…armed only with a teaspoon and some yak butter
The Trip to DogCon 3: Day 2, Part 2, In which we learn a very great deal about onions, our conveyance slips sideways in time and we find a stash of chocolate.
(Note: All comments by Flash are in italics)
So…Walla Walla, Washington…Onion Central for the Great Northwest. We rolled into town about 2:30 Thursday, but we could smell the onions about 15 minutes earlier. That made us all hungry, so we were doubly glad to see the Onion World Theme Park.
After making sure that our critters were securely and safely locked up in the bus, we three humans paid our $7.50 admission each and went in search of fun and food.
My sisters and I had no intention of escaping, since Lucy had sniffed out the fact that one of the doors inside the bus now lead to a large room full of old shoes. We had big fun chewing on them and playing with them.
We found a burger stand just inside the main gate. The burgers were good and big, but the kid at the counter looked at Grace like she was some sort of alien when she told him she wanted her burger without cheese, condiments or onions. Personally, I think an alien would at least have some ketchup on their burger.
After consuming enough burgers & fries to harden the arteries of an spinosaur, we went off to the first attraction, “Our Friend, The Onion”. It was a sort of “It’s A Small World” kind of deal, but told us all the amazing facts associated with onions in general and those from Walla Walla in particular. I found it amusing that onions from Maui, Hawaii or Vidalia, Georgia were portrayed as food fit only for hogs or people from Oregon.
Once that thrill packed bit of allium centric propaganda was finished, we wandered around the park, rode a few rides (I particularly liked the Wild Onion and the Bumper Onions), saw a musical show about the pioneering onion farmers and bought the inevitable fridge magnets, postcards and t-shirts. Oh, and I bought Bandana #487, a blue one with yellow onions on it.
Meanwhile, we had progressed to playing a game of “King of the Shoe Hill”. Thanks to my kitty agility, I avoided getting knocked off for a full 5 minutes. Lucy finally routed me with a well placed headbutt.
Back on the bus, we headed out, hoping to get to the KOA in Tater Corners, Idaho, before dark. We did, but it was a strange trip getting there.
See, the TARDIS unit we bought is only supposed to make the bus bigger on the inside. No spacey wacey, timey wimey shit is supposed to happen. But there we were, cruising down the road, both women and all the critters asleep, when time & space went all funny.
First, the clock on the dashboard started running backwards really fast. Then the scenery started to change. Eastern Washington is not a well forested area, but damned if we weren’t all of a sudden driving through a forest of what looked like miniature (as in only 75 feet tall) redwoods. Not long after that, the sun set 3 times in rapid succession and rose just as many times.
The clock now told me it was 462:00 WM and I was driving through a city that looked vaguely like Denver, if Denver had been built by Dr. Seuss. I thought for a moment about waking up Grace & Sharon so they could see it, but then remembered that they tended to receive any news of temporal/spatial shenanigans rather poorly, so I let them sleep.
As we were leaving town, I saw a fast food joint offering Deep Fried Fleems with Pok Sauce for only $3.00 per dozen. I have no idea what that shit was, but hey, it was deep fried! And the smell that wafted in wasn’t bad, either. A bit metallic, but with overtones of seafood and radishes. I probably should have gotten some, because now I’m regretting missing my chance.
About 10 miles outside of town, where the scenery was looking a bit Martian, we suddenly snapped back into our reality. A minute or so later, Joe the Mechanic stepped through one of the many interior doors and offered his apology about the little detour. I told him what I had seen and he just nodded and said “Mmmm, Fleems…them’s good eatin'”
Son of a bitch!
Anyway, one of the advantages of fucking about in space and time is that we slipped a bit back in the local timestream, thus reducing our 4 hour trip to Tater Corners to about a 35 minute trip.
Once at the KOA, we walked critters, relaxed in the hot tub, ate dinner and watched some episodes from the 5th year of Star Trek. Gotta love those alternate reality DVDs. It was right after the episode where Spock & McCoy get roaring drunk during peace talks with the Romulans that I got up to take a leak, opened what I thought was the bathroom door and discovered an entire small closet full of chocolate. SCORE!
After a couple more hours of Trek & chocolate, we all turned in for the night. Unfortunately, after only 4 hours sleep, I woke up, which is why I’m writing this.
More imaginary trip bloggage tomorrow.
Destination Sign: Mayberry
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