…do NOT turn your back on them
I’m a day behind, but should be catching up this weekend. And now, today’s Wascally Wobot…
The Doclopedia #279
Wascally Wobots: Darwin AKA Mars Biological Experiment Robot
Darwin was the nickname given to the robot that landed on Mars in 2002 for the express purpose of conducting experiments designed to see how certain Terran lifeforms fared on the Red Planet. This was not supposed to be an exercise in terraforming. Oops!
The first unexpected thing that threw a spanner in the works was that Mars had WAY more water under the surface than anybody thought. We’re talking a couple of orders of magnitude here.
Secondly, there was the assumption that most, if not all, of the lifeforms (mosses, lichens, fungi, worms, insects, protozoans, algae, etc) would die off pretty quickly. Most of what would be learned, the project managers said, would be learned by how and why various things died.
The third problem, if it can be called that, was making Darwin so tough, energy independent and smart. That last one was compounded by problem number four…
Roger Gertman and his team at Advanced Independent Artificial Intelligence (nickname: Aye Aye!). While these young geniuses were the best AI people in the world, they were also irreverent, rebellious, cocky and possessed of a wicked sense of humor. Not only did they make Darwin very smart, they gave him a secret agenda: if possible, proceed with the terraforming of Mars.
This is roughly how things went…
November 2001: The Advanced Habitat Construction Mission lands on Mars and three little robots (nicknames: Kyle, Kenny & Stan) start building the 30 foot acrylic dome that will be home to Darwin and the experiments. Once they are done with that, they install the solar panels for power and then shut down until Darwin arrives.
February 2002: Darwin arrives in the experimental Cargo Landing Craft (basically, a glider) and sets up shop. He also begins reprogramming the three construction robots.
October 2002: 50% of the lifeforms (the higher animal ones) have died, but the rest are surviving and in most cases, mutating to adapt to the environment.
August 2003: Three types of lichen and several protozoans seem to be doing very well in the Martian environment, provided they can get to water. Darwin’s secret programming kicks in. Back on Earth, the mission control team is pretty excited and starts preparing to send another load of lifeforms to Mars, along with more equipment that Darwin has requested.
September 2003: The completely reprogrammed construction bots have finished dismantling the space glider and have built a device to extract water from the Martian soil and then extract the oxygen from it.
March 2004: The area around the oxygen plant is covered in lichens, mosses and the soil has a good amount of microorganisms in it. Back on Earth, the second load of lifeforms heads out to Mars.
September 2004: Mission control is getting some strange readings from the Mars Orbiter every time it passes over Darwin’s little experiment. Much head scratching ensues.
April 2005: Mutating like they are going to win a prize, the various lifeforms now cover an area of 4 acres. Darwin programs Stan to journey to the North Pole and release organisms there. Stan travels there using a small hydrogen filled balloon and compressed air jets for control.
May 2005: Stan reaches the North Pole and releases his cargo. With water right there on the surface, things get growing fast. Meanwhile, back on Earth, mental light bulbs are coming on.
June 2005: Mission Control tells Darwin to shut down. Darwin replies “I think not, good sirs. Now good day to you!” At Aye! Aye! HQ, this bit of news causes fits of laughter, even after several of the executives are arrested.
August 2005: Darwin has Stan making trips to the North Pole every six weeks to deposit more organisms.
November 2005: Darwin begins having the construction crew clear an area for the new lab that will be arriving soon.
March 2006: The second space glider (containing 6 new and improved construction bots) arrives, a second laboratory is built, 2.652 new life forms are installed in a very nurturing environment and much equipment is installed, including 4 new solar arrays.
August 2006: An area of 22 acres around Darwin is covered in a dizzying array of simple and not so simple plants. Much of this area is heated by the solar arrays providing electricity to heating wires buried underground. At the North Pole 90 acres along the edge of the ice cap are supporting life. In both areas, the oxygen content of the atmosphere is a touch higher than elsewhere on the planet.
December 2006: Back on Earth, Mission Control says “fuck it, we might as well go along with it” and the reviewing of massive amounts of data begins. They also begin twice yearly shipments of organisms and other supplies to Darwin.
2007-2010: The pace at which various organisms are adapting and mutating on Mars is almost unbelievable. The team at Aye! Aye! Win a Nobel Prize. NASA assigns more people to the now renamed Mars Terraforming Project. They also get fully funded for a manned mission to Mars in 2020. In 2008, they begin live streaming from Mars onto the internet, with about 25,000,000 hits a day.
2020: All totaled, nearly a third of Mars has been covered with life. The planetary temperature has risen by several degrees. The oxygen content is higher, but still not sufficient for most terrestrial life forms. It is, however, plenty good for Martian life forms, including the one at the top of the heap, the Martian worm. In May, humans land on Mars. Darwin invites them over for tea.
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