Uncle Doc Talks To You About Not Being Able To Do His Gardening

…it’s making him crazy

The Doclopedia #3,289

It’s Not On The Map: Archer Dome

In the early 21st century on Earth 2-E, four domes were built on Mars by the MarsTrek Foundation. Named the Kirk, Picard, Sisko, and Janeway domes, they were soon settled and doing very well. Due to political military, and business conflicts back on Earth, over the next 30 years, nobody built any other large domes. There were several small outposts spread out around the planet, all of them run by different factions, but no large inhabited domes.

Somewhere around 2058, a combination of governments and corporations told the MarsTrek Foundation that they were going to annex the 4 Mars domes for “Terran security reasons.” This was not popular on Earth, and on Mars, it received a transmission to Earth saying “Fuck You!” in every known language, several dead ones, and 15 fictional ones. This totally pissed off the Combine back on Earth, and 3 years later, they launched an invasion force of 10,000 troops, 1,000 ground vehicles, 200 aircraft, and “enough firepower to wipe those domes out.” During the whole trip to Mars, the only signal the Red Planet sent was the “Fuck You!” message. This did very little for the morale of “Operation Red Freedom.”

When the invaders got to Mars, they found all 4 domes destroyed, completely burned out months earlier. There were no signs of life higher that lichen or moss. Still, Mission Control told them to investigate. They did not tell them about the riots and revolutions back on Earth.

As the ground forces entered the destroyed domes, they found nothing left intact. In fact, after a few hours of looking around, they began to think they were seeing much less than they should have. It was just at about the point that Ground Command realized that shit was very wrong that 4 of their 5 orbiting transport vessels began shutting down, forcing Orbital Command personnel to transfer over quickly to Main Command. Then all the controls for the Main Command ship locked up and the “Fuck You!” message started playing.

Down on the planet, drop ships carrying weapons locked down, aircraft lost control except for landing ability, and things just plain went to shit for the invaders. After spending several hours watching their life support fade away, the Free Mars Govenment asked for their surrender and got it. Soon, large surface vehicles came to pick them up and transfer them to a holding facility. It may come as no surprise that fully 20% of the lower ranks of the invading force asked for asylum. They got it, while everyone else was loaded onto 3 of the 5 transport ships and sent back to Earth, where not only was the Combine destroyed, so were many other governments and corporations. Life on Earth got much better after that.

On Mars, the newest citizens learned that the 4 domes that initially got built were cheap fakes to keep Earth eyes looking at them, while a larger, tougher, and well hidden Archer dome was built in secret elsewhere. After that, it was just a matter of secret planning for the eventual betrayal by the “assholes on Earth.”

By 5 years after the aborted invasion, Kirk, Picard, Sisko, and Janeway domes were actually being built. But to this day, you cannot find Archer dome on any map of Mars.

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