…it was just horrible
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The Doclopedia #1,525
What The Hell Was That?: The Big Thing
“Good God! What the devil was that, Jim?”
“I am double damned if I know, Jack, but if it turns to go down the valley, it’ll stampede the herd sure enough!”
“That’s a fact, and… Wait, there it is, heading up the ridge over there. Lord, that thing is big!”
“Huff…puff…huff…Mr. Hawks, did you…huff…puff…see that?”
“Yes, yes, Ned, Mr. Anderson and I both saw it. Now catch your breath, son, before you keel over. Jack, you ever heard of a big hairy thing like that? It must have been 30 feet tall if it was an inch.”
“Nope, never heard of anything like it. Now, the Indians have a legend of a wild hairy man, but he’s only 7-8 feet tall and his eyes don’t glow like that thing’s did.”
“Well, sir, I don’t want to be here if that son of a bitch comes back, so let’s break camp and go back to the herd. We’ll let Mr. Bucksley decide on what to do next. Jack, you keep that Winchester close by.”
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The Doclopedia #1,526
What The Hell Was That?: The Stinky Thing
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“Cough, cough! Oh shit, that was disgusting! Thank goodness we have a breeze. God, the smell of that thing was just gross. Are you okay, Danell? How about you, Sammy? I nearly barfed.
What the fuck was that thing? It looked like some sort of sick dog or something. Maybe a coyote? Do you think it was a coyote? I’ve never seen one this far into the city.
Yeah, you’re right, that tail was too long for a dog or coyote. The ears were not right, either. Yeah, yeah, they were way too long and stuck straight up. What? The front paws were like hands? No fucking way! Really? I didn’t see them. I was too busy trying not to puke.
Well, whatever it is, I’m glad it’s gone and I say we get the fuck out of here. Jeez, I think I’ll just burn these clothes. You can smell that thing on them.”