...use condiment packs as goals Hello, 2009! Do NOT fuck with me! Some updating: No word from the vet, mostly because the lab is backed up and the vet closed early yesterday. Daisy is still doing ok and she slept about 14 hours last night cos we have to give her a tranquilizer so she … Continue reading Garbanzo Bean Soccer
Category: Uncategorized
Fuck You, 2008
My friends, I'll cut to the chase here: Today, we will find out if our sweet girl, Daisy, has cancer. On Friday morning, I'll find out if I have cancer. If I have it, there will be an operation to remove my prostate and then whatever else needs to be done. All paid for by … Continue reading Fuck You, 2008
How Many Bridges Do I Have To Throw You Off Of, Fred?
...as it turned out, it was 3 The Great Day Arrives Yes, Gentle Readers, today was the day. There was much anticipation, followed by nerves, worries about the cost and, of course, the inevitable hard final choice. Today, I bought my 2009 calendar. Now, I know that for most of you, buying a new calendar … Continue reading How Many Bridges Do I Have To Throw You Off Of, Fred?
Cello Playing Nymphos From Hell
...or they might be from New Jersey Thanks to all of you for the congratulations on my employment. About the job Ok, so my new job finds me working for a courier company called Tricor. Now, to start with, I'll be just driving a courier route going from West Sacramento to Natomas to Dixon, then … Continue reading Cello Playing Nymphos From Hell
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
...which, translasted into Mongolian, is still AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I GOT A JOB! I GOT A JOB! I GOT A JOB! I GOT A JOB! I GOT A JOB! I GOT A JOB! I GOT A JOB! I GOT A JOB! I GOT A JOB! I GOT A JOB! I GOT A JOB! I GOT A JOB! … Continue reading AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
The Winkerdog VS The Evil Blanket
...so far, the blanket seems to be winning So, you ask, what did Uncle Doc do today? Well, children, Uncle Doc had a biopsy done on his prostate gland... ....WHICH INVOLVES A LONG FUCKING NEEDLE GOING UP YOUR ASS, THEN THROUGH YOUR ABDOMINAL WALL, THEN INTO YOUR PROSTATE GLAND...EIGHT FUCKING TIMES!!! And then, on January … Continue reading The Winkerdog VS The Evil Blanket
The Rare And Beautiful Five Legged Blue Chickenduck Of Potawango Island
...they can't swim all that well, but they can run like a motherfucker Just a short post to let y'all know I'm still alive. I managed to send off a 2 page zine for Alarums & Excursions 400th issue. Not my most content filled zine ever, but not bad for having been gone for...I dunno...years. … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Five Legged Blue Chickenduck Of Potawango Island
At Times Like This, We Need Dancing Elks
...and maybe a crooning moose Not feeling very writerish lately, but here's a meme to amuse y'all. The Dice Meme Do you re-roll cocked dice? Yes Do you re-roll floor dice? Yes Do you roll where everyone can see it? Not always. Some info is privy to the GM only, plus, sometimes you have to … Continue reading At Times Like This, We Need Dancing Elks
A Late Dinner With Mr. Rabbitface
...and Gus the Blue Monkey A Meme (as seen on more than one other LJ) 1. Favorite food? Mexican or Thai 2. Favorite fast food? Tacos or Chili Dogs 3. Favorite car? For just driving around or cruising? 1957 Chevy Pickup For going fast and looking cool? 1969 Corvette 4. Favorite animal? The Canids 5. … Continue reading A Late Dinner With Mr. Rabbitface
The 163 Things You Should Know Before Having Sex On The Beach
...#1: Don't! Ok, I've now entered one of my rare hyper-domestic stages and must buy groceries before madly cleaning the house. But before that, here's something I should have posted long ago... LiveJournalTrading CardsFree Account Edition doccross User Number: 2425525 Date Created:2004-03-06 Number of Posts: 1,185 Doc Cross, the most famous of all the great … Continue reading The 163 Things You Should Know Before Having Sex On The Beach
Big Worms In Compost Pile D24-Gamma
...code name: Fuzzy Porcupine Ok, so I've submitted two games for ConquestSac in March. Here they are. Over The Pulp Edge It's 1933 and the Insane Mastermind, Dr. Miguelito Loveless, has released an army of beast men on the city of San Francisco. As part of Team Tempest, it's up to you to figure out … Continue reading Big Worms In Compost Pile D24-Gamma
Dr. Silkmelon Goes On A Shopping Spree
...mostly, shopping for body parts A Question For You, Gentle Readers So, assuming you were going to buy a roleplaying game product in the popular PDF format...say, something priced at $10.00 or less and running 20 pages or less...and it is a SYSTEM FREE, NO RULES type of product...what sort of product would interest you? … Continue reading Dr. Silkmelon Goes On A Shopping Spree
Hello, Mr. Shit. Have You Met Mr. Fan?
