…shit was about to get real
The Doclopedia #3,338
That Time We Did That Thing: Cleaned The Kraken’s Cage
Holy crap, was that ever a disgusting job. If Ron and I hadn’t been broke flat without a coin between us, we’d have never done it.
First of all, you have to get the damned Kraken out of the cage, which isn’t difficult, but is very dangerous. Of course, none of the fuckin’ gods would help us. Bunch of assholes. Anyway, Ron goes and stands in the holding cage and yells at the Kraken until it’s pissed off, then I open the main cage gate and it rushes toward him. He squeezes through the cage bars, I slam the door, the Kraken goes nuts, and we both fall down and catch our breath.
The actual cleaning of the cage took 6 hours, because Krakens shit like 3 tons a day. And the smell is almost bad enough to knock you out. We puked a few times. Then, when the main cage was clean, we repeated the running and cage shutting.
When we were done Poseidon paid us 100 pieces of gold each, blasted us clean with seawater, and dropped us off on a beach near Athens. Two days later, we were leaving Greece and heading inland where nobody had ever heard of a fucking Kraken.
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