…as opposed to meeting a queen
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The Doclopedia #2,109
Guest Authors Write Warning Labels: Auntie Lizzie’s Ghoulash
By Avis Crane
Product Warning Label
Auntie Lizzie’s Ghoulash is a tasty stew in the traditional Hungarian style, made with only the best, well-aged locally-sourced ghouls!
Please observe the following preparation notes for your safe consumption!
The Ghoulash must be heated to exactly 350° F. for 30 minutes before it can be successful eaten. There is only a 5° plus or minus margin on this, so be sure you have an accurate fast-read thermometer (see Auntie Lizzie’s website for her top-quality thermometer – on sale today for only $39.95!).
Eating underheated Ghoulash will cause you to be haunted for eternity by all the souls that the ghoul had previously consumed.
Eating overheated Ghoulash will cause you to be turned into the ghoul itself.
So prepare properly, and join the ranks of the slowly growing list of adventurous gourmets who have eaten Auntie Lizzie’s Ghoulash safely and soul-intact! Happy eating!
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The Doclopedia #2,110
I Write A Warning Label, Because I Only Got 5 From Guest Authors : Super Coconut
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Thank you for buying Super Coconut, from Demise Agro Products.
1: To crack open super coconut without losing the delicious juice, we suggest using either a power drill or a laser.
2: To roast the meat of Super Coconut, use a 350 degree over for about 20 minutes. Do NOT use a flamethrower or blowtorch.
3: Do not use Super Coconut as a bowling ball, exercise tool or pet.
4: Under no circumstances must you EVER mix the lime with Super Coconut! Jesus, it’s dangerous enough with a regular coconut!
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