…don’t do it
The Doclopedia #2,618
My Android Staff: Alfred
Name: Alfred
Job: Second Butler
Description: Alfred looks, acts and sounds exactly like a 40 year old Vincent Price. He is the snarkiest of our staff and I love that about him. Like his namesake in the comic books and movies, he does not hesitate to give his opinion on anything.
Alfred’s array of talents seem endless. While he may not be as good a cook as the kitchen staff are, he’s no slouch. He can repair cars, operate computers, and even perform minor surgeries. When Jeeves takes time off, Alfred runs a tight ship.
In his spare time, Alfred enjoys bird watching, going to art museums, reading mysteries, and having a drink at the staff pub. He is not married, but never lacks for companionship. He has a cat named Selina and a dog named Bruce.
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