...#1: Never associate with crazy women The Doclopedia #81 Average Joes: Joe Wyznowski, Cemetery Custodian Yeah, I know, it's a creepy job taking care of a cemetery. Some of my friends thought I was nuts, but hell, the pay is good and I get this nice little cottage to live in. It's a … Continue reading The 35 Things That You Should Know How To Do To Avoid Crazy Women
Tag: Doclopedia
Coelacanth Breeder’s Quarterly
...now with full color photos! The Doclopedia #80 Average Joes: Joe Orion, Starship Mechanic Oh now, jeez, I haven't seen one of dese in years. An old Asimov 250 wit' jump drive, right? Gosh, this is a classic, don't ya know? There's a fella back home in Fargo has got one o' dese. … Continue reading Coelacanth Breeder’s Quarterly
A Somnambulist In The Pantry
...AKA my cousin Cindy 365 People, Places & Things #79 Yes, Joe exists in a standard D&D type fantasy world, too. Average Joes: Joe Smith, Blacksmith Aye, I'm the village blacksmith and so was my father and grandfather before me. You need a horse shod or a weapon repaired or a new weapon made, then … Continue reading A Somnambulist In The Pantry
Pizza My Heart
...isn't that a Janis Joplin song? The Doclopedia #78 Average Joes: Joe Doakes, Diner Cook So like I was sayin', ya work at a place like this...on a busy corner in a big city...and ya see all kindsa things. An' I ain't just talkin' about good lookin' dames and rich guys, either. Hell, … Continue reading Pizza My Heart
Girls Who Like Pie And Naked Hopscotch
...they were...aw, nevermind The Doclopedia #77 Average Joes: Joe Jones, Sanitation Engineer Yeah, I'm a garbage collector. So? Somebody has to do it and the pay ain't bad. Sure you sometimes end up smelling pretty funky by the end of the day, but a good shower and some Old Spice and yer a … Continue reading Girls Who Like Pie And Naked Hopscotch
The Purple Door Of Freedom
...it lead to a car full of stuff and a map outta town. The Doclopedia #76 AD&D Monsters As Characters: Coriaximal the Dragon Oak Hill is chock full of misfit monsters. Regular monsters hate the misfits and wish to kill them. Why don't they? The Oak Hill Dragon, that's why. Coriaximal, or Cori … Continue reading The Purple Door Of Freedom
The Seriously Twisted, Yet Still Cute, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Peabody Twins
...co-starring her pet margay, Philomena The Doclopedia #75 AD&D Monsters As Characters: Rowf the Kobold Oak Hill has a mighty fine sheriff, and he's not the kind of monster you might expect in that position. AD&D Monsters As Characters: Rowf the Kobold Once upon a time, a husband and wife team of human wizards … Continue reading The Seriously Twisted, Yet Still Cute, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Peabody Twins
Desmond Favored Brunettes In Stews
... but for curries, he preferred redheads The Doclopedia #74 AD&D Monsters As Characters: Lola the Night Hag Mayor Lola is everything a Night Hag is not supposed to be: Beautiful, kind, caring, Lawful Good and a vegetarian. No wonder she was banished from Hades! She left when she was very young, after … Continue reading Desmond Favored Brunettes In Stews
Lactating Lucy
...no, really, she is. The Doclopedia #73 AD&D Monsters As Characters: Grug the Goblin Ya know that cranky old neighbor man who always yells at kids who walk past his house? Well, here is Oak Hill's version of him Grug, or "Ol' Man Grug" as the neighborhood kids like to call him, lives … Continue reading Lactating Lucy
Horrible Moon Mice
...they eat your hair while you sleep The Doclopedia #72 AD&D Monsters As Characters: Bronwyn the Yeti Bronwyn, or Bronny as her friends like to call her, is Oak Hill's blacksmith. Given her height of 8'3" and her enormous strength, blacksmithing is a pretty easy job for her. Of course, she does have to … Continue reading Horrible Moon Mice
The King Of The Jungle Was Also The Queen Of The Jungle
...and his treehouse was just faaaaabulous The above title is based upon a real Halloween situation from the early 80's. The Doclopedia #71 AD&D Monsters As Characters: Ollie the Otyugh Nobody knows what Ollie did before he came to Oak Hill, but he certainly couldn't have been a horrible cavern dwelling monster like … Continue reading The King Of The Jungle Was Also The Queen Of The Jungle
Brains, Breakfast Of Champions!
...well, champion zombies The Doclopedia #70 AD&D Monsters As Characters: Snord the Bugbear Snord was always a bit smarter that most of the other bugbears in his tribe. It was this very intelligence that eventually got him kicked out of the tribe and chased into the wilderness. Seems the bugbear boss man knew a … Continue reading Brains, Breakfast Of Champions!
