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The Doclopedia #1,876
Seven Bad Axes: Mackenzie’s Murderer
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Welcome to the Museum of Infamous Weapons. We have a most wonderful collection of weaponry used in an assortment of deadly crimes. Many, indeed more than half of them, are enchanted in some way. Some were wielded by actual monsters, not just the human kind. All of them have a bloody history.
For example, take this hand axe that we call “Mackenzie’s Murderer”. It was used by the legendary bandit and murderer Argus Mackenzie to kill at least 30 people, and possibly twice that. His favored method of doing people in was a deep blow to the head from behind given that he was a large and powerful man, such blows often split the victims head like a melon. Witnesses, what few there were, said that he laughed out loud as he killed.
Argus Mackenzie was captured by the Queen’s Northern Patrol in 1285. He was executed via fireball on GreenMoon 10th, 1286.
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The Doclopedia #1,877
Seven Bad Axes: Uwon’s Cleaver
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This mighty axe, as you can see, has a 7 foot long handle. That razor sharp blade is 3 feet wide. Even in an unenchanted state, I think we can all agree that such a weapon in the hands of a Blue Troll would be very deadly. In the enchanted state, it was far worse.
Uwon was, as we all learned in school, the terror of the 13th Century. Leading his army of Blue, White and Swamp Trolls, he came out of the south like a wave of death and destruction. So crazed with murderous intent were they, we now know the Orc people only from old writings. Their entire race was wiped out in a matter of days,
The cruelty of Uwon himself was legendary. This axe is the perfect example of that, for it was enchanted not to kill. No, instead, when Uwon would strike a victim with it, it would cleave then in two, but both halves would stay alive in intense pain. Only by destroying one half could both halves die. The Troll Army never did this. They left screaming victims for predators or any survivors to deal with.
Eventually, the Troll Army was stopped and every single one of them except Uwon was beheaded. For Uwon, the punishment fit the crime, as he was cut in two lengthwise using his own axe. Because of the enchantment, both halves live even now, 400 years later. The left half is a crypt deep under Slime Mountain. The right half is in an unmarked grave on the other side of the world.
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