…but still, le news
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I am home from the hospital, but still on the mend.
In other news, I really hated being in the hospital.
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The Doclopedia #1,578
Hello There!: The Alien
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Hello there, Terran! No, please, calm down. Despite the fact that I look so very different from most Terran life forms, I assure you that I have no designs on eating your face, mating with your women, conquering your planet or probing you anally. In fact, I am here as part of a Galactic Counsel mission to study the bird life on 35 pre-civilized planets. Yes, birds. Fascinating creatures, really, and amazingly common throughout this spiral arm. Your property here is particularly rich in bird life. The fact that it abuts a national park is even better.
Now, I cannot stop you from telling anyone about me, but I assure you, they will never find me or even see me. Instead, let me offer you this currency that I have replicated. Would $100,000.00 per week be agreeable? Excellent!
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The Doclopedia #1,579
Hello There!: The Shopkeeper
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Hello there, Doctor C! It’s been a while. How are the wife and critters? Great! Oh, We’ve been doing pretty well. Ed got that knee replacement and he’s doing real well. Bitches about the PT, but he knows better than to stop doing it. I just show him my foot, then point to his butt and he shuts right up. Hahaha.
Yes, I do have those gloves you wanted. Thinnest possible gloves you’ll ever find, but 100% guaranteed to not leave any trace of a fingerprint or DNA. There are 30 in the box.
And you have 6 bottles of Domaine de la Romanee-Conti “Romanee-Conti”? Oh, yes, that is a more than ample trade, so I’ll just credit you about $30,000.00, alright?
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