… big as minivans, they is!
The Doclopedia #23
Places That Don’t Stay In One Place: Old Gus & His Party Bus
On Earth 48, the superhero Earth, the numbers of heroes & villains is pretty much equal to the DC and Marvel universes combined. You can’t swing a radioactive spider without hitting somebody wearing a mask, a cape or a suit of power armor. But all is not well for these paragons of virtue and vice. Besides the stresses of fighting against good or evil, there is the unrelenting competition for recognition among your peers. I mean, if you’re Lex Luthor, you’re constantly looking over your shoulder for Doctor Doom or The Joker. Same goes for Thor wondering if people are paying more attention to Superman or the Hulk. Understandably, many heroes & villains are constantly watching their blood pressure and taking headache medicine.
But there is a stress reliever out there that they all drop their plans for: Old Gus & his Party Bus! When Gus rolls into town, it’s time to party and forget your cares. Leave your spandex at home and get into your kicks, heroes & villains, cos Gus is buying the beer.
Nobody knows where Gus or his bus came from, but the top contender among the rumors is that he was a Time Lord who decided he just wanted to stay in one place and relax. The fact that his bus can hold upwards of 500 people would seem to lend credence to this.
Old Gus looks sort of like some bastard child of Hunter S. Thompson and Santa Claus. His hair is long & white, as is his beard. He’s not overly fat, just happily plump. He has a bald spot, which he usually covers with a beat to shit cowboy hat. His t-shirts are tie dyed and worn under a Hawaiian shirt. He wears blue jeans and sandals. Almost constantly has a burning joint in a cigarette holder. He’s mellow, but a tad sarcastic and sometimes he sees things that (one hopes) aren’t there.
The party bus has close to 60 rooms, from a jungle room to an old west saloon to a room out of a BDSM wet dream. The music is always loud and rocking. There are maybe full service 18 bars and complimentary bowls of every drug worth taking. The staff seems to be made up of young hippies of both sexes. Many rooms have light shows and the smell of incense is everywhere.
When Gus rolls into town, a telepathic broadcast goes out to all heroes & villains: “Party on the bus in 24 hours.” Sure enough, a day later, the doors on the bus open up and for the next 12 hours, it’s time to boogie.
When supers enter the bus, three things happen. First, all powers that don’t actually keep them alive are muted to near useless levels. Secondly, all gadgets that don’t support your life are instantly removed and stored for you. Finally, your costume changes into suitable peace & love style. Once those things happen, you are free to enjoy yourself. Not surprisingly, the very air in the bus has a calming effect, so old animosities are soon forgotten. It would not at all be unusual to see Spider-Man and the Green Goblin sharing a bottle of Boone’s Farm wine and singing “Louie Louie” together. Oddly, the next day, nobody has a hangover.
Old Gus seems to hit a different city somewhere in the world every 5 days. He is beloved wherever he goes and the lives of supers everywhere are just a bit less stressful.
The Dociverse Blog 