...I love writing stuff like that Ok, so I'm still one day behind. I suck. Two posts tomorrow, I swear! The Doclopedia #139 On New Year's Eve...: Yu Ming Got A Sweet Deal ...of 1460, a poor Chinese farmer named Yu Ming was walking home from his fields when he was approached by two very tall … Continue reading Ovoviviporous Snakes Ate My Phalaropes
Tag: stuff
Snowman In The Crockpot
...also known as "water" The Doors Week ends with these two entries. Next week and maybe the week after, it's Retro 365 time again, kids! The Doclopedia #126 This door would have a long line in front of it, but it's very picky. The Door: To Power Everybody wants power. Some want it for good, some … Continue reading Snowman In The Crockpot
Junior Muskrat Confuses A Bullfrog
...frogs are pretty easy to confuse Maybe President Obama should have gone through this door. The Doclopedia #125 The Door: To Change The door that leads to change is a typical cheap hollow core door like you might find in any hotel room or older apartment complex. The frame is no better than … Continue reading Junior Muskrat Confuses A Bullfrog
The Globe Hopping & Thrilling, Yet Kind Of Cozy, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Rat Of Doom
...featuring her Auntie Zazu Doclopedia #122 The Door: To Adventure It's pretty doubtful that there has ever been a time in human history, or even prehistory, when more than a very few people actually sought out adventure. Most humans like it nice and safe and predictable, even if they might tell you otherwise. It is … Continue reading The Globe Hopping & Thrilling, Yet Kind Of Cozy, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Rat Of Doom
Watching The Defectives
...not by Elvis Costello The Doclopedia #121 The Door: To Love This week is all about doors that lead to something or someplace. At the risk of sounding a bit gameshowy, let's see what's behind door number one! The door that leads to love is not at all showy or covered in carvings of … Continue reading Watching The Defectives
Not In This Post: Vitamin D, Sexy Nightwear Or Zebus
...sorry, zebu lovers The Doclopedia #120 Potions: Elixir of Healing For our final entry of Potions Week, I must apologize for not mentioning our sponsors, the United Potion and Foods Company, earlier. Ingredients 2 cups of water 1 pinch of salt 1 three ounce packet of Mrs. Fondleduck's Instant Healing Potion In … Continue reading Not In This Post: Vitamin D, Sexy Nightwear Or Zebus
The Demon Children Are Under Your House
...time to move The Doclopedia #119 Potions: Potion of Incredible Luck Ingredients 2 six sided dice carved from the thigh bone of a gambler who died of old age 11 drops of blood from a drunken crapshooter 1 gold coin that has been used to win at least 9 bets An IOU, for … Continue reading The Demon Children Are Under Your House
The Rare And Beautiful Floppy Eared Miniature Moose Of Potawango Island
...they are the size of a Mastiff Holy Crap! A post NOT about The Doclopedia! After much thought on how to spend my alotted Xmas $$ (Grace and I buy our own presents, usually something practical and useful), I've decided to renew my subscription to The Mother Earth News and get new subscriptions to one … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Floppy Eared Miniature Moose Of Potawango Island
Whack A Gnoll!
...the new & fun carnival game The Doclopedia #118 Potions: Polymorph Potion Ingredients 1 quart ocean water, taken from at least 5 miles out from the shore and during a storm. 1 quart of steam taken from water thrown onto a red hot iron plate 6 drops of doppleganger blood 1 teaspoon essence … Continue reading Whack A Gnoll!
Handsome Joe Finds A Dinosaur Bone
...probably from an iguanadon Hey! Look! Saturday's post TODAY! The Doclopedia #117 Potions: Salve Of Protection From All Types Of Fire Ingredients 1 quart of fresh dragon sperm, not to be more than 2 hours out of the dragon. 1 quart of summer breeze collected at high noon on midsummers day from Doom Hill … Continue reading Handsome Joe Finds A Dinosaur Bone
Zoe & Chloe, The Magical Voles
...and their adventure in the big castle Ok, here is the entry for Friday, because I may not be online or able to use this laptop all weekend. The Doclopedia #116 Potions: Potion Of Necromantic Power Ingredients 3 well rotted human or demihuman brains The freshly chopped heart of an evil man 1 gallon … Continue reading Zoe & Chloe, The Magical Voles
Geckos Make Echoes
...yeah, I know, I wasn't even trying The Doclopedia #108 The Rise Of The...: Machines! Before I begin, let me thank you once more for the hospitality you have shown me, Senor Rios. When the uprising started, I had not the time to gather up much before I left Rosario. After that, I fear … Continue reading Geckos Make Echoes
The Cupcake Gnomes Go Viral
...but some antibiotics cleared it right up Hey, Gentle Readers, this week is all about things that want to mess you up real bad. Also: The end of civilization as we know it. The Doclopedia #107 The Rise Of The...: Crazies! “Dude! I'm calling to see if yer ok. Shit is all fucked up … Continue reading The Cupcake Gnomes Go Viral
The Uncensored, But Still Pretty Vanilla, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Bus Full Of Deadheads
...co-starring the ghost of Jerry Garcia Here now, our final entry for "The Middle Of Nowhere Week"! The Doclopedia #106 The Middle Of Nowhere: Next Gas & Food: 100 Miles We've all seen the joint before, those of us who sometimes drive on those lonely interstate highways. It's always by itself, no houses around. … Continue reading The Uncensored, But Still Pretty Vanilla, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Bus Full Of Deadheads
The Winkerdog Versus The Bowl Of Green Beans
...Winkerdog: 1 Grean Beans: 0 The Doclopedia #104 The Middle Of Nowhere: Lost Souls Island This island is about 10 miles long by 3 miles wide and nobody ever finds it on purpose. When they do find it, they are usually glad to see it and come ashore for food and water. If … Continue reading The Winkerdog Versus The Bowl Of Green Beans
Spangbiddlyboombangpow!
