…no, no, the OTHER funny thing
.
Life On The Magic Bus
Chapter 9, Part 5: Across America At Random
Mary claims the Middle of Nowhere
Lucy & Flash misbehave
8/11/2014
At 10 in the morning, the Bus and her crew made their first stop for a video. They had been on the road for 4 hours and were deep into the east Oregon desert, not too far from the Nevada state line. This spot had been chosen simply because the road they were on formed a T intersection with a dirt road called Hog Race Road.
Once the camera was set up, everyone gathered together and greeted the internet audience.
“Howdy everyone out in Internetland! Doc and crew here at Hog Race Road, which is not much of a road and this would be a shit area for a hog to live anyway.”
Spike added, “I think the last living thing we saw was a jackrabbit, back when we stopped for still pictures.”
“And he was heading west toward the slightly less deserty desert.” Grace said. “Which means he was smarter than us.”
At that point, Mary stepped forward with a 6 foot long pole that had a tie dyed flag on it. She stuck the pole in the ground and said, “I hereby declare this the Middle of Nowhere! I do not claim it because who the heck would want it?”
With that, all assembled humans and critters took a bow and then walked off camera.
A few hours later, having passed through a shitload of middles of nowhere, the crew was stopped in Baker, Nevada. They were at the Great Basin Visitor Center to get whatever souvenirs they could. While Grace and Mary went inside to do the buying, Doc and Spike were walking the critters, Spike taking Sasha, while Doc walked Lucy. Flash, as he often did, rode on Lucy’s back.
Just a few minutes into the walk, a large ground squirrel popped out of a hole, chittered something at Lucy, then took off running. With a cry of “Get that fucker!” from Flash and an angry growl from Lucy, they took off after it, pulling the loosely held leash from Doc’s hand.
With a cry of “Oh shit!” Doc took out after them.
Sasha looked at Spike. “If it’s all the same to you, Uncle Spike, I’d just as soon sit this one out.”
“Sounds good to me,” Spike said as they continued moseying along.
The 10 minute chase that ensued included things like Lucy knocking over a teenage boy tourist, the ground squirrel running up one side and down the other of a woman who then proceeded to go full tilt hysterical, Flash continuously yelling dire threats at the squirrel, and Doc yelling for Lucy to stop. Eventually, the squirrel ran into a crack in a big pile of rocks and the chase stopped, which was good because Grace and Mary had just come out of the visitor’s center.
Back on the bus, nobody really believed that Doc was going to sell Lucy and Flash to a roadside zoo, but the two critters kept a low profile for the rest of the night.
Garrison, Utah, as it turned out, had about 150 residents over 335 square miles. There was an LDS church, a post office, a yard for the Utah Department of Transportation, and fuck all else. It was right on the Nevada border and some of the buildings were actually in Nevada.
Once they had parked the bus and shot the end of day video, Doc added a final bit to it.
“Folks, I REALLY hope our stop for tomorrow night is someplace with AT LEAST a gas station.”
This was said more for effect than necessity, since the Magic Bus was all electric and generated it’s own power.
After dinner and some games, everyone went to bed, Doc included. He said he’d get up an hour ealy in the morning to see where the hell they were going next.
Shortly after midnight, Sasha, Lucy, and Flash got on the computer and went to the Random Trip Facebook room to see where they were headed in the morning.
“Really?,” Flash said.
“Oh wow, that’s a hell of a route,” Lucy added.
Sasha looked at the long stretch of road on the map, then she chuckled.
“Daddy is going to shit when he sees this.”
Then they all went back to bed.
The Dociverse Blog 