…the April, 1958 issue
After several days of rain and overcast skies, today was sunny and cool and windy. It was also not enough to stave off a pretty bad round of S.A.D. Only the fact that I was busy as a one legged man in an asskicking contest today kept me from just sitting down and staring off into space and feeling like shit.
Tonight, tho, I was not busy and what with Grace going to bed early…well, I’m as depressed as I’m ever likely to get without somebody I love dying.
So, what follows is mostly venting. I’ll feel better soon…this stuff comes in waves…and I do know that how I feel is not a patch on somebody who suffers from REAL depression. Anyway…
I miss Roscoe
I miss my dad…22 years this February and I still miss him.
I miss the friends that I see far too infrequently
I wish I could be a better husband
I wish I could be a better son
I wish I could be a better brother and uncle
I wish I could be a better friend
I miss the bad old days. Maybe 3 people will know exactly what that means.
I hate my crappy skin
I hate being…domesticated. Not most of the time, but sometimes.
I regret not having kids
I hate feeling this way
I REALLY REALLY hate winter.
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