…with the flapjack fairies
The Doclopedia #3,063
Stairway To…: Kaiju
From the notebook of Zimwalt the Astounding…
Friends, I am done with any more stairways until I have done some very rigorous studying of the multiverse! This last stairway took me to the most dangerous place I have ever been, and that is saying something!
The stairway looked safe enough, being stone with a handrail. I went up the 23 steps and found myself in a large city at midday. The people were of a type much like our Kukini, being overall shorter than I and uniformly dark haired with pronounced epicanthic eye folds. This was an advanced civilization, since I saw many types of machines, mostly the conveyance type. I was walking toward a group of them when a loud noise went off and people began to scream and run.
I looked in the direction they were running from and saw a nightmare emerge from the bay.
It was a sort of bipedal reptile, basically built like the primitive Crokorik reptilian folk of the Lost Continent, but with less of a snout, shorter front limbs, a much longer tail, AND IT WAS 300 FEET TALL! Even a couple of miles away, its roar was deafening.
As I watched, it began heading into the city in a direction south of me. It crushed buildings, tore up other structures and generally unleashed hell. I was transfixed by this display of raw power, unable to move.
I regained my ability to move when an enormous bird/dragon combination broke through the clouds and smote the lizard with a wing as it passed by at great speed. The lizard roared in anger and then BREATHED OUT A STRANGE FIRE! The bird thing was only minimally affected and returned for another attack. At this point a man grabbed my arm and pulled me into a building.
A quickly cast spell allowed me to understand that these great beasts were “kaiju” and there would be more coming. This soon proved true.
I watched as a great moth, a three headed golden dragon, a giant human, an enormous ape, and a flying turtle all joined the fight. And friends, that fight started to move in our direction! For three hours we ran, hid, and barely avoided death dozens of times. When the stairway finally appeared, it was just as several large mechanical humanoids joined the fight.
So, as you can see, I am in need of several good drinks, a hot bath, and a great deal of study before I again seek the stairway to Heaven.
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