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The Doclopedia #2,125
A Short Lecture: Your Vacation Destination
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Now, before we get into this whole vacation selection process, you’ll need to decide where you want to go and what sort of vacation you want. This is a decision not lightly made, should your spouse and/or children give you the chance to make it.
Some people enjoy a nice vacation at a beachfront resort, where everything is included in one price that is made up of many smaller prices. Some resorts are “all inclusive”, which means that your meals, drinks, entertainment, room and sand in every body crevice are covered by one price. Often, this is a rather high price, so I strongly suggest getting your money’s worth at the bar.
Camping in the great outdoors is a much less expensive venture, once you pay for tents, sleeping bags, camp stoves and the 300 other things that help you go “roughing it.” These expenses are offset by the fresh air and exercise you’ll get while swimming, hiking, fishing and running for your life from the local wildlife. I always try to bring a friend along that I know I can outrun, just for that wildlife situation.
Another beloved American vacation is the long automobile trip across the country. Those of you without children have no idea what you are missing when one takes a trip in a loaded down station wagon with several kids, all of whom declare firm demarcations as to their part of the seating arrangement before all out war takes place. A fascinating side note is that once the car begins to move, all children develop weak bladders and the ability to not understand the phrase “not yet” in regards to the question “are we there yet”.
For those poor souls without children, a vacation in the big city is often fun. Staying in a fancy hotel and going out to dinner and perhaps a show every night is wonderful and even educational. For example, you will learn that theater tickets cost only slightly less that your car did and a room service cheese sandwich runs about the same as the steak dinner you had the other night.
In recent years, the “staycation” has become popular and I cannot recommend it highly enough. You simply stay home, enjoy life and save money. You can go out to eat in local restaurants that you know are not run by some sort of bandits and if you want to pop into your local saloon for a reasonably priced drink, do so! Yes, the staycation is the best sort of vacation, particularly if your children are away at camp.
Good day.
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The Doclopedia #2,126
A Short Lecture: What To Have For Dinner
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When people are trying to decide what to have for dinner, they often ask me for suggestions. My first suggestion is usually “enough to share with me.” This does not seem to sit well with some people who most likely had no intention of sharing their dinner, so let’s just forget them. Greedy selfish rascals, every one of them.
Part of the decision as to what to have for dinner is often based upon dietary needs or cost of ingredients or whatever is left over in the fridge, but not that thing covered in mold way in the back. You might also want to be a bit leery of things on the lowest shelf, too. It’s a bad neighborhood.
Of course, once you decide on the main course, then you need to choose the side dishes and perhaps a dessert. You can’t just grab whatever you see! Besides that sort of thinking leads to meals of meatloaf and oatmeal or pork chops and spaghetti or some even worse combos. Thinking that way is the first step toward Communism and worse! Before you know it, you’re clutching a little red book, quoting Mao, and doing so while eating leftover cod and a bowl of tortilla chips! You certainly don’t want that.
No, I say it’s best to leave this whole dinner thing to decent Americans who prepare decent non-Communist American food. Just order out and be done with it.
Good day.
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