Splendid Lily And The California Kid Go To Vegas
...on somebody else's nickel The Doclopedia #69 Pigs Is Pigs: Fred Finster, Wereboar In 1993, while on an ill advised vacation in rural Georgia, Fred Finster, age 30 and an insurance salesman by trade, was attacked by a huge wild boar. The creature managed to bite him several times before being shot by a local … Continue reading Splendid Lily And The California Kid Go To Vegas
A Box Full Of Eyeballs And A Bottle Of Pineapple Juice
...not real eyeballs, but still, ewwww! The headache that stopped me from posting yesterday is still here, so only one post today. I'm hoping to do two tomorrow. The Doclopedia #68 Pigs Is Pigs: Pigmaylion When he was a much younger man (well, he was 68, but he's a hell of a lot older … Continue reading A Box Full Of Eyeballs And A Bottle Of Pineapple Juice
The One About The Seven Hour Bike Ride With The Asian Lady
...it wasn't like you think...well, not entirely A short request: POST COMMENTS!!! The Doclopedia #67 Pigs Is Pigs: Ginger, Maxie & Zonk In the year 2185, the colony starship “Spirit of Earth” left on a trip to another solar system that is 235 light years away from Earth. Seeing as how the ship could … Continue reading The One About The Seven Hour Bike Ride With The Asian Lady
The Care And Feeding Of The Portuguese Love Python
...I'm bad...so bad The Doclopedia #65 Pigs Is Pigs: Brenda, The World's Smartest Pig In 1997, on the Earth just next to ours, geneticists at the University of California at Davis injected a sow and a boar with human genetic material in the hope that it would raise their intelligence to near human levels. … Continue reading The Care And Feeding Of The Portuguese Love Python
Beers For Fears
...or did I get that wrong? The Doclopedia #64 Pigs Is Pigs: Atomic Hog In the early 1950's, fallout from nuclear testing fell on the hog farm of Mr. Dudley Calhoun of Winslow, Arizona. A few months later, among a standard looking litter of 8 piglets, there was one that grew much faster … Continue reading Beers For Fears
The Box Full Of Money And What Maggie Did With It
...I mean, after she called her ex husband to gloat The Doclopedia #63 Strongholds: Dog Hill From the notebooks of Duke Shepherd (as read by Professor Toby Basset) A few years after the Fall of Humanity, when things were still pretty dicey for everyone, including Dogs, we left the Ranch in our thousands, … Continue reading The Box Full Of Money And What Maggie Did With It
A Stoat, Floating On A Moat With A Goat In A Boat, Chewed On An Oat And Decided To Vote
...man, I love doing those The Doclopedia #62 Strongholds: The Safety Dome The Australian government had more time than any other when the dead started rising up and eating the living. Since the Zombie Rising started in the northern hemisphere (Kyrgyzstan), Australia had time to stop all air and sea travel into the … Continue reading A Stoat, Floating On A Moat With A Goat In A Boat, Chewed On An Oat And Decided To Vote
Chocolate Covered Love
...Mmmmmm The Doclopedia #61 Strongholds: Justice Island In 1964, when the federal government closed Alcatraz Federal Prison, it sold the island to the well known superhero team Defenders of Justice. Almost immediately, the team began removing all traces of the previous buildings on the island and building their new headquarters. With such powerful … Continue reading Chocolate Covered Love
Mrs Wangdoodle Wears A Red Dress Into Town
...and the locals were scandalized The Doclopedia #60 Strongholds: Murkhold When the King Of All Orcs decided that the Orc Nation needed an impregnable fortress, he set his people to work building it in the middle of the Murkwaste Swamp. It took 22 years, the lives of 2,785 orcs, a couple of dozen … Continue reading Mrs Wangdoodle Wears A Red Dress Into Town
Bob, The Incredible Macaroni Man
...he could shoot cheese sauce from his fingers The Doclopedia #59 Strongholds: Hard Luck Station Located on the jungle planet Ks'rrk, Hard Luck Station is where they send the toughest and most expendable Space Marines. It's cramped, poorly supplied and the next nearest Terran Alliance outpost is 68 light years away. It's also … Continue reading Bob, The Incredible Macaroni Man
The Donut Hole At The Center Of The Universe
...it's honey crunch coated! The Doclopedia #58 Strongholds: The Castle Of Uul Zadir It is written that when the bandit sheik Uul Zadir ek Zadaffa decided that he finally wanted to settle down, he found that his legions of enemies (including the Caliph, whose 5 daughters had all been relieved of their virginity … Continue reading The Donut Hole At The Center Of The Universe
I’ll Have A Vodka Martini Shaken, Stirred And Slapped Around A Bit
...take that, James Bond! It's Strongholds week! The Doclopedia #57 Strongholds: The Ultimate Safe House The actual name of this place is Field House, since it resides in a 10 acre field not far outside a major city. The people who live nearby know it as “the old Higgins place”, since it was … Continue reading I’ll Have A Vodka Martini Shaken, Stirred And Slapped Around A Bit
Junior Muskrat Gets All Confused
...after 2 beers down at the Dew Drop Inn Here's the final post for Things That Blow Up Real Good week. Next week, the theme is: Strongholds The Doclopedia #56 Things That Blow Up Real Good: Jadrian Love Bombs About 11 thousand years ago, the extremely violent warrior species known as the Jadrians … Continue reading Junior Muskrat Gets All Confused
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