...no, really. That's just wrong. The Doclopedia #786 Guardians: The Guarding Dust of Hawking 4 182 light years from Earth lies the star Hawking A and the 7 planets that orbit it. The fourth planet, Hawking 4 (unofficially called “Rocky”), is the only one possessed of an earth-like atmosphere and ecology. As it’s common … Continue reading Don’t Go Shooting At Rosebushes
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And Now, Two Ducks In A Shopping Cart
...with funny hats! The Doclopedia #784 Scoundrels & Scalawags: Cap’n Priscilla Panther On Planet Toon, Cap’n Panther is the scourge of the 27 Seas! Along with the crew of her ship, “The Rampaging Loon”, she sails around looking for fat merchant ships to plunder. Barring that, she will plunder skinny merchant ships. She is … Continue reading And Now, Two Ducks In A Shopping Cart
The Rare And Beautiful Electrical Orange Trees Of Potawango Island
...electric oranges have powerful juice The Doclopedia #781 Scoundrels & Scalawags: The Red Feather Thief Almost nothing is known about The Red Feather Thief. Male? Female? Young? Not so young? Race? Looks? Nobody knows, except maybe the crew that works with him/her. What is known is that Red Feather has mad criminal skills, plenty … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Electrical Orange Trees Of Potawango Island
Doc Tempest VS The Ghost Pirates
...from the July, 1957 issue The Doclopedia #779 Scoundrels & Scalawags: Captain Squawky Captain Squawky is a mutant African Grey parrot who somehow absorbed the intellect of Captain Josiah Wilks…better known as Captain Satan, the most evil pirate ever to set sail. Captain Satan and Squawky were sailin' mates from a very early age, … Continue reading Doc Tempest VS The Ghost Pirates
Three Men In A Hovercraft
...to say nothing of the duck The Doclopedia #776 Direct To Video: Cthulhu Beach Party (1986) It's a 1960's style beach party movie combined with a horror movie and played for laughs! While teenage love blossoms on the beach to the sounds of surf revival bands, a group of cultists try to awaken Great … Continue reading Three Men In A Hovercraft
Toe Stretching Workout
... start with your pinky toes The Doclopedia #774 Direct To Video: Citizen Kane 2: Rosebud's Revenge (1996) In this truly wretched movie, the spirit of Charles Foster Kane inhabits a replica of his beloved childhood sled, Rosebud, and causes it to kill people in the small town or Turgid Falls, Michigan. The psycho … Continue reading Toe Stretching Workout
Never Make A Hamburger Out Of Ham
...it really freaks people out. The Doclopedia #771 Readers Secret Identities: Peter, The Aristocratic Thief (Peter Hildreth) Peter was the suave and handsome heir to wealth and privilege. His father, the Ninth Duke of Earl, was the Minister of Doing Stuff That Sounds Really Vital and his mother was born a Princess to some … Continue reading Never Make A Hamburger Out Of Ham
Why Yes, I Have Met That Friendly Reefer Man.
...decades ago. He was fun. The Doclopedia #770 Readers Secret Identities: Justin, The Smuggler (Justin Mohareb) Justin was a geek. Comic books, roleplaying games, science fiction, pulp magazines...he loved it all. Unfortunately, Justin and his geek buddies were all Canadian geeks, which meant that they had to pay a Value Added Tax on … Continue reading Why Yes, I Have Met That Friendly Reefer Man.
Chapter 691: In Which Our Hero, Posing As A Polish Philosopher, Sneaks Into A French Prison To Rescue His Father
...and then they escape into a waiting ornithopter The Doclopedia #768 Readers Secret Identities: Lisa, The Almost-Vegan (Lisa Alber) Lisa tried hard to be a good vegan, she really did. She only bought organic veggies and fruits from certified farms. She stayed away from anything that had any sort of animal content whatsoever. Her vegan … Continue reading Chapter 691: In Which Our Hero, Posing As A Polish Philosopher, Sneaks Into A French Prison To Rescue His Father
The Wickedly Funny, But Still Educational, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Pig Men From Mars
...co-starring her little brother, Outrageously Orange Oscar The Doclopedia #765 Readers Secret Identities: Ginie, The Professional Polyglot (Ginie Murphy) To be correct, Ginie is a hyperpolyglot because she speaks dozens of languages fluently. If you need somebody to speak French or Russian or Tagalog or High Elvish, Ginie is your woman. She charges … Continue reading The Wickedly Funny, But Still Educational, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Pig Men From Mars
Handsome Joe Takes A Ride On A Train
...to visit Grandma Lupe The Doclopedia #763 Readers Secret Identities: Mary, The Professional Liar (Mary Garrett) First off, Mary was not a politician. For one thing, her lies were far better crafted and told mostly to inspire people. For another, she could keep track of them. Lastly, she was not a crook or a … Continue reading Handsome Joe Takes A Ride On A Train
Attack Of The Electric Men From Pluto!
...in fantastic Electrovision! The Doclopedia #760 Readers Secret Identities: Anna, The Undecided (Anna Dobritt) The people of Earth 54 really wish Queen Anna would hurry up and decide if she wants to conquer the neighboring planet Mars or just establish some sort of trade agreement with it. She's been on the fence ever since she … Continue reading Attack Of The Electric Men From Pluto!
