It’s All Fun & Games Until You Get Your Head Stuck In A Bicycle

…especially if it’s moving

The Doclopedia #251

Altered (United) States: Mississippi   “Run & Hunt”

On Earth 5, the heavily forested state of Mississippi is the setting for one of the most interesting and extreme military training functions ever devised: The Mississippi Survival Run.

The concept is simple: qualifying members of various special forces units from both US and foreign military organizations are dropped off somewhere along the northwestern border of the state and told to be in Biloxi (at the state’s southern tip) in 15 days. Each contestant is given a small pack with minimal survival gear.

Sounds pretty straightforward, right? Guess again.

First off, the skin of all contestants is dyed a very bright blue. This dye is pretty much impossible to remove, but will fade rapidly after about 18 days.

Secondly, contestants are not allowed to use any motorized vehicle for travel. Any non-motorized transport is legal. Everything from skateboards to horses to hang gliders have been used in the past. It should be noted that contestants are exempt from prosecution for theft during the 15 days of the Run.

Thirdly, contestants must obtain five keys from various places (some urban, most in the wild) that they must turn in at the finish line. These keys are scattered around the state, making it impossible to just take a straight line from start to finish. Each key also unlocks a nearby box of food and juice. The five keys for each contestant are never anywhere near those of other contestants.

Fourth, contestants may not help each other and they cannot steal each others stuff. Leading a bunch of citizens towards another contestant is perfectly ok, however.

Finally, a bounty of $5,000 is paid to any citizen who brings a “Blue Runner” into the local police station or military base. Citizens cannot seriously hurt a contestant, just as a contestant cannot seriously hurt a citizen, but as General George Patton once said “You can bet there will be some serious ass kicking”. He would know, having been among the first group of men to run the course.

The Run always starts exactly at midnight and contestants are spaced 20 feet apart. Most years there are 30-40 contestants and they all get a 2 hour grace period before the citizens of Mississippi can start hunting them. Not surprisingly, in areas anywhere near human habitation, Runners wait until after dark to travel.

On average, about half of all contestants get caught. The people of Mississippi all love the Run and are very good at spotting Runners.

All winning contestants get medals and a cut of the uncollected bounty money. The losers get to try again next year.