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The Doclopedia #1,914
State Secrets: Missouri – Sam I Am
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Samuel Langhorne Clemens, AKA Mark Twain, Was perhaps the greatest humorist the United States ever produced.
And he has been seen, alive, in Missouri, at least 7 times in the last 10 years. Not a ghost, an alien, a robot or some shapeshifting cryptid. Fingerprints and DNA confirm it. Mark Twain, live and in the flesh, was, is and probably will be, in Missouri.
The SXU has no explanation for this. They have suspicions, almost all of which refer back to an “Anomaly #1”, of whom we could learn nothing except that capturing Anomaly #1 is apparently the highest priority of the SXU, all similar agencies worldwide and a great many other organizations, both governmental and private.
Of the 7 Twain sightings, 4 were in Hannibal, Missouri. On each of these occasions he walked around the main street of town, chatting with people and making humorous remarks about how his name and likeness were being used as advertising. Physically, this was Twain in his peak years of fame, only even more healthy appearing. Although he generally spoke in the vernacular of his day, he seemed to be perfectly accustomed to modern slang, too. He gladly posed for pictures. Everyone who met him thought he was just a Mark Twain impersonator.
Twain’s other 3 sightings were in other towns along the river, where he behaved much as he did in Hannibal. In all 7 instances, he was around for about 2 hours, then slipped away from the crowds and, in 4 cases, SXU surveillance. In no case did anyone or any camera see him leave town or the building he walked into.
Twain was last seen in Missouri on July 17th, 2018. The SXU feels sure he will be back sometime in 2020.
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The Doclopedia #1,915
State Secrets: Montana – Bear Naked
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If you saw it, as nearly 50 other people have, you’d think it was a very large and totally hairless grizzly bear. It’s eyes glow red and it has a mouth full of long needle sharp teeth. It moves rapidly, even for a grizzly, who are fast to begin with.
Although the first few sightings were near an interstate highway outside Butte, all subsequent encounters were north and west of there. The last sighting was in the high mountains near Glacier National Park.
What is this creature? A cyborg. Part of it is bear, but part of it is human and part is dog. Most of it is machine. It was being developed by the military in a secret facility not far from Butte. At some point, its intelligence rose to a point were it decided to break loose, destroy the facility, kill a few scientists and generals, then run off to the high lonesome. The military has been constantly searching for Bear Naked since it was last sighted in October of 2019, but the cannot find him.
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