Yellow Goats
...and blue pigs The Doclopedia #759 Unusual Small Towns: Critter City, Texas Way back in the early decades of the 20th century, Wilted Springs, Texas, was a famous resort town that brought in people from all over the south and southwest. They would swim in the famous springs, stay at the luxury hotels and … Continue reading Yellow Goats
Chasing Pigs Down A Steep Hill On A Mudsled
...you probably had to be there The Doclopedia #757 Unusual Small Towns: Train City, Texas After the success of Spoonly, North Dakota, New Think Inc. decided to try a really innovative design for a small town: one built on a giant train. With the enthusiastic help of the Texas state government and the city … Continue reading Chasing Pigs Down A Steep Hill On A Mudsled
This Week’s Episode: Gertie Sees Nellie On The Television
...and she was wearing a red dress! The Doclopedia #756 Unusual Small Towns: Spoonly, North Dakota Spoonly, North Dakota, was the first small town renovated, enlarged and made famous by the famously off the wall multinational company known as New Think Inc. The stated company goal of New Think Inc was to “Make tons … Continue reading This Week’s Episode: Gertie Sees Nellie On The Television
Uncle Doc’s Big Book Of Cooking For Children
...but let's not tell mommy & daddy about it until AFTER we cook, ok? The Doclopedia #754 Alt. Most Wanted: Zeke Terrier Zeke is a homeless terrier mix who runs loose in Feenyville, Virginia. He has a short, wiry grey & white coat and floppy ears. Zeke weighs about 40 pounds and has a … Continue reading Uncle Doc’s Big Book Of Cooking For Children
Not In This Issue: The Color Green, Shotguns and Protoceratops
...but we do have purple, derringers and a very nice hadrosaur The Doclopedia #752 Alt. Most Wanted: Doctor Dumoire The vile miscreant known as Doctor Dumoire is wanted for crimes against humanity, unsanctioned experimentation on human beings, transplantation of human intellect into machines, criminal robotics, murder, robbery, theft, treason, inciting riots, arson, forgery, escape from … Continue reading Not In This Issue: The Color Green, Shotguns and Protoceratops
I Was An Undercover Gardener For The FBI
...i helped capture many Communist shrubs and flowers The Doclopedia #749 Alt. Most Wanted: Kookie Calabrese Calling all cars! Calling all cars! Subject Kookie Calabrese has been spotted in the financial district. Subject is in the process of painting all of the banks pink while his gang loots them. Be on the lookout for … Continue reading I Was An Undercover Gardener For The FBI
Doc Tempest And The Monster Dog
...from the February, 1962 issue The Doclopedia #747 Alt. Most Wanted: Greydon “Mugs” Malone Malone is wanted for armed robbery, burglary, assault, assault with a deadly weapon, attempted murder, murder, trafficking in drugs & stolen goods and smuggling. He is armed and very dangerous. Malone is 6'2” tall, weighs 230 pounds, has short brown hair, … Continue reading Doc Tempest And The Monster Dog
Blue Beanies For Blue Meanies
...because we ran out of red beanies The Doclopedia #746 Fiction Snippets: Holmes Is Where The Heart Is My second thought, as I stood there looking at the nervous little guy, was one of great sympathy. The whole pre-pubescent young love thing was one on those terrifying first stumbles towards adulthood that was terrifying … Continue reading Blue Beanies For Blue Meanies
George, The Meanest Turkey On Earth
...he once trapped a family of six in a Volkswagen Beetle. True story. The Doclopedia #745 Fiction Snippets: Dungeon Diary #2 Amella had no sooner picked the lock than the door burst open and out poured a half dozen of the same Mother forsaken flesh golems that we had battled in the Basket Room. … Continue reading George, The Meanest Turkey On Earth
For Sale: Brand New “For Sale” Sign
...and it's on sale! The next few Doclopedia entries are short snippets from fiction pieces I have in the works. Some are short stories and others are much longer. A couple will be recognizable to long time readers of this blog. Enjoy, and please do comment. The Doclopedia #744 Fiction Snippets: The Hot Job Spider … Continue reading For Sale: Brand New “For Sale” Sign
Hypnotic Arugula Seduced My Patty Pan Squash
...now I've got a garden full of little patty pan arugulas. The Doclopedia #742 Cool Hats: The Stetson of Spells If you are a modern mage, you know that it's damned hard to hold more that half a dozen spells at a time in your mind. This can be seriously bad if you find … Continue reading Hypnotic Arugula Seduced My Patty Pan Squash
It’s All Fun & Games Until You Have To Wash The Hippo
...because that takes a bunch of shampoo and a lot of time. The Doclopedia #740 Cool Hats: The Amazing Floral Hat Once upon a time, a fancy hat belonging to a very posh lady who was attending the races at Ascot. Through some means that respectable people would never discuss, but involved her and … Continue reading It’s All Fun & Games Until You Have To Wash The Hippo
How To Give A Sponge Bath To A Honey Badger
...Step One: Find somebody who is really stupid. The Doclopedia #737 Cool Hats: The Dangerous Derby Looking much like any other derby you might see on the street, this hat is actually a deadly weapon that was enchanted by a Shadow Witch back in 1891. Whenever the wearer of the derby is attacked in … Continue reading How To Give A Sponge Bath To A Honey Badger
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