Look, An Ant-horned Prongalope!

…that sounds mildly obscene
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The Doclopedia #1,515

Earth 5-C: The Geek Movies


Earth 5-C is different from our Earth. Here are some examples.

Reflecting the fact that women took control of things after the 1805-1809 Influenza Pandemic killed off 8 out of 10 adult men, motion pictures on Earth 5-C are very different than they are here.

With almost no wars and very little crime, movies about those two subjects are pretty rare. Much more common are stories of humans vs nature (especially cryptids), horror/supernatural movies, dramas, comedies of all sorts, romances, musicals and historical dramas, including a bunch of mostly non-violent westerns.

But science and fantasy are the biggest box office draws.

Three of the highest grossing movies of all time are the “Lord of The Rings” trilogy. Despite the fact that Earth 5-C never had a World War I (or II) to affect him, JRR Tolkien still wrote a story very close to the one we know. There are female characters in place of some male ones (Legolas, Frodo, Saruman) and some all new characters (Rinda the Dwarf, Ilistar the Elf, both females), but overall, the same story. It was directed by Emily Jackson and each of the three parts won several Academy Awards.

The Harry Potter movies? Well, it’s Mary Potter, but otherwise pretty much the same books and movies.


In the science fiction category both Star Trek and Star Wars exist, but they are markedly different than what we know.

Star Trek was never a television series. The first movie came out in 1966 and told the story of the starship Enterprise, Earth’s first faster than light exploration ship. The crew was ethnically diverse and the captain was indeed James T. Kirk, but beyond that, it changes fast. Such as…

No alien crew members

No Federation of Planets or Starfleet yet

Not only was Kirk not a horndog, he was married to the ship’s Chief Engineer, Molly Scott.

The plot of the first movie found the Enterprise meeting up with the Vulcans (pretty much as we know them) and the Klingons (who were much more violent and warlike and were descended from insects).

Subsequent films charted the friendship between humans and Vulcans, more exploration, more Klingon chicanery and, by film #4 (Star Trek: The City of Forever), the formation of the Federation of Planets and Starfleet.

Oddly, in 1998, 30 years after the first movie was released (and a year after movie #12), a Star Trek series was announced. It was much like Next Generation.

Star Wars had actually been a 16 part serial that started in June, 1946 and ran every week until the end of September that year. While not a high budget affair, it was considerably better on all counts that the serials of our Earth.

All of the characters we know were in it, but the plotline focuses as much on Leia as it does on Luke, with both having all sorts of adventures and learning to use the force. In fact, they don’t even meet until episode 9. Han Solo is Luke’s older cousin and not a smuggler. Chewbacca is shorter and has much lighter colored fur, but still does not speak any Earth tongue. C3PO and R2D2 are clunkier looking and both speak English, but are otherwise the same bots we know.

Leia travels with her best friend, Landa Kalrisian, who has green skin and pointy elf-like ears. Both can kick serious ass when needed. Landa can also sometimes become invisible. Leia is also a top notch pilot.

Darth Vader is not as we know him, having a much more Ming the Merciless streak and silver and black armor. He’s still a huge menace, can do that Force choke and wields a deadly lightsaber.

The serial ran on television starting around 1952 and was much beloved by many future filmmakers, including young George Lucas. You can guess how that turned out.

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