...D'OH! Well hellfire...Forry Ackerman died today. I'm glad he's no longer suffering, but fandom (ALL fandom) has lost it's #1 guy. In other crappy news, my unemployment check next week will be my last unless I can get an extension or find a job (or some of you read my last post and hire me). … Continue reading Hello, Mr. Shit. Have You Met Mr. Fan?
Teddy Bears For the Damned
...or even the darned Ok...fuck this shittyassed economy and this unemployment bullshit...it's time for the Good Doctor to grab things by the ass! FOR HIRE: ME! Healthy, 55 year old male. Skilled at gardening, cooking, driving, babysitting, petsitting (cats excluded due to extreme allergy), escorting ladies about (strictly business...I'm a married guy), a certain amount … Continue reading Teddy Bears For the Damned
The Kitty Cats Fly a Helicopter
...for like, 12 seconds STUFF, Y'all Damn...woke up at 6:15 because The Girls didn't wake us up at 4:30 for First Breakfast. Curse my sensitivity to changes in my little piece of the world. So anyway, after feeding and walking my hounds, I decided to get online and check on my villages in Travian. Next … Continue reading The Kitty Cats Fly a Helicopter
The Eerily Self-Referential Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Mostly Purple Patty Story
...featuring her pet siamang, Jeff Ok, so it's December 1st, the real start of the Holiday Season. I hate the Holiday Season in general and Christmas music in particular, but I rather do like the following variation on a popular Xmas tune. And yes, I did post it on this very LJ way back in … Continue reading The Eerily Self-Referential Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Mostly Purple Patty Story
Never Lie To A Cow
...moo! Because I'm, you know, mad as a hatter, I spent part of this otherwise very lazy day compiling and adding to all of the "Doc Tempest Magazine" subject lines I've ever done. The Adventures Of Doc Tempest The 1880's The Heroic Adventures Of Doctor Tempest And His Astounding Team (January, 1884 issue) (first issue) … Continue reading Never Lie To A Cow
Doc Tempest And The Murder Machine
...from the June, 1942 issue Coming Soon To A Dundracon Near You I've decided to run a 3D minis battle to the death arena in Open Gaming this year. Here are the facts as they stand now... Title: Hack 'Em Up! System: Totally homebrew, rules light and based upon rolling 1d20 for actions and assorted … Continue reading Doc Tempest And The Murder Machine
Gooby, The Musk Ox Who Thought She Was A Dog
...a book for children So, I went to bed early last night...about 9:30 pm. This is very rare for me, but I had been dragging ass since about 7:30, so I finally gave up the fight. Which is mostly why, on a Saturday morning, I'm up and at 'em at 7:00 after giving The Girls … Continue reading Gooby, The Musk Ox Who Thought She Was A Dog
Dinner In The Gobbler Green Zone
...no anti-turkey terrorists here The Chicken and Dumplings turned out to be SuperYummo. Ditto the rest of the meal. But I know that what y'all really want to know is... What did Daisy and Winker have for dinner? Well, Gentle Reader, they had Curry Flavored Rice with Sauteed Chicken Livers and Natural Balance Lamb & … Continue reading Dinner In The Gobbler Green Zone
Fruit Popsicles With Meal Worm Crunchies
...probably not for human consumption Ok, folks, if you like Doctor Who even a little bit, you'll love The Ten Doctors In other news, I wish all of you a Happy Gluttony Day tomorrow:)
Attack Of The Mutant Wiener Dogs
...with laser beams! Happy birthday to John Kovalic, whom I first met at GenCon in 1991. I hope you have a good one, buddy! Ya know, for an unemployed bum, I've got a fuckin' busy day ahead of me. First up is a visit to Dr. Yen's Anti-Psoriasis House Of Fun, then I have to … Continue reading Attack Of The Mutant Wiener Dogs
Giant Rotifers Ate My Cookies
...the bastards Hokey Smoke, Bullwinkle, yesterday was one of those LOOOOOONNNNNGGGG days where you do stuff that, individually, takes only a bit of time, but end up with you being totally drained and sleeping for 10 hours. starting at 8 AM, there was lots of driving, doing stuff, more driving, more doing stuff, etc, etc. … Continue reading Giant Rotifers Ate My Cookies
Deadman’s Learning Curve
...not the song by Jan & Dean Ok, I'm back. The job hunt goes on with no results so far. It's a pretty shitty time to be 54 and looking for work along with a huge number of your fellow citizens, but what ya gonna do? If I was half my present age and weight, … Continue reading Deadman’s Learning Curve
Black Ice Hotel
...slippery Just a quickie to let y'all know that if I don't post for a few days, it's because I'm desperately looking for any work I can get. If I don't post for a couple of weeks, you can figure that our phone service has been shut off, possibly followed by our electricity. And for … Continue reading Black Ice Hotel