The Screwball Funny, Yet Also Erotic, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The 5 Robots Named Gus

…co-starring her new boyfriend, Blinky Swerdlow

I took The Girls to the park just a bit ago. We do this every weekday, since the park is only about 2 blocks away and they both need exercise. Winker, who needs to work off some of her chubbiness, is not a great fan of such walks, since the outside world is not air conditioned or carpeted. Lucy likes to walk, which is good because it burns off energy and it helps her gain confidence about…well, everything.

Also, the park has children and squirrels.

Now, Winker loves people, but she really loves kids. She could probably spend hours being petted and told how cute she is.

Lucy, she’s a chasin’ kinda gal. If she sees a cat or a squirrel, she is off like a floppy eared rocket. That’s why she gets the 16′ retractable leash.

Today, fate worked out to have both hounds see their chosen prey at the same time…in opposite directions. While the Winkerdog zoomed off at a much slower pace than Lucy, she still weighs 45 pounds and was very determined to go love her some kids. Lucy, seeing the arrogant (and possibly communist) rodent casually digging among some leaves, took off to make the world safe from bushy tailed terrorists. Lucy weighs about 55 pounds.

A less well constructed person than myself might have had both arms torn off, but I just let out a dignified “Wha? Hey! Ughuff! Shit!”.

Once I got my composure back (and they both reached the ends of their respective leashes), I reeled them in. Both of them gave me the stink eye, and in Winker’s case, that’s pretty bad since she just has the one eye to use.

I told Lucy that she had done an excellent job of kicking the squirrel’s ass, then lead them both over to the kids, where much oohing and aahing was bestowed upon both of them.

After awhile, we left for home and the glory of air conditioning, no squirrels and Fooood Foorrrr Dooggggssss.

Also: naps for dogs.