…after 2 beers down at the Dew Drop Inn
Here’s the final post for Things That Blow Up Real Good week. Next week, the theme is: Strongholds
The Doclopedia #56
Things That Blow Up Real Good: Jadrian Love Bombs
About 11 thousand years ago, the extremely violent warrior species known as the Jadrians conquered the 3 other sentient races on their planet, then conquered the other two inhabited planets in their solar system. For several centuries, they were content to expand their population and play overlord to the slave races. But once they invented warp drive capability, they sent out scout ships to a dozen more systems. Five of those ships never came back and six more reported that they had not found any planets that supported life. But ship #12…they found Earth.
While the Jadrian soldiers were out surveying the local humanoids, the support crew, made up of slave races and a few Jadrian scientists, was checking out the local flora and fauna. One species they found particularly interesting was the ape we call the bonobo. They were intrigued by the fact that these apes resolve most conflicts not by aggression, but by sexual contact. This really got the scientists thinking.
You see, nearly the whole scientist caste of Jadria were actually descended of Jadrians and the very closely related, yet smarter and more pacifist, Widrians. The initial cross breeding was thought to have just produced smarter (but smaller and weaker) Jadrians, but there was more to it than that. The scientists were not nearly so warlike as pureblood Jadrians , although they hid that fact from the warrior caste.
Anyway, these scientists started thinking about a culture based upon love and sex. They thought it was merely an interesting idea, a mental game to play. And so it was until just a few weeks before the survey ship was supposed to leave. It was then that one of the Sedibri (a warm blooded reptilian slave race) found that if you ate a certain type of local fungus, you would have mind expanding hallucinations. Being interested in this, one of the scientists tried some. But what only made the Sedibri have a nice hallucinogenic trip caused the scientists to experience a temporary, but enormous increase in his mental power.
Suddenly, and for about three hours, he was able to find the answers to all sorts of scientific problems. He wrote down a plan for a much more efficient warp drive, solved several problems in the field of physics and started building a teleporting device. Not to be left out, all of the other scientists partook of the mindblowing fungus. They advanced most of Jadrian science by at least 50 years before the effects wore off, but their biggest idea was the one they had been tossing around for weeks: How to create a society of love, peace and sex. The answer: Love Bombs.
The Jadrian Love Bomb is a mix of quantum physics, chemistry, genetic manipulation and psionic activity. When a Love Bomb bomb goes off, every sentient creature for 50 miles in every direction undergoes a change. That change is pretty much from what ever they were before to a peace loving horndog. Bomb goes off, everybody starts fucking. Wonderfully simple, really.
After testing the first bomb on the ships crew after the ship was on robo-pilot for home, the scientists (who also had stashed away about 150 pounds of the “smart fungus”) built 20 more bombs. When the ship landed back on Jadria Prime, they set them off, thus gaining control of the Imperial City and much of the land around it. Then, after initiating many other scientists to the smart fungus, they build thousands more bombs. In a few weeks, Jadria was one big horny love fest and was sending ships full of bombs to the rest of their home system.
Now, thousands of years later, the Jadrians have converted 22 other systems to their way of thinking. A fair chunk of space is chock full of what at least one species calls “Space Hippies”. At rate they are expanding, the Jadrians will get back to Earth around 2023, so you might want to stock up on condoms and lube.
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