face, hands, and arms. Mr. K. doesn’t talk much, but when he does, his voice is always deep and calm. He rides a chestnut mare he calls Babe. His “dog”, who looks a hell of a lot like a big black wolf, is named Jack. Both animals seem a hell of a lot smarter than they should be.

History:
Before he rode into the then very small town of Round Valley, back in July of 1865 there is no record of Mr. K. When Hans Brenner at the General Store asked him his name, he just said “Call me Mr. K.”, and that’s what everyone did. He mentioned that he had a place up on Red Butte, north of town in a rough wilderness, but didn’t say any more. At the local saloon, he never drinks more than a beer, does not engage in much conversation, and does not stay long.

For a couple of months, nobody thought much about Mr. K. He had bought his supplies and gone up to the butte. Everyone figured he was another veteran of the war who wanted to be left alone. Then the Woods Gang rode into tow.

Made up of the three Woods brothers and their cousins, George and Bryce Lake, they were former Rebel soldiers who had been raising hell from their home in Alabama to Colorado. They had robbed, assaulted and murdered every step of the way and they were looking to do the same in Round Valley.

No sooner had Billy Woods announced that fact from the main street in front of the store, than a rifle bullet pretty much took his head off. The rest of the gang wheeled their horses around looking for the shooter. Adam Woods and Bryce Lake got the same treatment Billy had. Finally, the terrified Olin Woods and Will Lake saw the rifleman standing on a high boulder a good quarter of a mile outside of town. When he didn’t shoot them, they dropped their guns and got down on the ground, hands up.

As the townsfolk watched, Mr. K rode up to the two men, his rifle held across his lap, casual like.

“I left you two sons of bitches alive to carry the word that Round Valley has a protector. Now get up and look at me.”

The men did as he said, and Mr. K whispered something to them that, according to Hank Looman, who was watching from behind a wagon, made them piss themselves. Then they got on their horses and rode out of town fast, with Olin going east and Will going west.

Mr. K. tossed the sheriff a twenty dollar gold piece and said, “For clean up and burial.” Then he rode out of town.

Over the last 10 years, the town has tripled in size and many new farms and ranches have opened up. Next year, the railroad will be coming through. Nobody has come into town causing trouble in years, although several gangs and loners have been found dead miles outside of town, a few with their throats ripped out or hoof marks stomped into them. Those that were shot were all killed by a shot to the head, either from a pistol or rifle.

Mr. K. comes into town about once a month for supplies and a beer. The citizens all say hello when they meet him. He always tips his hat.

He doesn’t look to have aged a day. Neither do Babe or Jack. Nobody mentions this.