…pink bastards!
The Doclopedia #1,481
The Alphabet: Z is For…Zikritz
Among the Guldiartan Dwarves, the game of Zikritz might as well be the national pastime. Everyone played it when they were young and most bet on it when they become adults. Each Dwarven clan has their own pro team and when the Zikritz Cup is held every 3 years, work pretty much comes to a stop.
Zikritz is played on an X shaped field. Each arm of the X is 200 feet long and 50 feet wide. The goals are a pair of 5 foot wide holes in the center and similar 2.5 foot holes at the end of each arm. The arms are not smooth and flat, but have small hills and depressions all along them.
The game starts with 6 players from each team on the center of the field, facing outward around the two scoring holes. One player from each team is located in front of the scoring holes at each arm. When the horn blows, a ball is tossed into the midway point of one of the arms and the game is on.
Scoring is simple: get the ball into your team’s center hole and you score 1 point. Get it into your team’s hole in any arm and you score 3 points. Since this is a dwarven game, you can expect lots of shoving, tripping, tackling, punching and body slamming. Games run for exactly two hours, at which point the winning team is declared and then both teams head off for a raucous feast.
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The Doclopedia #1,482
The Alphabet: Z is For…Zenobia Savage
Now look, I ain’t sayin’ that Zenobia has anything more in common with that big bronze skinned guy than a last name. Then again, I ain’t sayin’ she don’t. I’m just sayin’ that it don’t take much observin’ to see all the similarities.
I mean, Zenobia is tall, right? 6’2” is taller than most men. She’s strong, too. Remember that time she knocked out that big German spy with one punch? That was damned impressive.
Then there’s how friggin’ smart she is. She’s a genius at all sorts of things. You an’ me, Joey, we ain’t idiots, an’ Stan is smarter than both of us, but she makes us all look dumb as doorknobs. She’s got them PhDs and stuff from universities.
Yeah, right, she’s rich, too. Got them cars an’ planes an’ boats an’ that big fancy house outside of Baltimore. Yeah, an’ that place out west in, whadda ya call it, Santa Barbera. I mean, we know she owns businesses an’ stuff, but maybe dear old dad gave her a nice grubstake after college.
Oh yeah, sure, she ain’t white like he is, but what of it? You gots Irish mixed with yer Puerto Rican an it’s plain to see that I ain’t one race or the other. I figure the big guy met some fine black woman an’ things went on from there. Ya know, rumor has it he’s got a half Chinese daughter and a son that’s half Navajo. Big handsome guy like him must be getting ladies on him like ants on a sugar bowl. Why, I’ll bet he…
Oh, hi, Zeno? Us, oh we was just yakkin’. Trouble somewhere? Hey, you know we’re yer boys!
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