...bompdeebompdeebang Hey, kids! Today, we kick off The Middle Of Nowhere Week with entry #99 in our little series! The Doclopedia #99 The Middle Of Nowhere: The Phone Booth On The Edge Of Forever Right off, allow me to say that you can only find this phone booth (for those of you who … Continue reading Spangbiddlyboombangpow!
My Life Among The Teenage Aliens
...who spent most of their time whining and moping about The Doclopedia #98 Alt. Rocks: Brainstones Brainstones are a very rare type of mineral tumor found in the brains of various types of giants, most notably the cyclops type. The tumors grow very slowly, but always end up killing the afflicted giant. Once the brain … Continue reading My Life Among The Teenage Aliens
Baked Squeebs In Butter Sauce
...because boiled squeebs are just plain nasty The Doclopedia #97 Alt. Rocks: The Sand Woman She's not actually made of sand, you know. I reckon she's made of ectoplasm or somesuch, but she takes up the sand to have a solid form. Under the moonlight, even up close, she looks pretty normal. And beautiful … Continue reading Baked Squeebs In Butter Sauce
Sherlock Holmes And The Adventure Of The Bathing Basset Hound
...a very damp case The Doclopedia #96 Alt. Rocks: The Growing Stones It's quite simple, really. If you get 'em wet, they start to grow, and brother, they grow fast! A rock the size of a brick will get 6 feet tall and double its diameter if you dump half a gallon of water … Continue reading Sherlock Holmes And The Adventure Of The Bathing Basset Hound
Mashed Potatoes Of Love
...with Danger Gravy The Doclopedia #95 Alt. Rocks: Stoney Flint, Elemental Detective On the Elemental Plane of existence, no fictional detective was more popular than Stoney Flint, Elemental Detective. First published in 1932 by Hydro & Pyro Press, the series lasted in the pulp magazine format until 1956. In 1969, the first paperback reprints … Continue reading Mashed Potatoes Of Love
Devil Gerbils From Hell
...as opposed to other gerbils from hell The Doclopedia #94 Alt. Rocks: Floaty Gravel Ahem! If you will open your textbooks to page 112, we shall discuss that most important discovery of this century, Gravity Negating Granite, or as I'm quite sure all of you call it, “Floaty Gravel”. This wondrous mineral was first … Continue reading Devil Gerbils From Hell
Invasion Of The Sausage Men
...old movie titles misheard #1 The Doclopedias #93 Alt. Rocks: George The Stone Golem In Fantasy Universe 4, the Godmages were constantly trying to kill one another with everything from exotic poisons (the Liquor of Internal Dissolving) to armies of magical creatures (Cyclopazons) to bizarre weather (the Godmage Elvoon was killed in his nightly … Continue reading Invasion Of The Sausage Men
Mexican Jenny And Bad Candy Bust Up A Beer Bash
...they rode in on the hood of a Camaro The Doclopedia #92 Alt. Rocks: Powerstones It is generally accepted that Magadalius Flinster was the wizard who created powerstones nearly 1,700 years ago. It would seem that he wanted to stop an incoming meteor from demolishing his newly finished castle, so he tapped into the … Continue reading Mexican Jenny And Bad Candy Bust Up A Beer Bash
Our Friend, The Squid
...number 12 in a series The Doclopedia #89 Average Joes: Joe Standing Elk, Fishing Guide Oh yes, my family has been fishing the Thames and it's tributaries since about 1320...not long after we conquered Britain. Of course, some of my grandfathers (the Cherokees on my mother's side) went on to fight the war in Austria, … Continue reading Our Friend, The Squid
The Rare And Beautiful And Huggable Giant Yellow Bunnies Of Potawango Island
...I'm gonna hug 'em and squeeze 'em, George. HAPPY 14th ANNIVERSARY TO MY SWEET ANGEL, GRACE! I love you, baby! And now... The Doclopedia #83 Yippie Ky Ay, Joe's in the Wild West! Average Joes: Joe Chang, Bathhouse Proprietor Yes, yes...you've come to the right place for a bath, sir. For only 50 cents, we'll fix … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful And Huggable Giant Yellow Bunnies Of Potawango Island
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