…they’ve had enough
.
Become a Patron! And make your dog proud!
.
The Doclopedia # 2,005
Dangerous Inventions: Miss Hong’s Mechanical Horse
.
When the Emperor told Miss Hong, the most skilled of his inventors, to build him a mechanical horse, she replied that his horse would be grand beyond imagination, swift as the wind and able to leap the city walls.
Excited to hear this, the Emperor told her to hire as many helpers and craftsmen as she needed and that money was no object. Miss Hong thanked him and got to work immediately.
Construction of the horse required the services to over 500 skilled workers and another 300 people to feed and tend to them. Everyone worked a 12 hour day, 6 days a week. After 3 years, the horse was ready.
It was half again larger than and living horse and covered in gold, silver and fine engraving, The horses tail and mane were strings of pearls and it’s eyes were diamonds. The saddle was crafted from the finest materials. The Emperor was beside himself with joy.
Miss Hong then told him that she would ride the horse around the enormous plaza to show off it’s abilities. The Emperor told her to put on a good show for everyone.
The horse ran around the crowd of 10,000 at amazing speed, easily 90 miles an hour. It took leaps of 80 feet easily and at one point actually ran along the side of the Imperial Compound wall. Everyone was goggle eyed and cheering as she rode back in front of the Emperor, his family and assorted important ministers.
Then she told the Emperor how, 27 years earlier when he had stolen the throne from his uncle, he had put many people, including her parents, to death. Only the fact that she was out of town at her aunt and uncles village had saved her life.
She turned the horse away from the speechless Emperor and had it shoot flaming oil from it’s rear. Then, riding through the mass of soldiers running toward her at, she deployed 6 foot long blades that sliced through dozens of men while the horse shot poison darts from it’s nose.
As she approached the wall at nearly 100 miles an hour, she activated jets in the hooves and went over the 40 foot high wall easily. She did the same at the city wall a few minutes later, then disappeared into the dark at a speed too fast for anyone to catch. A month later, she rode into the city followed by an army of 25,000. With the Imperial family gone, much of the Imperial Guard dead or deserted, and the surviving ministers in a tizzy, Miss Hong claimed the throne as Empress.
And that is who only women with mechanical horses have ruled China ever since.
.
.
.
The Doclopedia # 2,006
Dangerous Inventions: Professor Beldon’s Love Mist
.
Professor Ambrose Beldon was the greatest chemist of the 1890s. He was also a devotee of making money from his discoveries. So, when he accidentally created a liquid whose scent caused great sexual arousal, he knew he was on the way to fantastic wealth.
He tested it on over 60 couples, from the very poor to the wealthy and titled. Young, old, married for decades or complete strangers, one goof whiff of Love Mist and they would strip off and be at it in minutes. Even men and women who had been “impaired” sexually found themselves ready, willing and able.
Word got out and the advance orders poured in from not only England, but all over the world. Determined to sell as much as he could, Beldon took out huge loans and built an enormous factory in Manchester. The three great holding tanks would contain a total of 3 million gallons. The workers had to wear special suits to keep from getting a whiff and huge fans blew any escaping gasses high into the air. As it was, a strong breeze carried enough of the stuff into the air that when it drifted down into Leeds the next morning, several dozen people engaged in public fornication.
After 3 months of round the clock work, Professor Beldon was almost ready to start shipping. Orders now totaled just over 75 million pounds. And then the factory caught on fire.
It was never discovered what started the fire, but when certain chemicals and fuels ignited, it spread fast. 20 minutes later, the enormous holding tanks exploded from the pressure and the gas shot high into the atmosphere. When it settled to the ground it was highly diluted, but still strong. It covered almost all of Britain and Wales, the lower two thirds of Scotland and even the east coast of Ireland. The prevailing wind blew it all over Europe and into Russia. It went as far north as southern Sweden and as far south as the north coast of Africa. A few days later more of it came down in eastern Russia and China. Korea and Japan got a dose, too.
The result was chaos. People went wild with lust. By the time it wore off a few hours later, tens of millions of people were very tired and sore. As well, very few gay and lesbian folks were still in the closet. Men of the cloth had a lot to explain, too, especially Catholics.
The gas did not affect pre-pubescent children, but they all got a very fast and thorough sexual education from watching.
As you might guess, the “Day Of Lust” caused both a total work stoppage for that day and a population boom 9 months later. Many hasty marriages were performed. Eventually, things got back to normal, but people’s attitudes toward sex in the affected areas was forever changed.