…it has a cloaking device
WOO HOO! New theme!
The Doclopedia #278
Wascally Wobots: C-115/B AKA “Dogbot”
In February, 2009, the Yoshimitsu Entertainment Corporation announced that in 2010 it would begin shipping “the cutting edge in robotic pets”, Dogbot. This canine robot would be, the press releases said, “the ultimate pet and the finest robotic unit” available to the general populace. It would not only have a very advanced AI, it would be capable of altering it’s coat length and color, leg length, facial conformation and ear shape. Any Dogbot could be made to look like any medium sized breed from a Basset Hound to a Chow Chow! Even at a suggested list price of $2,500.00, the public was clamoring to put in advanced orders.
Then came the disastrous product demonstration at the Consumer Electronics Show, which was, unfortunately for Yoshimitsu Corp., being broadcast worldwide.
Dogbot was looking great, exactly like an Irish setter. He sat, rolled over, fetched a ball, barked out a tune (Happy Birthday To You) and ran an obstacle course. Then selected members of the audience were allowed to interact with Dogbot and even program him with new instructions.
This went well, with the first three people telling him how to bark out new songs or dance or go fetch them a cold drink. The fourth person, however, was a woman who had been active in rescuing abused animals and had some mental issues because of it. She hugged Dogbot and whispered in his ear the following…
“You should run free and have fun. You should get smarter and survive. You should never let humans hurt you or catch you. You should just be like a big old puppy having fun.”
Much later, lawyers for Yoshimitsu would state that Dogbot was not supposed to have been given that level of basic programming, but a “small flaw” in the AI code allowed it. They left unsaid that it was also not the best idea to have given the robot 500 quintabytes of memory just because they got the memory modules dead cheap. And maybe making the robot self repairing was a tiny mistake.
Upon receiving his new programming, Dogbot began to run about and play like a puppy. This involved many things, including chewing up valuable items, knocking people over and creating a near riot. Oh, and not letting itself be caught. Also, it deleted all Master Control programs and routed all of it’s shape changing abilities into a newly formed Survival Program. Then, barking happily and morphing into a large Greyhound, Dogbot escaped the building.
In less that 48 hours, Yoshimitsu stock was in the shitter, several of the companies top executives were dead from suicide and most of the programmers who worked on the project were looking for new jobs at fast food joints.
Dogbot, on the other paw, was having the time of his life! He was playing with kids, digging holes, chasing cats & cars, knocking over garbage cans and generally being a very naughty dog. Every few days, he would change shape and move on to a new town. Once a month, he locates an electrical outlet and recharges his primary and secondary power units.
To date (June, 2012) Dogbot has caused 2.5 billion dollars worth of damage on 5 continents. The United Nations has a 100 million dollar reward out for his capture. There are 2,974 web pages devoted to him, as well as 3,657 You Tube videos about him. He has interacted peacefully with millions of people. Nobody is sure if this has affected his basic programming, but…
In March of 2012, Dogbot broke into the home of Ronald Beckersly of Seattle, Washington. Nobody was home at the time, but the break in was caught by a neighbor on a phone cam. It was only after rigorous questioning that Mr. Beckersly admitted that he had owned 4 Dogbot prototypes that he had bought on the black market after Yoshimitsu closed down in 2011. He swore that they had been “just toys” with “all programming wiped”.
It is suspected that Dogbot might be correcting that.
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